fic for yukitsubute!

[nino_mod]

For: yukitsubute
From: :3.

Title: The world ending (at our feet)
Pairing/Focus: Aiba/Nino/Matumoto
Rating: E
Word count: ~30,000
Warnings: Swearing, a few graphic descriptions of violence and body parts. Sex, and very light BDSM.
Summary: It's the zombie apocalypse and Nino has run away from his camp. Fortunately, he finds two strangers who save his life and, maybe, give him the chance of a new beginning.
Notes: One of the requests was a Walking Dead AU. Now, this is mostly a Zombie AU because I haven't watched the show, but I hope you can enjoy it. I've had a great time writing it.


Chapter 1

Walking in a wasteland that used to be rice fields alone is no game. Even less when the living dead could be crawling a meter from you without you even smelling them. Since I left my group and my solitary trip started, I'd wondered if I had a death wish. How good would it be if I turned and went back to eat those assholes' brains?

No. I ran away from that town because I knew that if I stayed there, that man would end up killing me. No matter how many times he said he loved me, I knew the truth. Maybe that bastard loved me, but it didn't matter. Love had nothing to do with what he did to me. I was not going to stay by his side like a sitting duck.

It had been at least two weeks since my wanderings from the coast of Chiba started, with the hope of finding a new settlement that would take me in. I had only found two, and none of them wanted anything to do with a stranger. Funny, what the apocalypse could do to people who surely had been good neighbors in their past life. Just a few months fending for their lives and suddenly they couldn't trust a beaten-up kid that showed up at their doorstep.

The night was quickly approaching, but I had been walking toward a small group of low buildings and had to reach them, no matter what the cost. My backpack had been empty since yesterday; if I couldn't at least find a safe source of water, it would not matter that I managed to stay away from the zombies during the night.

The last kilometer was the worst. The stars illuminated the sky above my head, a sight that the Nino from the past, the city kid, would have loved. Now the lack of artificial light only meant that I could not see what was coming my way. My knees were trembling and I feared that I was going to have to crawl the last part of my way into the first house I saw. The small village looked abandoned, but there could be people hiding just like I intended to do. And if they saw a figure crawling toward them, they would not hesitate to shoot.

Half delirious with thirst, hunger, and exhaustion, I managed to reach the door of what had been a cute two-story family house. The door wasn't even properly locked; I just had to push to open it. And find myself at the wrong end of a gun barrel. Immediately my hands went into the air.

"If you don't want any trouble, you're going to turn around and walk away," the man behind the trigger said, his voice steady as steel. "And know that until I see you out of town this gun is going to be pointing at you."

Everything became blurry around me. Tears were pooling in my eyes and, right there, I was tired enough that I felt tempted to just beg him to pull the trigger. At least the nightmare would be finally over. No.

"I need water, food, and shelter for the night," I said, my voice raspy and not as steady as I would have wanted. Tears started to fall down my cheeks, but that was the last thing on my mind. "I will leave you alone, but I can't leave the town."

A click as a warning. I was sure the man would not hesitate in pulling the trigger, but the only options I had were to die at this man's hands or to die of thirst in the middle of nowhere. His big cold eyes filled my entire vision; even through the tears of desperation, I held his stare and I'm proud to say that I didn't even flinch.

"Put the gun down, dear," another voice came from behind the man. I could feel his presence in front of me, but I still did not look away from the shooter's eyes. "Jun, lower the fucking gun. This man needs help."

The man, Jun, huffed, but the barrel went down to point to the ground. He still held it firmly in his hands, his finger still on the trigger, and it was obvious that if I made any movement out of place he would shoot me in the head. With a bit of hesitation, my hands still up in the air, I looked at the other man out of the corner of my eye. At least he had a soft smile and his hand was firmly gripping Jun's shoulder.

"My name is Aiba Masaki. This is my husband, Matsumoto Jun." His voice was sweet like honey and it could put the twitchiest beast at ease.

"Ninomiya Kazunari," I panted back. Adrenaline was giving up on me.

"Why are you here alone, Ninomiya?" Aiba asked. It was easy to note that, even though he appeared friendly, he was still behind Matsumoto's back.

"I had to leave the people I was with," I answered, trying to keep it as vague and simple as possible, but I knew how suspicious that sounded. "I want to check in with my family in Tokyo."

"It's been a year since Tokyo fell to the apocalypse. Why hadn't you gone before?" Matsumoto growled, his fingers twitching.

"I had a boyfriend. Now he's not my boyfriend anymore."

"Have you encountered any living dead?" Aiba asked in a softer tone, his smile growing more compassionate.

"Not up close. I've seen some on the line of the forest."

The two men turned to look at each other, holding each other's eyes for a few seconds. I was starting to feel restless; they behaved like they could really talk to each other with their minds. At last, Aiba turned towards me with an apologetic smile and stepped back so Matsumoto could close the door.

"Give us just a second," Aiba said through the crack of the door before the bang made me jump out of my skin.

I glued my ear to the wall, just in case. As expected, the walls were thick enough that unless they started a shouting match no sound would get outside. At least it felt fresh against my forehead, a blessing after a whole day of walking under the sun with nothing to drink or eat. The pavement was harsh on my knees and I wasn't sure when I had kneeled, but there I was nonetheless.

Soon there was nothing to see but the darkness that surrounded me, too absolute to just be due to the night. A door opening, an abrupt gasp, steps and someone shouting. Big hands took my shoulders firmly and the floor moved under my body. And then, nothing more.

* * *

The first thing I tried to do when I was more or less conscious was to rub my eyes, but something very heavy was holding my hands down. Maybe I was sleeping over them, so I turned and tried again, but the weight wouldn't go away. A moan escaped my lips, pain starting to attack me now that I was regaining feeling in my limbs. I probably fell asleep once again, but, in the end, I managed to open my eyes.

"Welcome back to the land of the living," Aiba's gentle voice greeted me, closely followed by his warm hand on my forehead. Even breathing hurt, so I couldn't even dream of pushing him away and demanding to know what was going on. "No fever, that's new. Wait a second."

He left and came back with a glass of water that I wanted to refuse, but his firm hand on my shoulders helped me sit up enough not to choke. Once the water touched my lips, I started drinking as if my life depended on it. It probably did. Once I had downed the whole glass and he let me lie down again, I started feeling even worse. Every single inch of my body felt like it weighed a ton and was also on fire.

"I would give you painkillers if I had them, sorry," Aiba said as he fussed around me, opening my eyes and mouth to take a look, taking my pulse... then another shadow appeared.

"Masaki, don't get that close." Matsumoto put himself by his side, a hand on Aiba's shoulder and the other over the pistol that hung from his hip. Great, I thought.

"He nearly died. I need to make sure that he's going to get well. Dehydration and exhaustion can do a number on people." Aiba pushed Matsumoto's hand away and my heart felt a bit warmer. At least it seemed that there was someone whose first instinct wasn't to kill me.

"We don't know if he's infected."

"He said he hadn't been closed to the..." Aiba shook his head and walked away again, Matsumoto close on his heels. All I could see was Aiba's back covered by a faded kimono that he wore as a jacket.

"We can't trust him."

I wanted to say that I wasn't lying, that I would never lie about something so serious. Maybe it was time to get up and go... the same weight I had felt around my wrists was around my ankles. Then it hit me and I turned to see that I was right. They had chained me down. The chains rattled as I tried to pull at them with all my strength. Immediately their eyes turned to me.

"You need to rest, so don't worry about that." Aiba's eyes turned softer and picked up a cup from the counter. He petted my hair softy and helped me drink whatever liquid he had brought me. Immediately I felt sick and only Aiba's hand on my back stopped me from spitting it right back.

"What the hell was that?" I groaned.

"It will help with the pain. Not as good as actual medicine, but it's all I have," Aiba said, sitting on a chair by my side. "And we're sorry about the chains. You understand we can't risk it, right?"

"I'm in pain enough as it is, and I don't need the chains to add to that," I grumbled and squirmed to make sure I was looking into Aiba's eyes. "I haven't been bitten, and you can check if you want to."

"I can."

"No, you won't," Matsumoto said, crossing his arms, but Aiba got to his feet immediately and walked right up to his face.

"You're being paranoid." Aiba was trying to speak in a low voice, but the place wasn't that big and I could hear every word. "We can't kill everyone who crosses our path because of what could be."

"We have to keep each other safe if we want to reach Kyoto," Matsumoto whispered back, his voice strained by what was possibly a discussion they had had before more than once. "We have to help so that we can rebuild our lives. So that we can come back to your family."

"Jun," Aiba's tone became softer and he put his hands on Matsumoto's hips. "I have not lost sight of our goal. That doesn't mean we can't help people along the way. This year has been hell, but..." he leaned even closer, and I barely could make out the words leaving his mouth. "I'm scared this will destroy our humanity. What are we if we just abandon someone to die?"

Matsumoto stood frozen for a few seconds before enclosing Aiba's shoulders within his arms, holding the other man against his chest. I turned away, uncomfortable at being witness to what clearly was an intimate moment. Not that I could go very far away. Something tightened inside my chest. Was it that I missed having someone to hug me like that, was it watching this couple support each other?

A shadow loomed over me and I turned again to see both of them by my side, Matsumoto holding a key in his hand.

"You're lucky Masaki is the nicest person on earth," Matsumoto grunted as he showed me the key. I wondered if he was ever going to speak to me as if I was a person. "I'm going to unchain you. Then you're going to undress so Masaki can check for anything remotely resembling a human bite. Try anything funny and I'll put a bullet in your brain, are we understood?"

I wanted to huff, to spit in his face and tell him to go to hell. Then I actually thought about it. If I took my clothes off they would see the bruises and scars and they would probably have questions. On the other hand, I really didn't want to be left to die chained to this bed.

"Are you a doctor?" I asked Aiba, pointedly ignoring Matsumoto.

"The closest thing you're going to get around here," Aiba chuckled a bit. "I'm a veterinarian. Or was, at least."

"I guess you'll be as long as you have the skills." I tried to shrug nonchalantly, but even that slight movement made me hiss in pain.

"Very charming," Matsumoto said and unlocked the one padlock that apparently held all the chains together.

I wasn't very sure how I had been tied, but Matsumoto seemed to know what he was doing. In half a minute I was free, not that I tried to move. I was ignoring Matsumoto, but I would be a fool if I didn't heed his words. Not taking his eyes from me, Matsumoto took a step back and pulled his gun out of the holster that hung from his hip.

"If you need help..." Aiba said, but I quickly shook my head. It was going to be humiliating enough as it was.

I turned away and, trying to hold in any sounds of pain, I practically ripped my shirt off. It wasn't going to do me any good, seeing it was more rags than clothes by now. A gasp and a click.

"It's not from zombies," I said in frustration.

"I know. Jun, please," Aiba said. No response came, but I was praying that Aiba had gotten him to lower the weapon.

More carefully, the pants went down. Their previous owner had already had to cut the bottom, but the rest of them were still serviceable. I was shorter than she had been, anyway. Slowly, I put my hands up in the air.

"Unless you guys suspect a zombie bit me in the dick..."

"It's okay, I'm going to inspect those wounds," Aiba said quickly and his steps resonated on the empty house.

I gasped when I felt his warm hands softly touching my back. My eyes prickled a bit, but I was determined not to let any tears fall. It was all in the past now, most of those wounds would fade away and all of them would heal with time. And that would be the end of it. Still, a gasp escaped me when Aiba squatted and touched the red lines on my thighs.

"I'm sorry, but, please, turn around."

Reluctantly, I did. Matsumoto was still looking at me as if at any moment I was going to pounce him and try to bite his arm off, but Aiba... there was pity in his eyes. He probably couldn't help it, in the same way that I couldn't help hating him a little for it. Aiba inspected the bruise I had on my stomach and the rest of the cuts on my legs and stepped back.

"We're very sorry to make you go through this. You can dress again," Aiba made sure to say, and I didn't hesitate a second before taking my pants and, with trembling hands, slipping them again up my legs. "He's fine, he wasn't lying."

"And all that?" Matsumoto asked, but he put the pistol back in the holster.

"His own story to tell, baby." There was a hint of reproach in his voice that brought me a smile.

"Then I'm free to go?" I asked, crossing my arms over my stomach. There would probably be some clothes left in this and the other houses and I wasn't picky, I just needed a shirt that covered my torso.

"I suppose," Matsumoto mumbled.

"But, of course, you're welcome to stay with us." Aiba took a step towards me and Matsumoto threw him a look. He didn't seem to agree with his husband at all. "I would suggest you do, at least until you feel better. You're still in no state to go anywhere alone."

I looked at him. I looked at Matsumoto's pissed face. Then back at Aiba's. In the middle of the night, by the light of a single candle, his eyes shone brighter than the full moon could have. I felt a lump in my throat because this could not be happening. I could not have just gotten out of a bad relationship to get a crush on a married man just because he had saved my life.

"I would like that," I said instead. Aiba smiled so brightly that, for a second, it was worth it.

"Just lie back down on the bed. I will go look for something you can wear." Aiba didn't even wait to finish speaking before he bolted up the stairs. I did as I was told, but Matsumoto stood where he was, his cold eyes fixed on mine. Then he clicked his tongue and took the chair by the bed.

"My husband is a kind-hearted man," he said in a low voice, "but don't think you can fool me for a second."

"What were you? A psychologist?" I spat as I squirmed on the bed to find a position where my muscles hurt slightly less.

"A wedding planner," he whispered menacingly. "High-stress situations and duplicitous people are my specialties."

I nodded nonchalantly but didn't move from where I was. Somehow, that information made Matsumoto seem even more dangerous than before.


Chapter 2

The light hit me in the eye. The place was so silent that nothing else could have woken me up. The room was also unfamiliar, small with just a desk, the bed I was lying on and a shelf filled to the brim with comic books. This had probably been a teenager's bedroom once, and I didn't want to wonder what had happened to them. Surely they and their parents had managed to get out of town before it became deserted as it was.

With that thought, memories came back to me. Of course the room was unfamiliar. This was not my group's town but instead a small group of houses far away. I had stumbled into a house, unlucky enough to go straight to what was probably the only house that was occupied. Or not so unlucky. A very handsome man had taken care of me. It had probably been him who had moved me to this bedroom.

My muscles groaned when I stood up, but I felt alive again. I noticed that I was wearing my pants, but I didn't recognize the long black t-shirt. It was warm and comfortable, so I didn't mind it. The door was closed and, for a second, I feared that it had been locked, but knob gave in easily. Outside there was a short hallway and the flight of stairs that took me to the first floor.

I couldn't hear a thing, but it wouldn't be a surprise if that couple had just gone and left me there. Aiba had done for me more than he had to and probably knew that I would feel better when I woke up. Downstairs was the living room where they had brought me the day before and an open door leading to a small kitchen. My rumbling stomach told me what my first move should be.

There was expired food and jars that had been infected by bugs, but also a number of unopened cans. It was a surprise they hadn't taken them, but I wasn't about to complain. I took one that swore to be canned fish and took it with me to the living room.

The sun was bright outside, which meant I would have good visibility today when I resumed my journey. If I did it today. I was sure I could easily gather enough food from the other houses and rest for another day. I took one chair to sit next to the window. Despite everything, it was a beautiful morning.

The sound of the door opening at my back made me nearly drop the can, but my good reflexes saved it. Zombies couldn't open door, at least that I knew. I was greeted by a blue kimono over simple dark clothes and a bright smile.

"I take it you feel better today," Aiba greeted me with one hand. In the other one he held a fabric bag that he dropped on the table in the center of the room. "I've found rice, but don't wait for me. I'm sure you'll have appetite enough for that fish and the rice too."

"I thought you had left," I muttered around a mouthful of fish, turned away so my heart would calm down. So the crush thing hadn't been just a product of the exhaustion, it seemed.

"I wouldn't have left without telling you first," he said, taking a plastic container and a couple of cans out of the bag. "Thank the people that didn't just leave their rice in the paper bag it came in. This is going to last us for a while."

"Do you plan on leaving today?" I asked, picking up another bit of the fish, not daring to look back at him.

"If we can find fuel for the caravan." Aiba's voice came from the kitchen, so I dared a look in his direction. He had turned a gas stove on and put a pot over it. I briefly wondered where he was getting the water to cook. "If not we'll stay the night and leave tomorrow morning, if you are feeling well."

"I feel much better today." I poured the can's liquid into my mouth and walked towards the kitchen. "Can I help you with anything?"

"Are you sure you feel fine? You were in a really bad shape yesterday." Something inside me got warm under his worried eyes. I nodded quickly. "Then stir the rice for me while I check the food I found."

It was relaxing, watching the water start to bubble and making the rice go in circles so it wouldn't stick to the bottom, while in the background I heard the cans clinking against each other and Aiba muttering to himself. After I while I took out a grain with the spoon to taste it.

It surprised me that it actually tasted good. The little rice we had cooked back in my town had often been bland, when it wasn't weird-tasting because of the water. While I turned the stove off, Aiba came back into the kitchen.

"Is it ready?" I nodded again. "Good, let's eat."

Aiba reached into the cabinets and took out a couple of bowls that he cleaned quickly with a rag. I helped him serve a couple of portions and he put the lid over what was left in the pot.

"For Jun, he's gone out really early this morning and will be hungry when he comes back," Aiba said with a smile, leading the way back to the dining room. I followed in silence, but it didn't last long. "So, what are your plans? You aren't thinking about leaving today, are you?"

"I could stay another day. It seems there was enough food left." I shrugged. It didn't feel good or safe to stay in an abandoned place for another night, but I still felt tired. And there was the chance that Aiba would stay another day too.

"You can always come with us," Aiba said nonchalantly, and I turned to him with wide-open eyes. "We have to drive by Tokyo anyway. We could drop you off by a settlement."

"Are you serious?" I put my chopsticks down. Aiba just tilted his head, like a confused puppy.

"Of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

"We just met yesterday."

"You seem like a good guy." He threw me another of his disarming smiles and went back to eating.

"Is it... is it because you pity me?" I stirred in my chair and Aiba looked at me again, chewing slowly. "Because of the wounds you saw?"

"I would be lying if I said those aren't making me want to do something good for you." Aiba put his chopsticks down too and leaned over the table, his intense eyes fixed on me. "But that's not all. I wouldn't want to leave you behind knowing I could have brought you to safety."

"I see," I muttered and went back to eating. It would be a shame to waste this perfectly good rice. I was used to having to use whatever scrap of hope life threw at me. "I would like to go with you. If your husband won't chop my head off, of course."

"Thank goodness," Aiba sighed in relief. "And don't worry about Jun. He's a sweetheart, but can get a little tense under pressure. And it has been a stressful year."

"Tell me about it," —I grunted. Still, I could not imagine Matsumoto being happy about me tagging along with them. But, well, if they had a car it would be just a few hours until Tokyo. Even less if the roads were in good shape. It could be fun to tease him or I could simply ignore him.

We were just finishing our breakfast in comfortable silence when the door opened and Matsumoto came in covered in soot and dirt, and with a wide smile on his face. It was a bit unnerving.

"I've found fuel enough to fill nearly a half of the deposit." He approached the table in long strides and took Aiba's face in his dirty hands to trap his lips in a long kiss. At least it didn't look like he was using tongue, thank you for the consideration. I felt my face getting warmer and got up to take the empty bowls to the sink.

"That's amazing, love. I'm sure we'll find more around the Tokyo area." Aiba sounded excited. "And Nino can help. He's coming with us, you know?"

"You'll never stop picking up stray puppies, will you?" There was a smile in Matsumoto's voice. I wanted to take offense in that, but I couldn't. He was in such high spirits that he looked like a different man from the one that almost killed me the day before. When I went back they were holding hands and smiling.

"So you don't have any issues with me coming with you?" I asked. "You aren't going to keep me handcuffed, are you?"

"We do have a collar and a leash if that would make you happy." Jun grinned at me, while Aiba looked back and forth between us with an amused smile. "But Masaki thinks you can be trusted not to fuck us over, so you're good. You can come with us. Just don't expect us to drive you to the very door of a survival camp."

"Don't listen to him, we will take you to safety." Aiba shoved Jun playfully, before turning to face him. "When can we leave?"

"The caravan is as good as it will ever be," Jun shrugged. "Unless you happen to be a mechanic?"

"I wish," I snorted. Both of them looked at me confused, but I was sincere. Things would have been so much better for me if I had had honest work like that. "Do you really want to listen to the full story?"

"You don't have to," Aiba reassured me.

"But you can give us the short version," Jun said, pinning me with his intense eyes. "It wouldn't hurt if you shared a bit about yourself, seeing as we're going to spend time together on the road."

"I..." He was right. In the end, they had saved my life and I was a perfect stranger. I could skip the more unsavory parts. "I used to be a host. You know, easy money in great amounts. When I moved in with... with that guy, I quit and took care of the house. So I don't have many useful skills."

"Don't say that." Aiba rushed to take one of my hands in his own. "I may not know you, but I can tell your life hasn't been easy. And then the apocalypse came and you're still here. Only a strong and resourceful person would survive all that."

"Aiba-san..."

"Masaki is okay." And then he smiled, brighter than the sun. I didn't think I would ever be able to see that smile without my heart racing like crazy, even if by some miracle I spent a hundred years by his side.

"You're coddling him," Matsumoto grunted, putting a hand on Masaki's shoulder, but, to my surprise, he was smiling. "I don't want to hear you call me anything but Matsumoto. Masaki has a weakness for lost puppies, but I don't."

"You like dogs just as much as I do, Jun," Masaki laughed, "you're just used to them not liking you."

"Maybe you two could stop talking about me as if I was a dog, especially when I'm right here," I grunted, looking between the both of them. Masaki had the decency to blush, but Matsumoto took my eyes in his and held my glare, completely unimpressed.

"I think we should spend the day here, gather as much food as we can, and leave tomorrow early in the morning," Matsumoto said without even blinking. I could swear he was challenging me to go back to the previous topic. Of course I wouldn't, not in front of Masaki who was already standing up and showing Matsumoto the food he had found that morning. The bastard smirked before going with his husband and starting to take note of what they had.

* * *

As expected, no matter how much better I felt in the morning, I grew tired very quickly and had to lie down for a nap several times. If not for this couple and their car, I would probably have had to wait at least another day before continuing my journey to the north. I wouldn't recommend taking a nap in the middle of the road with zombies lurking in the forest, waiting for such easy prey.

I did leave the house, though. It was not fair for them to be going around the place, searching every nook and cranny of each house while I slept. After lunch, Masaki allowed me to accompany him. I had insisted on going alone, that I would be careful, but I didn't put up much of a fight.

"So..." I said, trying to make some kind of conversation. I wanted to learn as much about this man as I could in the brief time we were going to spend together. "how did you two meet?"

Masaki grew such a fond smile that it hurt just being in its vicinity. He was absolutely gorgeous under the sun that came through the window, with a couple of his chin-length hairs falling in his face.

"His dog was very sick and I saved him," Masaki said. "We didn't date immediately. We circled around each other for the longest time. He didn't want to be the creep who asked his veterinarian out and I didn't want to be the creep who asked his client out. In the end, we did it."

"So he really likes dogs, like, for real." Very smart remark Kazunari, I thought.

"And dogs hate him," Masaki laughed. "Apparently, this one was the only one in the dog shelter that didn't want to run away or bite his head off. The ugliest mutt I've ever seen. We miss him a lot."

I just nodded, because I didn't know what to say. I had had a dog when I was a child, but it died when I was still very young and could barely remember anything. Since then, I don't remember having any particular interest in keeping a pet. Masaki closed the last drawer in the kitchen and turned to leave, his bag heavy in his hand.

"I think we have enough food for at least five days. For the three of us," he said this remark in passing, already walking in front of me so I couldn't see his face. There was something in his voice I could not decipher. "By the way, we weren't just talking about pets before."

And he continued walking without waiting for an answer, chatting away about how he was going to miss rice on the road since they could not count on having a reliable source of clean water. Or something like that. To be honest, my head was just repeating his last words over and over, trying to find their goal. A goal that didn't include me in a collar at the mercy of those big hands, because that was surely too much to ask for.

* * *

It had been hours since the sun had set, and yet, I couldn't close my eyes. As soon as it had become dark outside, we had barricaded the doors downstairs and moved to what had been a small office upstairs. Matsumoto seemed to be in a good mood now that they had the fuel to drive at least to Tokyo and, above all, didn't have to abandon the only vehicle they had managed to steal.

He pulled out a small bottle of sake that didn't smell too weird and we drank and talked until the candle went out by itself. Between knowing smiles and giggles, they had said "good night" and gone to the master bedroom, while I returned to the small one on my own.

It had not been long before the sound of moans and whispers came in. The bedrooms were right next to each other and the walls were pretty thin. When the original family lived here, it had to have been a nightmare both for the parents and the child. Now it was torture to me.

Logically, I knew that the fact that I was on the other side of the wall meant nothing to them. This was their last night sleeping in a real bed for who knows how long, so it was reasonable that they wanted to make the best of it. In my mind, I knew they were neither taunting nor luring me. And yet, I wanted nothing more than to stand up and go there.

I could see the images clear in my mind. Their sweaty bodies flush against each other, their lustful eyes looking at me standing by their door. Masaki's hand extended towards me, leading me between them. His generous lips on mine, Matsumoto's hands tracing my body, firmly but gently. Because, of course, even then he would not let me call him Jun.

It was very likely that I would have trouble looking them in the eye the next morning, but right then and there, the sunrise still seemed too distant to worry about it. I let my imagination and the very real sounds guide me. My hand was not my own, it was Matsumoto's at times, Masaki's at others. The moans were not in the other room, but right in my ear.

They grew silent way before I did, so they probably heard me. Good. Then I would not be the only one embarrassed the next morning.


Chapter 3

Plainly put, the caravan was a piece of shit, but it was a piece of shit that Matsumoto and Masaki could jump start with only the knowledge from vague memories of looking through the internet for fun.

"We found it abandoned and I think the people who owned it didn't even use it anymore before the apocalypse," Masaki explained while they were loading the food and clothes they would be taking with them in the cupboards. "But it runs and it is big enough for us to put in a futon. We've already had to sleep in it once in the middle of nowhere."

"Are the roads that bad? You can't have left that long ago, right?" I asked, putting down the clothes I had been going through and turning to give Masaki my full attention. I couldn't advance much each day, still pretty hurt and walking without much to eat or drink, but I remember the time when going from Chiba to Tokyo by car was a matter of a couple of hours.

"No one has been cleaning them for a year. And people have blocked a lot of them, for some reason." Masaki shrugged, his face turning a bit sad. "We only have each other in this, but people still stick to their own group and look at the rest with mistrust."

"Yeah, it worked wonders for me." I made a bitter smile while turning to keep rummaging between the clothes. I didn't have much interest in clothes, but could use some fingerless gloves and new boots. In silence, Masaki put the rest of the cans in the cupboard and closed it. Before I knew it, he was kneeling by my side with a hand over mine.

"I know we've just met and that it's none of my business," Masaki squeezed my hand and my heart skipped a beat, "but if you want to talk about it, I'm here. It's hard to keep all the pain inside."

"I'm fine." The words left my mouth before I could even process what was happening. Masaki's face grew sadder. "Okay, I'm not, but I'll be. I guess. I just need a place where no one beats the shit out of me and I'll be fine."

"Your family will take care of you, I'm sure." Masaki smiled at me and reached to kiss my cheek before starting to help me with the clothes.

I stared confused for a few seconds, both because of the kiss and the mention of a family that I hadn't seen in decades. Then I remembered my excuse and turned back to my duty. There was a weight in my stomach and I regretted lying to him now. Not to Matsumoto, the bastard had had me at gunpoint. But now they would leave me in Tokyo and continue their journey and I still would have nowhere I belonged.

* * *

After packing everything and checking time and again that they would have everything they needed to continue their journey, Matsumoto crawled under the steering wheel and started the car. The initial plan was that Matsumoto would drive until we were near Tokyo, then Masaki would take the wheel until the first settlement we saw.

I settled into the makeshift sofa in the back to rest for a while, still feeling the consequences of my wounds and exhaustion. For about half an hour, I could only hear the noisy engine and the lull of their conversation in the front. I couldn't understand any words, but hearing their voices a meter from me was enough to make me feel safe for the first time in years.

In the end, I got tired of lying down so I sat up to look at the landscape. It had been just a year since civilization as we knew it had ended, but nature had already reclaimed so much. We were driving past a couple of buildings that were covered in ivy when I felt a weight beside me.

Sure enough, there was Masaki, smiling at me. I found myself smiling back, still not understanding how someone as cheerful as him could have taken a liking to someone like me.

"Do you have any idea what area your family could be in?" Masaki asked and, suddenly, I wanted nothing more than to bash my head against the wall. His face grew worried, so something had to be showing in mine. "Don't worry, we won't leave you alone until we find something. Just... where did they live?"

"Katsushika," I said. It was where I had been born, where the last happy memories of my childhood lay.

"Really? We're really close, then." Masaki looked excited about it and the weight in my stomach grew even heavier. "Just... be prepared for the place to be, well... you know."

"I know, don't worry." I tried my best to smile at him, but I suspect I didn't do a good job. I was racking my brain for something else to say, but then something yanked me forward, directly into Masaki's chest. Followed immediately by very loud and colorful cursing.

"Are you okay?" Masaki was holding me in his arms and I looked up with my face burning. He was so close.

"Fucking humans, I swear! What do they have to win with this?!" Matsumoto's shouts took us both out of the moment and, as one, we stood up and went to the driver's cabin. Whoever had blocked the road really didn't want anyone to get to the other side. Not only had they piled junk across the road and all the way to the forest on both sides, but they also had consolidated the whole thing with what looked like cement. There was no way we would get to the other side through here.

"It's okay," Masaki said, not sounding even the least bit bothered by this setback. He put a hand on Matsumoto's shoulder and squeezed. "I'll continue from here, you go rest in the back."

"We'll have to turn back and retrace our steps. I don't even know where we can take other road that will take us north," Matsumoto sighed, still not moving.

"We'll drive through the fields if we have to."

"Will the car be able to take it?"

"If we drive slowly enough, it will."

"Great," Matsumoto grumbled, but he stood up and, with a quick peck, yielded the driver's seat to Masaki. I found myself standing awkwardly by his side.

"Will we really be okay?" I asked him in a whisper.

"It's not the first setback we've had." He smiled at me reassuringly. "You'll just have to put up with us a little longer, that's all. I'll take you to your family, that's a promise."

Even though I knew that he was probably putting on a strong face for our sake and even though I knew there was no family waiting for me, I couldn't help feeling relieved by his words. I didn't want to be in the back alone with Matsumoto, but the urge to kiss Masaki I felt was so big that I thanked him and stormed back to the sofa.

Judging by the way Matsumoto was fuming, this had to mean a serious delay in their journey. Still, I felt happy that I would get to spend a bit more time with them.

* * *

We only stopped once to eat and a couple more times to change drivers. I had offered to drive to, but, as I had expected, Matsumoto wouldn't let me near the steering wheel. When the first stars started to glow in the sky, we stopped completely for the night. Masaki showed me how to close the door so no one could get in and how I could go outside to pee safely. It implied having to go with either him or Matsumoto, but I preferred that to being remembered as the guy who died by being eaten by a zombie while taking a leak.

Back in my settlement, we had dinner as soon as we saw the first stars and went to sleep by the time it was too dark to see. No one would think about spending candles to scratch a few more hours out of the day. It surprised me that Matsumoto and Masaki would instead drive for as long as they could make out the terrain, and they only stopped when crashing into a tree in the darkness became more likely than staying clear of the forest.

They didn't want to use the car's battery more than they had to, so they drove without the lights on and didn't usually use the warm water deposit. Luckily, the tiny kitchen was gas operated, so Matsumoto and I blocked the doors while the delicious smell of real food filled our nostrils.

"It's not cold outside, is it?" Masaki asked, turning the fire off and putting a lid on the pot.

"It wasn't before at least," Matsumoto answered with a knowing smile. I looked at them, confusion written all over my face, but Matsumoto clapped my shoulder and gestured for me to follow. Not that he could go that far away; you could walk from one side of the caravan to the other in three strides. Two if you happened to be Mr. Aiba "long legs" Masaki.

Matsumoto jumped to take a handle from the ceiling and Masaki handed me three pairs of chopsticks. By the time I turned around, Matsumoto had taken a ladder down and was halfway climbing it to the roof.

"Is it safe?" I asked, playing a bit nervously with the chopsticks. Masaki smiled at me reassuringly.

"We've done it before and we haven't seen a single zombie that can climb up there."

That had to be enough for me, but I couldn't help feeling a bit apprehensive. After all, he hadn't told me that none of those creatures would come, just that they would not be able to reach us. I didn't look forward to being a meter from them without a wall to protect me.

Masaki passed the pot carefully to Matsumoto before climbing up himself. Since it seemed that I didn't have any other choice and really didn't want to impose myself on them, I took a breath, handed the chopsticks to Masaki and climbed up.

Matsumoto was using rocks to hold down a blanket he had brought up and Masaki held his hand out to help me get onto the roof. I didn't need it, but of course I took it. We sat around the pot and delicious smelling smoke rose into the air when Masaki took the lid off.

"After another day holed up inside this moving can of ours, let's share this humble meal," Masaki said with a bit of a laugh of joy after distributing the chopsticks. I hadn't eaten much through the day, only a few snacks here and there when they ate. Still, I hadn't felt how hungry I was until I fished out what looked like a chunk of spam and it practically melted into my mouth.

"This is delicious! How did you make this?" I couldn't help exclaiming. I was sure they had only taken canned food, the only edible food that one could find in a place that had probably been abandoned for a year now.

"It's nothing special. We just were lucky enough to find some seasoning a few days ago that didn't have bugs," Masaki said, a proud smile on his face in spite of his words. Matsumoto laughed.

"You don't have to be humble, baby. He was going to inherit his parents' restaurant." Matsumoto turned to talk to me. "In the end, his passion came first, which I'm thankful for."

"So you were trained as a cook, then?" I asked, a bit surprised even if I didn't know why. Matsumoto was lovingly squeezing Masaki's knee, while he smiled and looked down.

"I didn't go to school or anything, but my father used to teach me on the weekends and when I helped in the kitchen."

"And he became an amazing cook." Matsumoto was looking at Masaki so fondly, with such pride, that I thought my reaction would be bursting of jealousy. Instead, I myself felt proud of this man I had met a day before and happy that he had someone who cherished him as much. "Well, at least when he doesn't forget to put the salt in."

"That only happened one time!" Masaki complained and slapped Matsumoto's hand playfully.

"Yes, but it happened when my senpai was visiting," Matsumoto laughed out loud. It suited him more than the terrifying face he usually wore around me. Suddenly, he turned a bit more serious and moved to face me. "It's him we're looking for. In Kyoto."

"Why are you going all the way there?" I asked. I had been curious since I had heard their conversation when I wasn't completely conscious. I had thought it had been a trick of my mind, but this confirmed it.

"He and another friend of ours are scientists. They were visiting Kyoto University when the big cities started the quarantine because of the plague." Matsumoto's expression grew darker. "We thought they had died. If Tokyo had been a slaughterhouse, why would Kyoto have fared any better?"

"But we received a transmission last week." Masaki took Matsumoto's hand in his. "From them. They managed to make the radio work long enough to tell us that they were alive and working on something that would stop the virus from spreading."

"It wasn't directed at us, of course, but to anyone who could listen. They needed any other person who could collaborate to go with them." Matsumoto was not smiling anymore, but there was a shine of hope in his eyes that I couldn't miss. "Someone in our settlement had been taking in "inactive specimens" and studying them with only the equipment of the local medical clinic. She had discovered some things, but she didn't have the means to actually do anything with that data."

"She painstakingly took notes of everything and took samples that could be of use." Masaki was smiling brightly, pride written all over his face. "And we offered to take it to Kyoto ourselves, so the town didn't lose their only doctor."

"Which is why we have to get there as soon as we can."

I nodded absentmindedly but didn't say a word. What could I say? These guys that had taken me in and cared for me were on a mission to save the world. I was a bit ashamed at the thought that I had probably been a stone in their way. In silence, we finished the meal down to the last bite.

I helped to put it away, but instead of going directly back down, Masaki laid on top of the blanket and Matsumoto by his side, his head on Masaki's shoulder. I tried to say something, but no words came. When I turned to crawl toward the hatch, Masaki held his hand toward me.

"The sky is beautiful tonight," he said. "And we don't often get the time to spend quietly looking at such a beautiful sight."

Indeed, I thought. They both looked gorgeous under the light of the moon. I should have given them an excuse or told them that, precisely because they didn't get these quiet moments very often, they should enjoy them with each other.

One of the few things that I had remaining from my mother was her diary from when I was a child. In there, she described me as a little trickster who was always pulling pranks on people, but also as a very generous and kind child. I didn't doubt her word, but since I had wound up in the orphanage I had been described as nothing but selfish. And so, I took the selfish choice and lay on Masaki's side, letting him pull me closer with his arm around my waist, letting my head rest against his shoulder. Like Matsumoto did. As if I had the right to it like he did.


Chapter 4

After the cuddles we shared last night, I tried to convince them and myself that it would be better if I slept in the cabin. Not even Matsumoto would have any of it, so, in the end, I slept in the narrow space between Masaki and the small sofa. The space would have been small even for just the two of them, which made it inevitable that my body was flush against Masaki's. Needless to say, it took me a while to fall asleep.

After all that, I made a decision: even if they would leave me in the Tokyo area, I had to tell them the truth. My heart hurt thinking that I had not received such kindness from anyone for such a long time. My ex had treated me with love for the first couple of years we knew each other, but after he made me quit my job I had been on my own. These men, complete strangers, not only treated me like a person; they treated me like a friend.

Even if I was determined, it wasn't easy. I didn't say a word during breakfast and let Masaki chatter away while Matsumoto drove through a dirt path. After an hour or two, Matsumoto called us to the cabin.

"Look! We'll be in Tokyo in three, two, one..." Both he and Masaki hooted excitedly, but I could barely bring myself to smile. "We're going to take that road over there; it looks decent enough. It should take us eastward."

"We're almost there, Nino." Masaki put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me against himself in a tight hug. "I'm going to miss you, but it's where you have to be. With the people who care about you."

I gulped loudly and, slowly, pushed Masaki away from me. I could see Matsumoto throwing me short glances and Masaki looking worriedly at me. I looked away at the road and took a deep breath.

"Do I have to stop the car?" Matsumoto asked before I could say a single word. I considered it for a second and nodded. It would be better if I had their whole attention. We came to a stop in the middle of the dirt road and we went back to the living space of the caravan.

"I lied to you." Immediately, Matsumoto's hand went to his holster. "Not about that, you saw for yourselves that I have no bite marks. It's about my family..."

"It's okay, you can tell us," Masaki encouraged me, and I looked at him with surprise. By his reassuring smile I could almost feel that he knew what I was going to tell them. Matsumoto, on the other hand, looked at me with a frown, his hand on his hip not far away from his gun.

"I don't have one," I laughed bitterly and shook my head. "I don't have any reason to be anywhere. When you found me I was just trying to find a settlement that would take me in. I had already been denied at gunpoint by another two and I didn't want you to believe I was just wandering around. Wandering is dangerous."

"Damn right it is," Matsumoto muttered.

"I didn't think you would have let me stay in the abandoned town if I had told you the truth." Feeling a little braver for no reason at all, I held my head up and looked directly into Matsumoto's eyes. "I would have died."

"You made us lose a day in that town," Matsumoto said in a low, but dangerous tone. He took a step towards me and we were mere centimeters apart. "Our mission is more important than..."

"Jun!" Masaki stood up suddenly and took Matsumoto's arm in his, pulling him away from me. "Don't say something you'll regret later."

"Will I?" He huffed and turned back toward the cabin. "You're lucky we're not monsters, because I should kick you out right here. We'll drive you to the main road. After that, you're on your own."

And he slammed the door closed. If the caravan started to drive a little faster than it did before, I didn't want to think about it. I just stood there until Masaki gently directed me to the small sofa. His hand never left the lower part of my back, rubbing it in circles.

"Aren't you angry at me?" I asked in a low voice, because, deep down, I wanted him to be.

"There's nothing Jun hates more than being deceived, but he'll get over it," Masaki said in such a calm voice that I had no choice but to believe him. "We live in a difficult world. Each of us must do what we can to survive. You didn't put us in danger, so there's really nothing to be angry about."

"You're too good for your own good," I chuckled. "I lied about my family. Who knows what else could I be lying about?"

"Are you?"

"No." At last, I smiled.

"Do you want to tell about your childhood?" Masaki asked, gently pulling me closer against him. "Were you really born in Katsushika?"

"Yes. I lived my whole childhood there with my mom and my sister." For the first time, the words started to leave my mouth without stopping, and there was someone truly interested in listening to them. "I was nine when they died. An accident, nobody's fault."

"I'm sorry." Masaki squeezed my arm briefly.

"I had no other close family, no one would take care of me." I wanted to shrug it off, but instead a shiver overcame my whole body. "The rest is simple: I went to an orphanage, then from one foster home to the next. Even if someone had been willing to adopt a skittish kid like me, I was too old. Everybody wants a baby."

"So you were all alone?" Masaki looked at me as if he couldn't believe someone could be left in such a desperate situation.

"My foster parents weren't usually terrible, they just didn't care much about us or what we did as long as it didn't bring trouble." I shrugged. "We usually were four or five kids per house. When I became old enough to get a job I left the house. I worked part-time jobs for a while, but then someone told me I could make it as a host and I believed them. It was good money, that's for sure."

"Not an easy job, I suppose."

"I could get by. I can be very charming when I have to."

"I don't doubt that," Masaki chuckled and squeezed my shoulder again. "I'll talk with Jun, don't worry. He's not as heartless as he seems. Just a little jagged."

"I..." I gulped. It was unfair to Masaki, but the feelings were clumping in my heart and I needed to let it out, together with the lie I had told them. "It's okay if you just take me to a settlement, but... if possible, I would want to..."

"I want you to come with us, too." Masaki turned to face me. "I was actually feeling a bit down about you having to leave soon. I've grown pretty fond of you."

"We've only known each other barely two days," I laughed quietly, but, suddenly, I found myself enveloped in Masaki's arm in a tight embrace. He was trembling. "Hey, are you okay?"

"Yes, sorry." His voice was just a squeak and I started feeling something wet against my shoulder.

"Don't tell me you're a crybaby," I sighed, but put my arms around him and held him tight against me, caressing his hair slowly. It was so soft. "Even if we have to part ways, I'll be fine. I'm a survivor."

Even I couldn't believe in my words, but figured they could work for Masaki. Instead of getting lighter, the pressure in my chest grew even heavier.

I hadn't done anything to deserve the affection Masaki was showing me. And yet, there he was, crying all the tears I couldn't. He didn't say it out loud, but I could without a doubt imagine that he was both crying for the possibility of us having to go separate ways and for my lonely past. Without realizing it, I started crying too.

* * *

In the end, we reached the main road, but Matsumoto kept on driving. Both Masaki and I were sitting in silence side by side on the couch, our shoulders touching. I could feel Masaki moving nervously next to me, but I said nothing.

Unexpectedly, instead of continuing through the main road, the car took an exit that led us to a small town. It was just the first. The closer we got to Tokyo there would be more and more until it just became an expanse of buildings as far as the eye could see.

The car stopped right by the first building that in its time seemed to have been a ramen shop. Masaki looked at me, but I was looking straight ahead.

"I'll talk with him," he promised one last time and then Matsumoto entered the room.

"You're not going to make me kick you out, are you?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Jun," Masaki said firmly and walked to him.

"I know, but he gets out first." Matsumoto's expression grew slightly softer, which gave me much more hope than it should have. Unfortunately, when he turned towards me his eyes were as cold as ever. "Go see if you can find any food; at least do something useful."

"Jun!" For the first time, Masaki sounded anything near angry. I had only seen him smiling, either out of happiness of compassion. It was clear that Matsumoto was playing with his limits. I didn't want to be another second longer in that tense atmosphere; all that tension always made me angry and that was the last thing we all needed.

"I'll go see if I can find any good shelter, too," I muttered, taking my bag and leaving the car. As I walked away, I had to bite my lip. I didn't consider myself a crybaby, but there were so many things adding to the situation. Barely seeing where I was going, I entered one of the buildings in the outskirts and closed the door.

Tears started to pour down my face and a primitive growl wanted to come out of my throat, but I managed to contain it to a frustrated exhalation. At this point, it would have been better if I had never come with them. They should have cured me and left me to my own devices.

My wounds would have healed and, honestly, I had only needed a bit of rest. It was the apocalypse, for crying out loud, everybody had their own little secrets. Just as Masaki had said, it was not like I had put them in danger. But that fucking Matsumoto... I punched the wall. Hard.

I heard a low growl, but I couldn't be sure if it was coming from my chest or from somewhere else. Quickly, I rubbed my tears away and got to my feet, looking around in the semidarkness. This seemed to have been some kind of clinic and there were curtains on the windows that filtered most of the sunlight away.

There was something dragging on the floor, something soft and, oh, what I wouldn't give for a gun in that second. The time it took me to turn around and open the door felt like an eternity when the growls and moans sounded closer and closer.

I took a quick glimpse over my shoulder: there it was. It was just one, but the monster stood on its two feet. The dragging noise I had heard was part of his leg that seemed to have been cut, hanging from its knee. Nausea inundated me and, for a second, I was frozen. Then I turned around and ran with all my strength, adrenaline pumping so strong in my veins that I didn't even feel the pain in my legs.

Even though only my most basic instincts were active then, even that small part of my brain knew that if there was a zombie in one of the houses, they would probably be more in the rest of the town. I had to go back to the caravan. I had a better chance facing Matsumoto and his gun than a horde of monsters.

As I ran I heard a quick pat pat on the ground behind me and I chanced another glance. I regretted it immediately. During this last year, most of the zombies I had seen crawled slowly through the ground. Most of them had broken their legs running away or had them eaten by other monsters. This damn thing was running and it was fast.

"Help!" I cried with the little air that was left in my lungs. If there were more zombies around, they would come, but it was my only chance. I would barely reach the caravan before the monster caught me, and I wouldn't be able to wait for them to open the door.

What happened next, happened too quickly for me to comprehend. First, I saw Masaki's scared face in the window. The door didn't open; my eyes were focused on it, but it didn't open. I was lost. Then, I heard the loudest sound I could imagine, a guttural shout and something heavy hitting the ground. I didn't stop running, but out of nowhere another figure started to run towards me and caught me in his arms before I could even comprehend his presence.

"You bastard," he said against my ear in a ragged voice. "Masaki would have never forgiven me if you died after I kicked you out."

"Matsumo..."

"I would have never forgiven myself." Matsumoto's voice was pregnant with feeling. I lifted my eyes in time to see how he framed my face in his hands and leaned in to kiss me. It was just a quick pressing of our lips, his arms strangling me with their strength, and then it was over. He took my hand and dragged me back into the caravan, closed and secured the door behind us, and went back to the driver's cabin without looking back.

I was out of breath, adrenaline still pumping after such a close encounter, and barely noticed Masaki taking me in his arms, hunkered down so he was sobbing against my chest. I bit my lip and slowly caressed his hair.

"I'm sorry," I said, talking as if I had a cloud both inside my brain and inside my mouth. It was the only thing I could think of saying.

"No, no," Masaki whined and shook his head. "I should've... I had to... how could we leave you alone...?"

And then it hit me. If I hadn't run fast enough, if Matsumoto hadn't been there with his gun... my knees gave up on me and I ended up kneeling against Masaki, covering my mouth with both hands. Masaki just held me against himself, still crying while his hands moved up and down my back.

* * *

Neither of us really felt the passage of time until the car came to a sudden stop. We were just kneeling on the floor, holding onto each other, like two kids lost in the middle of nowhere. The next thing I felt was Matsumoto's arms around me, his forehead coming to rest on my nape.

"I'm sorry," he said, a bit reluctantly, but everything told me it was a sincere apology. "I let my... my past take hold of me. I shouldn't have. And I certainly shouldn't have sent you out alone."

I nodded, no words coming to me. And, what's more, I surely hadn't forgiven him yet, not when his hangups had nearly killed me. But I wasn't going to antagonize him either; after all, he had also saved my life.

The three of us untangled enough to be able to sit in a circle, still close enough that our legs were touching. Matsumoto's hand came to rest on my cheek, slowly feeling the shape of my face, a finger coming to rest on my bottom lip. I couldn't lie, it felt good, but I still had at least half of a conscience. I turned to look at Masaki.

"It's more than okay," Masaki said, smiling at me with trembling lips, "if you want it too."

"Are you okay with your husband kissing me?" I huffed out a bitter laugh, but Masaki gathered my shoulders in his arm and pushed his forehead against mine.

"I've been looking at you since the first time we talked. He took a bit longer," Masaki said and reached to kiss my cheek. As if it was a sign, Matsumoto leaned in and took my chin in his other hand, making me look him in the eye.

"I thought you were cute since day one, too," Matsumoto complained. "I just wanted to be sure that you would not put us in danger."

"You two are married," I said weakly. It was not easy to be calm when I was surrounded by two very attractive men, one of whom I had been crushing on for the last couple of days. And all just after a near-death experience. After everything that had happened through the day, I could feel the adrenaline running high in all of us.

"We've had other partners before," Masaki explained, smiling patiently at me, but his eyes had a dark hue to them that revealed where his thoughts really were.

"I..." bit my lip. Full disclosure: did I want to sleep with them? Yes, a thousand times yes. Was I afraid of what I was getting into? Absolutely. Immediately, both of them backed off and sat at the small distance the place allowed.

"It's just an idea," Matsumoto shrugged. "An offer, only if you want it."

"Of course, you can travel with us for as long as you want to." Masaki reached to take my hand in his, but hesitated midway.

"For as long as you behave," Matsumoto added.

"And it won't be weird between us, I promise," Masaki said quickly. "You can sleep with us... I mean, sleep by our side like last night. The cabin is not really a comfortable place to sleep."

"I," I said, biting my lip stronger, "really need to think about it."

Masaki's face illuminated but didn't move from where he was. Matsumoto just nodded at me, reached out to squeeze my shoulder and went back to the driver's seat. The engine started again and, after a few seconds of bumpy dirt, we were back on the road.


Chapter 5

By the time we stopped the caravan, we were practically at the foot of the mountain. We could have gotten right into it, but they decided it would be too risky to be in the middle of the mountain in the darkness. It wouldn't make much difference, I thought, but if it made them feel better I wasn't going to complain. After all, they were the ones who had taken us to Saitama.

It had been rough, watching what once was a densely populated area turn into broken buildings and become infested by those monsters. We ate dinner in silence, our gloomy faces making clear that we were all thinking the same. That night we didn't go up to the roof. It didn't matter that we had been holed up inside the whole day.

We were parked in the middle of a field, surrounded on one side by a small town and on the other by the big expanse of the city. We weren't sure how far from their usual hunting grounds those creatures would venture, but I, for one, didn't feel like risking seeing one of them again today. The other two also didn't seem to be in the mood.

Instead, I was kneeling on the couch looking at the stars from the window. We hadn't turned on any lights or candles inside the van to be as unnoticeable as possible. It was both beautiful to watch the stars in the darkness and scary.

"We're going to have to make a detour, maybe," Matsumoto said out of nowhere. "We don't have much gas left and I wouldn't want to have to walk around on the mountains."

"There will be small villages on our way," Masaki muttered and I heard him open a drawer and take something out of it. I took a glance and saw him lay out a paper map on the floor. "Do you think we can make it to Nagano? There is bound to be some gas station that has something left that we can use."

"I don't think so..." Matsumoto touched his ear briefly, his eyes trained on the map. "Let's go here. If we find enough gas in this station, we can follow this route. If there is nothing, we are still on time to turn north here."

Both of them nodded and Masaki made a couple of circles with a pencil on the map before putting it away again. Matsumoto looked at me staring at them and arched an eyebrow.

"And you've only been doing this for a week?" I asked.

"It's been a long week," Matsumoto said, getting to his feet and standing next to me, looking out of the window. "And this man used to take me out camping way more often that I liked."

"You always complained about the bugs and your hair, but in the end we always had fun, didn't we?" Masaki chose to settle beside me, his arm perched on the back of the couch, mere centimetres away from my shoulders. With his other hand, he retrieved some paper from one of his pockets. "Here, look."

I took it very carefully. It was a picture, something that before the plague was becoming more of a rarity by the day and that now were one of the few things where the memories of our past could still live.

In it, Masaki and Matsumoto looked smiling at the camera, each with a mojito in hand. Their hair was shorter, professionally cut, and their skin looked almost perfect. They had their heads together for the picture and in their eyes there was only happiness. Not a care in the world. I gave it back.

I probably had had some picture like that too, but there was no way I had looked like that. Even if I was smiling, there surely would be something that gave away that I was only doing as I was told. That even if I had tried to convince myself that I was happy, no effortless joy would show in my eyes. Masaki's arm gathered me against his chest, something I was growing quickly used to and fond of, and kissed the top of my head.

"It would be so good to find one of those little polaroid cameras, right?" Masaki said. "I would love to have a picture with you."

"I would look like a weird bug by your side," I huffed. "You two look like models."

"Masaki did model to pay for university, right?" Matsumoto joined Masaki's side and poked his cheek playfully.

"It was good money and I didn't have to do much. It was fun, too."

"It's a shame I lost that magazine..." Matsumoto sighed and caught my eyes before saying, "He modeled for this underwear brand. It was very sexy."

"Jun!" Masaki laughed and slapped Matsumoto's knee. To my own surprise, I laughed too. And, as we three laughed together, I felt a huge weight getting lifted from me.

That night, they let me get in the middle of the futon, asked me if I was okay sleeping in the middle. I said yes. After what had happened, I had expected to have nightmares all night and I was ready to quietly slip away and sleep in the cabin if that happened. I didn't. It was absurd, but there, between Masaki and Matsumoto, I felt like nothing could hurt me.

* * *

"There's a gas station there!" Masaki called from the cabin. We hadn't been driving long and Matsumoto had been killing time trying to teach me how to disassemble and reassemble the gun to clean it. Had even promised to teach me how to shoot if I was a good boy. I had complained loudly about him treating me like a dog again, but there was no real heat behind it. I had been trying to remember what the piece I was holding in my hand even was when Masaki called us.

"Leave it on the floor and don't touch it," Matsumoto instructed me before rushing into the cabin. I huffed, but left it on the floor. It was not the magazine, that was for sure, and not the barrel. I stood up frustrated and went to stick my head in the cabin to see what they were talking about.

"I don't like this, Masaki," Matsumoto was saying in a low voice. "Look at that building. There could be anything in there."

"We're not going to be able to go much farther like this. We can stand guard," Masaki insisted, "and... Nino!"

"I'm right here."

"Ah! Didn't hear you coming." Masaki took one hand from the wheel to point at a gas station that stood a little farther down the road, unfortunately joined to what looked like a bar. "Do you think you can look for gas in there?"

"Mmm..." I considered. The idea felt awful, but he was also right. We needed gas and we needed it as soon as possible before we became stranded in the middle of nowhere.

"Masaki and I will be by your side with guns," Matsumoto assured me. "But if it's too much, we can turn north and look for a better place."

"I'm not made of glass. I've survived this bullshit the same time as you two," I grunted. "I'll do it."

"We'll keep you safe," Masaki said with a smile. "And give you a knife."

"What?"

"He doesn't need a knife." Matsumoto looked at me with a crooked smile. "It's more likely that you'll cut your hand with it than stick it in a zombie's brain."

"I know how to bite." I turned to face him and showed him my teeth in a grimace. He just laughed, clapped my shoulder and took my wrist to pull me back toward the couch.

"Okay, puppy, I'll give you some good teeth then," he said as he was sitting me down, before sticking his hand in one of the pockets of his leather pants and taking something out. It looked like a brass knuckles and had a nice weight to it. The thing that was different from the ones I've seen in the camp was that, right in the middle, it had a skull.

"Am I supposed to punch the monsters to death?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. Without a word, he reached and pushed the skull's face in. With a click, a long and sharp thorn came out.

"This is what you put inside those monster's heads."

I fit it on my fingers and looked at it with wonder. I had never had a weapon before, had always had to rely on other people to protect me. The weight of the metal and the soft leather against my fingers felt different; it felt powerful. As I looked at the spike, Matsumoto took my hand between his and pushed the button again, making it retreat inside the skull.

"You won't have to use it, because anything that comes near will get a bullet right in the brain," he said, still holding my hand. "But if you have to, you hit them here," he turned around and pointed at the base of his neck, "and rip everything you can. You want to cut the connection of the brain with the rest of the body."

"Understood," I nodded, still looking at the golden metal and Matsumoto's hands.

"You two get ready, we're almost there!" Masaki called from the cabin.

"I wished we had time to train you, even just a bit," he sighed.

"No sense in wishing. It's the apocalypse and we're survivors." I shrugged. "We have to make do with what we have."

* * *

Our mission was pretty straightforward. They told me exactly what kind of container I should be looking for in case the stands were already empty. If luck was with us I would fill our containers on the stands while they flanked me with their guns at the ready.

Before getting out, Masaki handed me some knee-high leather boots. In case of crawlers, he said. I had to take a deep, deep breath before putting a foot outside the van. Since the incident, I had only gone outside to relieve myself and, honestly, I would have used a bottle to do it inside if I had been able to.

The sun was high in the sky and its warmth should have felt good as it touched my face. It didn't, but I hadn't been much of an outdoor person even before the plague started. Squinting my eyes to get used to the light, I followed Matsumoto and Masaki through the few meters that separated us from the stand.

It had been a small gas station, so it wouldn't take us much time to go through it. Two of the stands were completely empty, but I managed to fill half a container with the other two. It would not be enough.

"Remember, we can go back," Masaki said in a low voice as we turned to the small shop. I shook my head. We were already out, might as well try everything to get the gas we needed.

"I'll go first and scan the interior," Matsumoto said in a tense voice. Both of us nodded and he opened the door as silently as he could, while Masaki kept his eyes on everything that was in front of us. I threw nervous glances through the shop's windows, heart beating as fast as if it was me who was in there not knowing where a zombie could suddenly appear. Just a minute after, Matsumoto called me with his hand.

Once we were in, we closed the door. Masaki stood on the side of the shop closer to the exit and Matsumoto on the other side, while I walked the short aisles in search of anything that could be useful. They didn't seem to have the gas there, but near Matsumoto, there was a door with a tag "employees only" hanging from it. Still, I kept an eye on the big water bottles that we could take another trip to pick up.

I caught Matsumoto's eye and pointed to the door. He bit his lip, but nodded and, in a second, was already opening the door. Masaki rushed to his side when he noticed that the room was completely dark. Good to store fuel, but not so good for us. They looked at each other and nodded. Masaki took out a flashlight and examined the room from side to side. Very small, filled with very promising containers and a lot of black spots.

Masaki caught my eyes in a question. Again, I could back off if I wanted, I didn't have to do this. Only, of course, I needed to do it, if not here somewhere else because we would not be able to travel another day with the gas we had. I nodded and went in right after Matsumoto.

Not wanting to lose a single second, I went for the orange containers and lifted a couple up. Completely filled. I gave Masaki a thumbs up and started to take them out of the room. We would have enough to fill the tank and then some, but it would take us a while to take them all to the van.

When I had taken ten out I signaled to them that we had enough, and both of them came out and closed the door. Matsumoto went ahead and opened the door outside, scanning the horizon. I was trying to lift a deposit in each hand, damning that I had kept so physically inactive even in the face of the apocalypse. My arms would probably hurt for days, but I couldn't risk taking only one deposit each trip. To my surprise, Masaki fastened the safety lock on his gun and picked up another two.

I looked at him as he led the way outside and quickly followed when Matsumoto told us to go. We all went inside the caravan with our loot, Matsumoto taking an appreciative look at them.

"Forty liters on one go, no bad at all." He was smiling, obviously excited that, for once, things seemed to be going without a hitch. "We could go, take four more and leave."

"No." To my surprise, it was Masaki who said it. "We're going to need every drop of gas we can take. And, Nino." He turned to look at me with a grave expression. "On the last trip, I'll carry the gas. You pick up a first aid kit and as much water as you can."

"Consider it done." I winked at him, which made him dissolve in a breathy laugh. Masaki pinched my cheek and kissed it before getting the gun out.

"Let's go."

The second trip went nearly as well as the first. I tripped and nearly spilled all the gas on the ground, but managed to take the container before it could drop more than a few drops. They said nothing about it, just made sure the containers were safely stored inside. They gave me a backpack to store as many things as I found useful and went back outside.

While Masaki picked up the gas, I ran to store the first aid kit in the backpack. On the way to the water, I picked up cereal bars without stopping to even look at them and dropped them inside. After that, I could only fit a couple of bottles inside and take two of the big ones in my hands. In less than a minute we were ready to leave.

It was then when we heard it. Something dragging against the ground outside, making its way towards us. Through the windows, we could only see the clear sky. With a gulp, Matsumoto was the first one to get closer to the window and look down. It was the second time I had seen him this scared, which could only mean one thing.

"Shit, shit, shit," Masaki whispered as he took a peek. "They're everywhere. How did they get here so quickly without legs?"

"The only thing that matters is how we're going to get out of here."

I left the bottles on the ground, afraid that my trembling fingers would drop them, and just stood in the middle of the room, looking at them. Matsumoto passed me as he went to the windows on the other side.

"We're not surrounded yet," he said and punched the wall, "but it doesn't matter, the windows are barred. We have to clear the way."

"There's a thing..." I said. It was not a good thing, but probably the only thing we could do. "The people I lived with didn't have many guns or anything, so there's a thing we used to do. We can make them go somewhere else and run to the van, but we need to make sure we can be faster than they are."

"I think we're just going to have to give it our best and hope that we come out of this alive, because if more come there will be no way to clear a path," Matsumoto said. "So do whatever you have to do."

Masaki came to stand by my side. I rubbed my shoulder against his and proceeded to take my knitted mitten off. It was going to be missed, but its death was going to be that of a hero. I put on the brass knuckles, pushed the button and cut myself deeply in the hand. Masaki was grasping my wrists quickly, but it was done. I slapped him away and pressed the glove against the wound, making sure it soaked in as much blood as it could hold.

"It's going to have to do," I muttered, but Masaki shook his head.

"Use mine too, it will be better if we get it dripping," he said, offering me his hand. I looked at him with a knot in my throat, but I had to do it. I closed my eyes when I felt the spike tearing his skin, heard his moan of pain. He took the glove from me and did the same thing I had done. I put my hand over his, trying to squeeze out a few last drops. Just the smell was strong even for our human senses; it would probably suffice for the monsters.

Now came the tricky part. I looked up at Masaki, took his neck in my clean hand and pulled him close to kiss his lips. Just a quick peck, all we could afford.

"Nino?" he asked, frowning and watching as I got closer to the window. The moment I opened it I heard him calling me again, but I couldn't let it distract me. As soon as the window moved just a bit, the zombies on the ground tried to push themselves up with the strength of their arms.

They were severely mutilated. None of them had legs. This was the doing of humans, for sure, but I didn't spare another thought on it. Once I was as sure as I could be that they would not be able to climb through the window, I dangled the bloody mitten in front of them. They started to scream and scratch and bite each other to get closer.

"You want my human blood, don't you?" I said, getting it farther away from them, seeing how all tried to follow it. "Come here, you bastards."

I went to the window that was behind the counter and did the same thing again, waiting a few seconds.

"How is the situation on the door?" I asked. Footsteps quickly went to the window beside the door.

"All clear." It was Matsumoto who spoke. I just nodded and went to the windows in the back of the shop. When I opened the window, the horde was already on its way.

"They're all in the back, let's go," Masaki nearly shouted. I nodded and threw the glove through the bars with all my strength. I didn't waste a second to see how the zombies crawled after it, going over each other if necessary, just turned around and ran with all my strength after Matsumoto and Masaki.

The moment we closed the door we could already hear some moans very close. Matsumoto ran to start the engine while Masaki and I barred the door, not paying attention to our still bleeding hands. Soon we could only see the gas stand in the distance, so Masaki took me to the couch so we could bandage each other's wound. Our hands trembled through the whole process, but the bleeding would eventually stop.

I made to stand up to put away the last gas container Masaki had somehow carried in with him, but he stopped me. Without a single word, he hugged my waist tight and put his forehead against my neck. I would much rather do that too. Hugging him back, we ended up awkwardly lying on the couch, so small that even my feet dangled on the other side. And, as if it was the most natural thing to do, we kissed. Nothing too heated, just our lips meeting, resting against each other for a few seconds before parting and meeting again.

For the first time in decades I felt truly warm, I felt Masaki's weight on my body as an anchor I hadn't known I needed for so long. I don't know if minutes or hours went by, but I assume it wasn't long until the car stopped again and Matsumoto entered the room to frantically check the door and windows.

I turned my head to look at him, feeling a bit guilty even though he had been the first of them to kiss me. Masaki continued kissing my jaw, making a path with his lips to the mole on my chin, kissing it and lowering to attack my neck. Matsumoto had turned and was looking at us with such warmth in his eyes... I extended my hand, calling to him. I felt I needed both of them to truly feel safe again, even if just for a moment.

With a smile that looked so innocent I had a hard time reconciling it with what we were about to do, Matsumoto came to kneel by my side. Trembling hands reached my face, cupping my cheeks reverently before leaning in to softly kiss my lips.

I had so many things I wanted to say, and I felt so insecure about what this would mean for my relationship with them, but I didn't say a word. None of us did. It felt like, if we just continued in silence, reality would not be able to bother us.

It was Masaki who took my shirt away, getting lower to lick and suck on my nipples. I bit my lip, trying to protect the silence, but soon it was impossible to contain my moans. Matsumoto covered my lips with his once again, this time in a long and deep kiss.

They kissed my entire body and soon enough I was lying on the couch completely naked, while they worshipped every centimeter of my skin. And I let myself be worshipped. Matsumoto got away from my side and I tried to reach for him, but Masaki took my wrists and pushed them over my head. He smiled at me and I parted my lips to receive his tongue while we heard Matsumoto opening drawers in the background.

"Is this really okay?" I heard his low voice in my ear. When I turned he was holding a half used bottle of lube in his hand. I nodded.

A sigh escaped my lips. It had been a while since I had felt the coldness of lube against my entrance. Masaki's long fingers teased me while Matsumoto ravaged my mouth with his; I bucked against them because it was fine, I wanted this and I wanted it now.

I moaned out loud at the pressure I felt inside when his fingers penetrated me, when I felt Matsumoto's hand on my member just a second after. I was revelling in the pleasure, pushing against Masaki's onslaught, biting Matsumoto's lips... I felt so alive.

And then, Masaki's fingers were gone and he and Matsumoto stood up. I looked at them, confused as to why they had stopped. Matsumoto took Masaki's face in his hands and kissed him like he had been kissing me, assaulting him with his tongue, sucking and biting his lips. As quickly as they could between their caresses, they took each other's shirts, letting me see their strong bodies.

Matsumoto hooked a finger onto Masaki's belt, pulling and taking him back to me. As soon as I figured out their intentions, I opened my mouth, inviting. Matsumoto chuckled and put himself on Masaki's back, taking his shoulders and pushing him to make him kneel. Masaki caressed my hair while Matsumoto unbuckled his belt, lowering his pants and underwear enough to let his member spring out free.

They both chuckled seeing how my eyes opened wide. I would have never guessed that he was that big, but I was certainly not going to complain. He crawled closer, but let me be the one to reach and take the tip between my lips. My heart was beating so fast that it was the only thing I could hear. That was, until Masaki's delicious moans started to inundate the space.

I looked out of the corner of my eye to see Matsumoto, licking his lips while watching us with predatory eyes. I dragged Masaki deeper into me, making him moan even harder. A curse muttered on the other side of the couch and, suddenly, Matsumoto was holding my legs apart as far as they would go. After a couple of tentative thrusts, he pushed inside of me.

It was quick and messy, but I liked it that way. Feeling Matsumoto's deep thrusts at the same time that I took Masaki as deep into my mouth as I could, I could not tell the sensations apart: it was all a big fire of pleasure building up inside of me, hotter and hotter until I couldn't take it anymore.

I did not pass out, but also didn't move when, after we all caught our breath, they cleaned me, kissed me and prepared the bed for the three of us. Again, with me in the middle, we cuddled and let our conscience fly away.


Chapter 6

The next day, we took our things to the roof to enjoy our breakfast under the sun. It didn't bother me; I would have gone anywhere just to spend more time with them. As we ate our rice, I felt the warmth on my skin; for some reason, it made me feel even better. And yet, there was something I had to say before it started eating a hole in my stomach. I waited until our bowls were empty, enjoying those minutes in which we looked at each other with knowing smiles and talked about nothing.

"So... about what happened last night." Both of them turned to look at me, giving me their full attention. I almost let it go, said I had enjoyed it and went on with things being unspoken between that. Almost. "I don't know what you thought... I don't know what your intentions are towards me..."

"It's okay." Masaki leaned in and kissed my cheek. "Whatever you want to say, it's okay."

"I'm not sure I'm ready for a relationship. If that's even what you two..." I clicked my tongue. "You two are married."

"And that's not going to change," Matsumoto said.

"Right. And I'm your... friend?" I looked at them, and both of them nodded. "I'm your friend who you can sleep with whenever you want. I don't want last night to be a one time thing. If you..."

"Oh, we want a repeat of last night too." Matsumoto gave me his crooked smile, one that I had come to really appreciate.

"And we have time," Masaki reminded us. "It's been a couple of intense days, but we really don't know each other that much. We will have time to talk about relationships once we're safe in Kyoto."

He was smiling, but quickly averted his eyes and started to pick up the bowls to take down. We helped him, but both Matsumoto and I stayed on the roof. I bit my lip and pushed myself closer to him before speaking again.

"I hurt him, didn't I?"

"He's a big boy, he'll be fine." Matsumoto put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer. "It was really a first sight thing for him, but you don't have to worry."

"And you?"

"I don't believe in love at first sight, never happened to me," he said.

"Not even with him?"

"Are you kidding me? The first time we met I was too worried about Tarou to think about anything else." He shuddered. "I don't think I even realized how handsome he was until our fifth visit."

"Tarou being your dog."

"Tarou being the best little bastard I could have ever had. Miss him every day," he sighed, but then gave me a soft slap on the shoulder. "Let's go down, it's time for us to go."

"Yes, just," I grabbed the sleeve of his shirt and pulled him closer to kiss him. He gasped softly, but quickly took my face in his hand to take control. When we parted, he laughed.

"What was that?"

"Just because we're not dating doesn't mean we can't do this."

* * *

When we came down, the bowls were waiting for us in the sink and Masaki was ready at the driver's cabin to drive away into the mountains. We barely exchanged a couple of words and he was as hyped as always, but I could see how his smile didn't reach his eyes. Matsumoto and I exchanged a look, but didn't say a word.

One of us would talk to him later, I thought, but for the time being, it was better to leave him alone to process my words. I felt a pang of pain in my stomach, but I couldn't be sorry. I loved being with them, but just thinking about being in a committed relationship had all my alarm bells screaming.

Four hours later we found a small rest stop in the middle of the mountains and the car came to a stop. Masaki came back, head hanging low.

"We can check if the place is clear," he said in an uncharacteristic low voice. "There's probably more gas in there."

"If the place is clear," said Matsumoto, "we could maybe eat here and rest for a bit out of the caravan. We could teach you how to shoot."

He turned to me and I blinked quickly. I hadn't thought he would let me near a gun before we were in Kyoto, much less here, in the middle of nowhere.

"Those woods don't look good," I muttered with little conviction. I didn't fancy being outside and I was still very far from being stir crazy. But them... I could tell they weren't used to spending days being quiet in a small space.

"We'll go out first," he said. "You keep the door open for us in case we have to come back running."

I nodded quickly, much happier in that role than on the front line. They readied their guns and wore the rest of the protective leather gear they took off inside the van. Perfunctory and in silence, their faces completely serious. A look at each other's eyes and a nod was all they needed. I took Masaki's arm before they opened the door.

"Take care out there," I told him and, looking straight into his eyes, I leaned in to give him a soft kiss on the lips. He took a shortened breath but gave me half a smile.

"I always do."

Then they left the van while I held the door open with my body, watching them walk side by side away from me. The closer they got to the picnic tables in front of the shop, the more violently I was playing with the hem of my shirt. Any second, I expected a monster to come out of nowhere and kill them before my eyes.

Nothing happened. They inspected the shop in less than a minute, threw rocks at the border of the woods and even looked inside the abandoned children games. Nothing. They did the round again, just to double-check that it was safe. When Matsumoto turned to call me with his hand, I let out the breath I had been holding.

First, we went to raid the shop. Both of them took some of the gas containers that were left while I looked for anything we could eat. Or use. Something had grabbed my attention in a corner of the shop, but, first, I went through the aisles, filling the bag with dried foods and water bottles.

I put the bag on my back and, before leaving the store, I walked quickly to the corner where a few sports related things were displayed. Mostly small things for children to play with. And a baseball bat. When I was a kid, I liked playing baseball and I knew how to swing a bat. I figured hitting a ball wouldn't be much different from hitting a zombie's head. Especially if I nailed spikes on it.

Matsumoto and Masaki were carrying some cold food to the picnic tables and I greeted them triumphantly with my bat held high. Matsumoto's mouth opened in disbelief and would probably have rushed to take it away if Masaki hadn't begun to laugh. So hard that he almost fell to the ground. I left the bag in the van, but went outside still holding the bat over my shoulder, which Matsumoto eyed me suspiciously.

"Do you really think it's going to do anything for you?" he asked as he passed me one of the cans and my chopsticks.

"If they get too close you'll be happy I have this."

"We won't let them. That's what the guns are for."

"They can slip by you," I grinned at him while he glared at me. "And, by the way, how does a wedding planner become such a sharp shooter? The other day you hit that thing over my shoulder."

"Practice," he said, turning away to fill his mouth. Masaki snickered.

"No, seriously."

"My job was very stressful, okay?" he finally said. "This guy I was dating took me to a shooting range once and I kind of only agreed because I really liked him. I stopped for a while after we broke up, but came back in the end. Now I'm grateful I did."

"So... King Matsumoto is someone who would do things he doesn't like for a boy?" I was grinning and Masaki laughed so much that I feared fish would come out of his nostrils. Meanwhile, Matsumoto was stabbing me with his eyes.

"He was much cuter back then," Masaki said, leaning a bit closer to me. "Lately he wouldn't even agree to go camping with me."

"We compromised, remember?"

"Glamping is just not the same." Masaki shook his head solemnly. "If you're not bitten by bugs and scared of finding a bear, what is the point?"

"You're so weird." Matsumoto smiled and reached out to muss his hair, while Masaki laughed out loud. I breathed, calm seeing that nothing appeared to have changed between them. They were a good couple and didn't deserve to be bothered by someone like me. I stood up and stretched.

"I think I'm going to walk for a bit," I said, already taking my bat when Masaki stood up so fast he nearly fell to the ground.

"I'll go with you," he said, walking quickly to my side.

"You don't need to, I have this," I reminded him, showing him the bat. I thought they would relish the opportunity to have some time alone, but both of them shook their heads.

"I'll go and look through the shop again. You two can take your time," Matsumoto said, dismissing us with a wave of his hand. I nodded and we went away. We couldn't go very far away, since the clearing the shop had been in wasn't really that big. Without talking about it, we both walked toward the play area.

"I'm sure he'll go nap in the van. He wouldn't pass an opportunity to hog all the space for himself," Masaki chuckled.

"You two really love each other," I said as a matter of fact. Masaki was already sitting on one of the swings, so I joined him on the other one. The soft swinging up and down calmed my nerves. "Why add me to the equation? Because I don't think you're just trying to spice up your sex life. You're clearly not bored of each other."

"We're not," Masaki spoke in a soft voice. He was barely swinging in place, looking at me. "We love each other, but we also like you. Is that so hard to believe?"

"It is for me," I grumbled, looking to the ground. Suddenly, the swing came to a stop and I sighed. Masaki was in front of me, holding the chains at either side of my head. I braved a look upwards. His eyes were wet. "It's not that tragic, really. I'm just realistic. It doesn't make sense to me that you two would make things more complicated to yourselves just because."

"It's not just because," he said with a fire in his voice I hadn't heard before. I was taken aback by this. "I understand why you think like this. But you're worthy of love, Kazunari. I'm not just saying that because I want to sleep with you, or because I want to date you. Even if we stayed friends forever I would be more than happy to be by your side."

I gulped, completely speechless. My brain was wracking itself thinking of any joke that could lower the stakes of the situation, but it couldn't. I was blocked by the sheer love Masaki was showing me. Then we heard a bark.

Immediately, Masaki stepped back to take his gun out and I ducked to take my bat. In the park, there was a small wooden house and the barking came from that direction.

"You checked that thing, right?" I asked nervously.

"Of course, it was clean."

We backed away slowly, Masaki not taking his eyes from the house as I glanced around, looking for the best escape route. Then it came from behind the house: a little dog of no discernible breed, barking his head off. It was covered in mud and twigs, and it was clear no one had been caring for it for a while.

The most important question popped up in both of our heads at the same time, judging from the way we quickly glanced at each other. Was the little beast infected?

I had seen zombie animals before, but no one in my group ever learned if you could actually get the virus from them like you could from humans. Only one person had been bitten and we didn't wait to see what would happen.

"What do we do?" I asked in a whisper, hoping my voice wouldn't agitate the little thing even more.

"We need to calm it down so I can examine it," Masaki said with total conviction. I nearly dropped my bat.

"What? Are you nuts?" I whispered, a little louder but still trying to keep my voice under control. "It could be infected."

"That's why I'm going to need you to hold the gun." He was breathing heavily, but he was already pushing the weapon towards me. His hands didn't tremble in the slightest. "The safety is off, so be careful. Don't overreact. Just walk by my side and point at it right into its head. If I say "shoot", you shoot. Not a second before."

"I know you were a veterinarian and all that, but it's not worth..."

"Take the gun and shut up." He turned towards me, a fire raging in his eyes. "Every single life is worth taking risks."

The only thing I could do was nod slowly, take the gun, and obey him. From the start, he had seemed just this really happy-go-lucky man with a heart of gold. I had sensed that there had to be something more in there, and I had found bits and pieces in the following days. This... this was something else. And I loved it.

As we stepped closer, the dog stopped barking and whimpered, backing away from us. Now that we were close enough I could see it was trembling from the nose to the tip of its tail. I had never seen a human zombie tremble, but who knew with animals. And also, it could mean nothing. I didn't know the exact time that had to pass between getting bitten and turning, but I had heard of cases in which as much as a week had passed without anyone noticing anything.

"Hey, little guy, come here." Masaki was kneeling in front of it, his hand slightly extended with his palm up. "I'm not going to hurt you. Everything is going to be fine."

The dog barked again. My hand was sweating against the metal of the gun; I was afraid that if I had to shoot, my finger would slip and we would be dead. Or that I would shoot Masaki. Or... the dog took a step towards Masaki, whimpering again and with its tail between its legs.

"That's a good boy," he whispered, a smile spreading on his face. "Now let's see if I have anything for you..."

He still kept his hand extended towards the dog, who was carefully smelling it from afar, while the other rummaged through his multiple pockets. With a triumphant look, he pulled out a string of some kind of meat jerky. The poor beast didn't hesitate and ran towards it to devour it in two bites. Who knew when it had last eaten?

"So you're hungry, that's good," Masaki said. "Now, I'm going to touch you. Are you going to be good? I may have more food for you."

He reached out and touched the dog's head. We were both holding out breath, but nothing happened. With more encouraging words, Masaki started to part the fur where he could, trying to see its skin through mud and knots in is fur.

"You're going to need a bath, little boy," he muttered to himself. I didn't want to be the one to tell him that we wouldn't keep the dog. I was just the fuck friend; Matsumoto could deal with that conversation later.

"He has scratches and stuff, but I don't see any biting marks," Masaki said a little louder so I would hear him. "And he's healthy, just a bit malnourished. I don't think he's been alone for a long..."

And whatever he had to say was cut off by a scream and a loud whimper.

"Masaki?" I shouted, gun firm in my hand again.

"Don't, don't! It's okay!" Masaki was holding his bleeding arm in his hand. "His leg is broken and I touched it, it's my fault. Don't shoot!"

"Then what do I do?" I had my eyes fixed on the dog, the gun still held high.

"Put the gun down and stay here," Masaki said, already getting to his feet. "I'll send Jun to pick up the dog, you just stay here with him. And don't shoot."

"I won't..."

I exhaled. During the whole minute it took Matsumoto to come, I just stood there. The dog looked at me and I looked at it... him, I supposed. It didn't seem he was preparing to attack or bolt; instead, he had lay down and licked his leg furiously.

I didn't hear Matsumoto coming. He just walked in front of me, softly squeezed my shoulder and took the gun from me.

"I don't know what this beast will think of me, so you go bribe him while I wrap him in the towel."

I took the jerky he was handing me and looked at his face first. He seemed to be as happy about this as I was.

"Why are we doing this?" I muttered while I broke off a piece of jerky and threw it close to the dog.

"Because we love Masaki." Matsumoto shook his head and walked around the dog. "And because, deep down, I think he's right. If we start seeing every other creature who is not us as dispensable, what have we become?"

"So... for Masaki and our humanity."

"Cheers to that," he said darkly.

The dog whimpered and tried to bite, but once he was firmly wrapped didn't put up much more resistance. I tentatively offered him another strip of jerky, a longer one so that my hand would be out of the biting zone. He ate it but didn't look me in the eye. When we reached camp, Masaki was sitting on the van's doorstep with his hands on his lap.

Then he smiled and I understood that, as right as Matsumoto was, if I had to choose just one reason for doing this shit, it would be that smile.


Chapter 7

While Masaki cleaned the dog, whispering silly nothings in his sweet voice, I approached Matsumoto. We talked about how we couldn't possibly keep the dog, even if it felt wrong to just leave it there to what was likely to be a very short life. Taking it somewhere close wasn't an option either: either we took it to Kyoto or we left it there. And we couldn't take it to Kyoto.

Then we all got ready to leave. We wanted to possibly reach a village, Achi, before the sun went down. Masaki looked at us, we looked at Masaki, and Matsumoto turned to look at the dog. Without a word, the four of us got into the van, Matsumoto took the wheel, and we continued our journey.

By the time we saw the fields that surrounded the village, the sun had only a couple of hours left in the sky and Masaki had named the dog Momo. Because, after cleaning it, his fur had this cream color that reminded him of a peach, apparently. I didn't pay much attention to the dog on the way, deciding instead halfway through that I would be less bored if I sat with Matsumoto in the driver's cabin.

"Your husband is ignoring us in favor of a dog, are you aware of that?" I grumbled, soft enough that Masaki wouldn't hear. Matsumoto laughed.

"He's been ignoring me for the last days in favor of you, puppy. How does that taste?"

"Shut up," which only made him laugh more and reach with a hand to ruffle my hair. Which felt good, but I wouldn't tell him that.

We parked right in front of the first building on the edge of town. A small, one-story house. Like most of the buildings there, as far as we could see. It was a farming village and it had probably been a quiet place even back then, when it would have been filled with living people.

They made me stay inside the van with the dog while the two of them went to survey the house. I think Momo and I had mutual feelings of distrust. I sat on the couch and he was lying on the corner of the van, where Masaki had laid some blankets out for him.

A few minutes later, they came back and rushed me into the house while Masaki carried the dog. It was clean, both of monsters and life. It seemed that, whoever had lived there before, had time to prepare before they left. There were no personal trinkets left or food rotting away. On top of a table in the middle of the room, they had left blankets, some canned food, and a letter.

I followed Matsumoto to stand beside the table while Masaki made sure every door and window was closed before letting Momo run around the place. The poor little thing had so much energy in him, even with his broken leg. He had only gone out of the van to relieve himself and have a little walk around it. It was a small dog, but the van didn't offer him much space to play.

Not that I cared. What was important now was the envelope that lay on the table. It wasn't sealed close and it had creases.

"People have come here before us and after the owners left," Matsumoto muttered as Masaki came to stand by his side. The three of us stared at the paper before I grew impatient and just took it. Inside was a notebook sheet with a short message written.

"Dear stranger," I started reading out loud. Matsumoto was looking at me with a frown, while Masaki had a proud smile. "We've been able to establish communication with Nara. We've been called to go there, to the safe bastion they're building. We hope to make our last stand there and defeat this plague. We urge you, dear stranger, to join us there. Safe travels."

Matsumoto snatched the letter from me, read it quickly from start to finish and checked that there was nothing written on the other side. I rolled my eyes and went to check if the cushions around the table had bugs. They seemed to be clean, so I let my body fall on them and, soon, Masaki joined me while Matsumoto was still mulling over the letter.

"Jun," Masaki called him after a few minutes, "we don't know when they wrote that letter, but it couldn't be after we left home."

"But we also don't know when Sakurai's transmission was sent." Matsumoto started to walk back and forth across the room. Momo seemed to catch on and started to follow him.

"Jun, sit down and think." Masaki patted the table gently, but firmly. "We can't change our course now. If something was happening in Nara now, Sakurai would have said something in his message. He only said to join him in Kyoto."

Matsumoto sighed, but went to the table and sat in front of us. After a last thorough reading, he even released the letter and put it back on top of the blankets.

"We'll see Kyoto before we see Nara," Masaki said in a reassuring voice, reaching over the table to take Matsumoto's hand in his. "This is good, Jun. If something is wrong in Kyoto, at least we know where to go next."

"I know." Matsumoto nodded. "You seem to be too quiet, puppy. That's new."

"You'll always find something to complain about..." I grumbled and clicked my tongue.

"Don't worry, Nino. We'll be fine, I promise." Masaki turned to look at me with his soft smile, but Matsumoto chuckled darkly in the background. We ignored him.

"It's been ages since I've been in a house that is clean," I explained. "It almost feels like a vacation house we rented. I haven't had much of that... ever."

"Well... then we'll have to enjoy our one-night holiday as best as we can, don't you think?" Masaki still had his gentle smile on, but his intentions weren't so innocent. Not with his hand rubbing circles on the inside my thigh.

Matsumoto caught on quickly, looking at me with a raised eyebrow. I turned to look him in the eye, knowing fully well that my lips were getting red with warmth, my pupils dilating with pent-up desire. But he just looked at me, resting his chin on his hand as if he was considering something.

"What?" I snapped, licking my lips quickly after.

"I was wondering... will you wear it for me tonight?" he said, not feeling any other explanation was necessary. The worst part is that I immediately knew what he was talking about.

"Wear what? I thought you'd prefer me naked." I grinned at him and he couldn't help laughing. Masaki chuckled beside me too and reached over to kiss my cheek.

"Jun has been dying to make you his pet, you know?" Masaki whispered in my ear, even though in the small room Matsumoto would obviously hear too. "He tries to look indifferent, but I can see what he really wants in his eyes. He's not good at hiding what he wants."

"Will you?" Matsumoto repeated in a more demanding tone. I looked at Masaki, looked at him, and then at the two closed doors in the room. One had to be a bedroom.

"I will." I smiled cockily at him, while my hands trembled in my lap. We moved very quickly and efficiently after that. Masaki set up an improvised bed for Momo, Matsumoto went to rummage in one of the backpacks we had brought inside, and I went to inspect the closed doors.

One was a small bathroom, and the other was a bedroom equipped with a comfortable looking double bed. Maybe it would be a tight fit for the three of us, but it was infinitely bigger than the floor of the van. I was hesitating on if I should start taking off my clothes or not when the door opened, revealing the two men looking at me with hungry eyes.

I barely even saw what Masaki was carrying; I only had eyes for the collar in Matsumoto's hand. Masaki went to sit on the bed, while Matsumoto stood in front of me.

"I have only two rules," Matsumoto said in such a dominating voice that it sent chills down my spine. I nodded, trying to look as nonchalant as I could. "Number one, in bed you'll do as I say. Number two, if you want to stop at any time, just tell me to. Don't hesitate because you think you can take it: if you don't want it, we stop. Understood?"

"Yes, eh..." I hesitated. It didn't feel right to call him Matsumoto as I always did. A cocky smile spread on his face.

"You are allowed to call me Master while you wear this." He pointed with the collar at me. "I'm not going to go hard on you, not today, but, is there anything I should know?"

"I..." I closed my eyes, memories trying to flow without my consent. I gulped and drown them. "I'd rather we didn't do any breathplay."

"Not to worry, then. I don't enjoy it, either."

Relief ran through my body. I trusted Matsumoto; if I didn't I would never let him put a collar on me. Or sleep by my side. And yet, I couldn't help feeling that the only reason I would be safe from being choked was that he would not enjoy it. I wanted to slap myself; instead, I lifted my chin to present my neck to Matsumoto, who looked at it appreciatively.

"Strip," he ordered. "Puppies don't wear clothes."

Immediately I tugged at my shirt and pulled it over my head. A pair of big hands undid my belt while I dealt with it and, once I was free, I saw Masaki smiling over my shoulder, helping me undress. Without thinking about it, we started kissing as we dealt with buttons and shoelaces.

Once I was completely naked, I turned to Matsumoto. He had sat on a chair in the corner of the room and had been enjoying the show with his legs crossed. With one extended hand, he called me over and I went willingly to his side.

"Kneel for me."

I did and not a second after I felt the cold leather against my skin. Matsumoto was very gentle, brushing my hair away and petting me as he strapped the collar on, making sure I had enough room to breathe. Once he was done, he tilted my head upwards so he could kiss my lips.

Then he hooked a finger on the collar's ring and led me to the bed. After that, I was drowning in desire and passion. I remember Masaki's hands massaging my shoulders and whispering encouraging words in my ears. Matsumoto's touch, his fingers gently relaxing and exciting me at the same time.

He was over me, giving orders to adjust my position so he could have better access, so I would be more comfortable. He kissed every centimeter of my skin, even when he slipped inside of me. His eyes never left mine, making sure I was fine, making sure I felt as good as he did.

When it was over, I lay in his arms and didn't want to move ever again. But then, he went to get some wet towels and cleaned me. After that, he took the collar off. I was smiling at him, but I felt the loss of the weight deep inside me. Once I was clean, once I wasn't his puppy anymore, he left the room.

Masaki came to cuddle with me and I easily surrendered to his caresses. We kissed slowly, enjoying the afterglow as if it had been him the one I had slept with.

"Are you okay?" I asked and Masaki laughed.

"I should be the one asking that. I know these things can get very intense," he said as he brushed my fringe away from my eyes.

"I'm more than fine," I said, still smiling. I don't know if I managed to fool him.

"I wanted to thank you, too. You may not know it, but this is very important for us. For Jun and for me." Masaki smile grew a bit sad, too. "We've tried it before, but it doesn't work for us. I can't enjoy being in your position, if you know what I mean. There was a time when it was very frustrating for us... but that doesn't matter now. I'm just happy he gets to do this thing he loves with you. That's all I wanted to tell you."

And he kissed my forehead. I wanted to ask him if he felt guilty, if he felt left out. I said nothing because my mind was a battlefield between my worry for Masaki and another part of me mulling over his words. I was sure that wasn't what Masaki meant, but it felt like I was only here to fulfill Matsumoto's fetish. Was that what they had seen in me? It would make sense that they would have been so interested in me in so little time. It sure wasn't because of my sparkling personality.

Then Matsumoto came into the room, cuddled next to Masaki, and started the second round by kissing him deeply, making him moan before he could even touch him. And sex with them always felt good, so any doubt could wait until the next morning. I pushed my hand between his legs and made him squeal.


Chapter 8

The next morning shouldn't have been this awkward. It wasn't the first time we had slept together after all. But Masaki's confession wouldn't leave my head.

Even if I had been the one insisting on not being romantically involved with them, I couldn't help feeling a bit resentful. I didn't like being used. I had been used enough throughout my life. And I couldn't help thinking that the only value they saw in me was as a plaything for Mr. Matsumoto.

Masaki had eaten breakfast quickly as I was getting dressed, and taken Momo out for a walk, muttering that he would keep an eye open in case he saw any clues about what had happened in town. Which left only me and Matsumoto eating in the living room.

When I had approached the table, he had beckoned me to his side. With a tug in my heart, I resisted rushing to him, kneeling in front of him, letting him pet me. I went and sat on the other side of the table and started to open the fish cans Masaki had left for me.

I saw him raise an eyebrow, but said nothing about it. We ate in silence. I was praying for Masaki to come back, so at least Momo would take some of the tension away. When we finished, I made to stand up and go away, but Matsumoto's voice stopped me.

"Talk to me," he practically commanded me, which made me huff. "Puppy..."

"You can start by calling me by my name," I snapped at him, which visibly threw him off. "I may let you play with my body, I may let you put that stupid collar on me, but I'm not less than you."

"What is this about?" He was frowning, confused but also getting pissed by the second. "Look, we don't have to do what we did yesterday ever again if you don't want to, but don't you dare snap at me."

"You can't tell me how to react," I laughed, a cruel laugh I had forgotten I was capable of. "You don't own me."

"I never thought I did." He put his hand on the table with visible effort not to slam it down instead. "What the fuck is going on, Ninomiya?"

"I..." I breathed out. He had a point... what had gotten into me? Why had Masaki's words affected me to this point? I looked away, unable to meet his eye. In almost a whisper, I said. "I don't like being used. I don't like how it feels."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him stand up and come closer to me. Out of pure instinct, I stood up and took a few quick steps backwards toward the door. Matsumoto stopped, hand lifted in the air, looking at me with wide-open eyes. And then pity. I clicked my tongue.

"I think I need to go for a walk," I muttered, but before I could turn around he had taken my hand in his.

"I don't know what's gotten into you..." he said in a surprisingly soft voice. Pity, for sure. The poor abused kid, trying to run away from someone who had never hurt him, had to be treated like a scared puppy.

"That I was hurt doesn't make me less than you," I interrupted him, venom dripping in my voice. "Let me go."

"It's dangerous out there and you don't have a gun." He took a deep breath before fixing his strong eyes on mine. "It's not a matter of who's better, it's a matter of me not letting you go outside to get yourself killed. So, whatever it is that is going through your mind, you're going to solve it here. Be it with me, with Masaki or alone. We have enough problems as it is."

"Then I have good news for you, you're not going to have to worry about me anymore." My mouth was speaking on its own, the red fury I felt inside getting carried away. "As soon as we're close to a populated place you can drop me off."

"You're not serious." Matsumoto's hand around mine was tensing, gripping me harder than before. I managed not to wince before shaking his hand away and turning around. He would have caught me before I was a meter from the house, but, as I opened the door, Masaki rushed in with Momo on his arms.

"Take your things and run to the van! They're coming!" he shouted, picking up one of the backpacks we had brought in and running out. Without a word, I turned to pick up the other and Matsumoto took his gun out. We barely had time to close the van door before Masaki started it and pulled out at full speed.

Momo was barking loudly, but I could barely hear him. My ears were pulsating with the adrenaline from the run and my fight with Matsumoto. In the distance we could see the zombies, walking toward us as fast as they could which, luckily, wasn't very fast.

"Hold onto something!" came Masaki's voice from the cabin, but before I could react something crashed into the van making me tumble. Before the next crash came, Matsumoto grabbed my waist with one hand and held me close to his body.

Out of the window, I saw parts of the monsters flying away, and the rest of the bodies we had run over lying on the ground. My stomach turned. I would never be able to get used to that vision. We hit more another couple of times before Masaki's voice said it was already safe.

I pushed Matsumoto away and turned to check on Momo. Poor thing was lying in a corner, trembling from head to toe. I sat beside him and, unexpectedly, he rushed to sit on top on me and licked my face.

"I thought you didn't like him," Matsumoto said, his voice a bit on edge but doing his best to sound calm.

"I don't, not particularly." I shrugged, letting my fingers run through his soft fur. "But he's just as scared as I am."

"As we are," Matsumoto corrected me and came to sit on the floor beside me. He started petting Momo's head. "We all, not just the three of us. We pretend we know what we're doing, we pretend we're going to be fine..."

"Because we have to."

"But we don't know if we're going to die tomorrow. Or the day after tomorrow..." He clicked his tongue. "I don't think of you as any less than us."

"I know," I said in a whisper, letting my forehead touch Momo's, who then immediately got away to lick it too.

"And I don't pity you," he continued. "Neither I nor Masaki do."

I didn't say anything about that. Maybe I could understand that on an intellectual level, but, deep down, I couldn't believe they didn't feel at least a bit of pity for me. That was just how humans were. Instead, I asked him what had been in my mind since the night before.

"Am I just a toy to you? Do you tolerate me just because you can do with me what you can't with Masaki?"

"What are you talking about?" Matsumoto huffed.

"Nothing, forget about it." There was my answer. I bit my lip and then kissed Momo's head. He was warm and soft; it was comforting.

"I like you, Ninomiya," Matsumoto said and stood up. "We've slept together with other people before. Even before this bullshit happened. They didn't stick around because we didn't want them to, but this is different. We're not sleeping with you to spice up our sex life or to do things we don't do with each other. Think about that."

I didn't reply, just heard the door to the cabin close after Matsumoto. I was still hiding my red cheeks on Momo's fur, begging for my heart to calm down. Because in spite of my doubts and my insecurities, despite not being able to imagine being in a committed relationship with anyone... I felt happy.

* * *

Later that day, when we stopped to eat, the three of us kissed each other. Just a touch of the lips, more a greeting than an act of passion. At least for a brief moment, we were content in each other's presence.

The sun was starting to come down when we left the tree area and were suddenly in front of a big lake. Masaki and I took the map out and determined that it had to be Biwa Lake and that the abandoned streets we were driving through were in its time the city of Maibara.

We were so close to Kyoto now. If we could drive right by the lake we would be in the city tomorrow morning. So, of course, when we were already on the road that ran parallel to the coast, the van stopped. I immediately went to the driver's cabin, but inside Matsumoto and Masaki were looking at each other as surprised as I was.

"We still have gas left," said Masaki pointing at the dashboard.

"Wait, I'll..." Matsumoto crouched down and tried to start the engine again. It made a noise that definitely didn't sound right and stopped. He tried again with the same result.

We looked at each other again, confused and defeated. We were so close, just about 90 kilometers away from our destination. An hour or two if we drove there, an eternity if we had to walk. There sun was still high in the sky; we would have still had a few hours of driving ahead of us.

"Okay..." Matsumoto took a deep breath. Then another. Another and only then did he try to talk again. "Let's... let's just rest, have dinner and sleep. Whatever is wrong with the car will still be there tomorrow morning for us to fix."

"Yes, we weren't going to drive much farther today anyway," said Masaki in a bright tone that was betrayed by his worried eyes. "I'm sure it'll be just some part that got loose. We'll fix it tomorrow and finish this journey."

Of course, it was in the mind of all three of us how close we were to the former populated area of Maibara. We hadn't seen anyone from the car or any kind of barricade that would betray a human settlement there. Unfortunately, that usually meant that it was the perfect place for zombies to roam around free.

"I'll go check our perimeter," Matsumoto said as Masaki and I settled on the couch. His hands were twitching. He surely wasn't looking forward to spending hours in a van that wouldn't move, doing nothing. "We're close to the lake. If it's clean we can take water. And it will be nice for Momo to be able to walk by it."

"I'll go with you," Masaki said, already standing up, but Matsumoto stopped him with a hand to his shoulder.

"Stay here and rest, I won't go far," and then he looked at me. He probably thought he was being subtle, but for me it was clear what he meant. I can't imagine what he feared, but I knew he didn't want to leave me alone, in case I did something.

"I don't need a babysitter. I'm older than you, you know?" I huffed, but Masaki didn't even turn to look at me.

"Be careful out there," he said and gave him a kiss for good luck. Matsumoto smiled at both of us and left the van, taking his gun out.

"You really should have gone. We don't know what's out there," I chastised him, but Masaki just shrugged.

"He's quick and has a good aim. Danger is part of this new world." He came back and sat beside me. "He'll be fine. Let's cuddle."

I raised an eyebrow at him. It was not unusual for him. On the contrary, I think he would be constantly hugging me and Matsumoto if we allowed him. Still...

"I overreacted, okay? I'm not going to just up and leave," I said, but got closer to him and rested my head on his shoulder. "Get straight to the point. What do you want to talk about?"

"Jun has informed me that it was possible that you misunderstood my words last night." He put both arms around my waist, one of his thumbs drawing small circles on my hip. "You have to believe that we really like you because of who you are. We like Nino. I know it's difficult, but you can't distrust everyone like this."

"It's what's kept me alive..." I muttered, but as I said it the words felt old and musty in my mouth. The memory of a bad dream, nothing more. "I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be, I understand."

Inside my head there was just a mess of old and new feelings, old and new beliefs. I wanted to snap at him and I wanted to confess how much they meant to me. Instead, I raised my head and kissed him slowly, again and again. Until Momo's bark interrupted us.

"Is something wrong, boy?" Masaki asked, straightening up and looking out of the window. I did so too. Matsumoto was coming back, but he didn't look in a hurry. When he opened the door, Momo rushed to jump around him.

"Have you missed me?" he said with a smile as he picked Momo up. "So you're one of the few stupid dogs that like me, eh?"

"How are things out there?" Masaki asked, his hand wandering to squeeze mine. Matsumoto turned to us with a bright smile.

"Perfect. The sun will still be out for a couple of hours, we have good visibility and I haven't seen a single fly moving." He put Momo back on the floor and went to take his leash. "We can have a picnic by the lake, take a walk..."

"A date?" Masaki asked with a wink. Well, his version of a wink. Matsumoto fastened the leash to Momo's collar before looking up to answer.

"If you two want it to be one."

I felt my face burning again. With everything that had happened in last day, I felt my heart was too exposed. That if anything unexpected happened, the damage I would receive could maybe be too much for me to bear.

"Or we can be just three people with an undetermined relationship having a nice evening out," Masaki said slowly, not letting go of my hand. But Matsumoto's smile was faltering and I could see insecurity in Masaki's eyes. I sighed.

"Or we can make a date out of it," I said. It was hard to let the words out, but their happy faces were more than worth it. "It's going to be very romantic: a first date by the lake in the middle of the ruins of the apocalypse."

"Shut up," said Matsumoto, but he was still smiling, taking things out and putting them in a backpack. Masaki and I stood up and helped. Finally, we each took our weapons, Masaki the backpack and Matsumoto Momo, and we went out.


Chapter 9

I was never the outdoorsy type, but after days holed up inside a small van even I felt good walking under the sun. Momo started to bark excitedly when he saw the water and, before we settled down to eat, we let him run in and out of the water as much as he wanted. It was a shame that we didn't dare to take him off the leash; the poor beast would have had the time of his life playing there.

Our food was not date-worthy by any standards. We had just taken a few fish cans and pickled vegetables before we ran out, so it had neither quality nor a homemade flavor. And it didn't matter in the least.

We sat on a blanket with our feet practically touching the water. Then Masaki insisted on feeding me himself; Matsumoto laughed out loud when I blushed, but I still accepted his offer. After eating, we just lay there for a while. Suddenly, Masaki stood up and took his shirt off.

"What are you doing?" I asked, but Matsumoto was just looking at his naked torso with obvious interest.

"We're by the water. Clean water," he said with a big smile. "We can't pass up on the opportunity to swim around for a while, can we?"

I definitely could, seeing how I had never learnt how to swim. But he was already stripping and Matsumoto immediately joined him, and the little details stopped being important at the sight of so much beautiful skin.

"I'll just relax here and look after Momo," I said, lying back and just staring at them.

"We are just going to swim, we're not putting on a show for you," Matsumoto said curtly. Immediately after, he pinched Masaki's ass and started running into the water.

"Ouch! Wait until I get you!" Masaki shouted and ran after him. I laughed and lounged back on the blanket, relaxing under the warm sun. Not for long; soon Momo was barking at me and pawing me to wake up. I looked annoyed at him.

"What do you want, you little beast?" I grumbled, but he just assumed a playful posture and kept on jumping around me as far as the leash and his leg would let him. So, no rest for me.

I picked up the leash, rolled up my trousers' legs and went into the lake. Without hesitation, Momo got into the water too, happily jumping in and out of it. A few meters away from me, Masaki was swimming while Matsumoto just lounged inside the water. I could imagine him back then, floating in a pool with a fancy drink in his hand. Now, this was what we had.

"You're really not getting in?" he asked, getting to his feet to walk closer to me.

"I don't know how to swim. I'm fine here." I tried to smile, but the sight of his whole naked glory getting out of the water and coming toward me was all I could think of.

"Shame, I was looking forward pinching your bony ass, too," Matsumoto chuckled. Before I could protest, he pressed his wet body against mine to claim my lips. I frowned, knowing I would feel terrible once he separated from me and I would have to run to the van to change clothes. But I made up my mind not to think about it and just enjoy the kiss.

"Eh! I thought we weren't doing any shows today!" Masaki's voice came from the afar, together with the sound of someone rushing through the water.

"Not for this puppy, but maybe we could do something for my handsome husband," Matsumoto smirked at me. Masaki's breathy laugh was all I needed to know that there was only one possible answer.

"Let's get back into the van," I whispered.

"Why?" Matsumoto lifted an eyebrow. "It's nice and warm out here."

"And also the outside," I reminded him, but both of them were smiling above me.

"This place is deserted, we won't get interrupted."

It was a fair point.

"Just let me take Momo back to the van. I don't want to be worried about him while we..." I said and practically ran away with Momo in tow. I took a few seconds to make sure he had food and water, even if, of course, those were already ready. I took a deep breath. It was going to be a first, but it did sound exciting. Before going back, I took all my clothes off and hung them around to dry.

I went back to Matsumoto drying Masaki's hair, whispering sweet nothings into his ear. They looked so good together; seemed to make each other so happy, too. If there was a couple who was perfect, it really was these two guys. Who was I to...?

"Nino, come!" Masaki called to me with a big smile as soon as he saw me. "I see you've gotten ready."

"Your husband got all my clothes wet, so..." I said, blushing and looking away, resisting the temptation to cover myself. It would make no sense, but I still felt so exposed out here and with both of them devouring me with their eyes. It was Matsumoto who came and took me by the shoulders to make me kneel on the blanket.

"Maybe I should forbid you from wearing any clothes. You look so good like this," he whispered, and a rush of excitement ran through my whole body. He kneeled beside me, petted my hair and kissed me. I half opened an eye to look at Masaki, who was sitting by the edge of the blanket and licking his lips. This felt like too much, but also perfect. I let Matsumoto lay me down on the ground, his body pressed to mine. Then I pushed him away.

"I heard something!" I nearly shouted. The three of us stayed completely still, trying to discern any unusual sound in the air. Nothing. Matsumoto frowned, but before he could say anything, we heard it again. A low moan and the sound of flesh hitting against flesh. They sounded close, but we couldn't see any of them by the lake.

"Ditch the clothes, just take your weapons and let's go to the van," Matsumoto whispered to us and we both nodded. I quickly gripped my baseball bat as if my life depended on it. Looking around us, we made our way back.

We were close to the van when we started to hear Momo's barks. We saw some masses in the distance, but we would be inside way before they reached us. Masaki was already opening the door, Matsumoto looking around with his gun at the ready, and I was a couple of steps from them. Then, suddenly, something dragged me down.

Before I could feel what it was, before the stench of rotting flesh hit me, I swung my bat with all my strength. I saw something flying away and then heard a gunshot. I didn't even get back to my feet, Matsumoto took me in his arms and, in a second, we were inside the van.

Safe.

And also trapped.

Our heavy breathing and Momo's barking was the only thing we heard for a while. Then something hit the van. Then again. I didn't need to look out of the window to know that we were surrounded. They could not get inside, but neither could we get away. We would die of dehydration before they got tired.

"I'm not going to die naked," I declared and looked for the first thing I could wear. The pants fit me, but the shirt nearly reached my knees.

"We're not going to die," Masaki said in a low voice, nearly a whisper. He looked shock by his own words. Then, Matsumoto moved and got dressed himself before putting some clothes in Masaki's hands. "Jun?"

"Whatever happens, you'll get cold if you stay like that," Matsumoto said, but there was no confidence in his words. Masaki looked at him like a lost child for a moment before he could move.

"Do you..." I gulped hard before moving my arm to put it in plain view. I had scratches all over it and I felt them on my back and legs too. Not all of it could be from falling on the rocks. My voice broke halfway through into a sob. "Do you want me to go outside?"

"What are you talking about?" Masaki turned to look at me, halfway through figuring out how to get into the shirt he was holding.

"No, it's not worth it," Matsumoto said and took my hand to put my arm down. The sleeve of the oversize shirt fell over the gashes. He put his arm around my shoulders and pressed me against him, before calling Masaki and doing the same to him. "If this is the end, we're going to face it together."

"Don't let me hurt you," I whispered.

"So what? So we can die slowly and in pain?" Matsumoto laughed humorlessly.

"You idiot, so that you get a chance." I punched him on the shoulder.

"This can't be the end," Masaki's voice interrupted us. Immediately after, I heard him start to sob. "We're nearly there, this can't end here."

We ended up kneeling on the ground, clinging desperately to each other. Eventually, Momo got tired of barking and came to rest on our laps. In the end, maybe it would have been better to leave him alone to his luck.

"Before I..." I said, gulped hard to try my best not to let my tears flow free. "I love you, guys. I've been so stupid..."

"Nino..."

"Puppy," Matsumoto sighed and shook his head. "We love you too."

"I should have..."

"It's okay," Masaki said. It was ironic that the guy sobbing like mad would be the one to say that.

"Were you happy with us?" This time it was Matsumoto's voice that broke.

"Happier than ever in my life," I said without hesitation. So many "if only" flew through my mind, but I threw them all away. I had been happy with them and we were going to be together until the end. That was all that mattered then. We kissed each other softly, touched our faces, our arms, petted Momo... until he ran away and started barking again.

We didn't have time to wonder what had happened before we heard a machine gun firing. Instinctively, we threw ourselves to the ground. For a few minutes we just heard bullets and bullets, some of which hit our van. One broke one of the windows. And then absolute silence. The zombies were gone.

"Is anyone in there?" a voice called through a loudspeaker. Masaki and Matsumoto stood with a jump and ran to the window.

"Sakurai-senpai?" Matsumoto called out of the window. "Is that you? Are we safe?"

"Jun?" the loudspeaker sounded confused. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Can we go out? Our van is broken!" Matsumoto repeated the question. There were a few seconds of silence, before the voice came back.

"The coast is clear for now. Come to our car, we'll take you to the base," Sakurai called.

Matsumoto and Masaki were the faces of relief, but then they turned to look at me and turned pale again. I clicked my tongue.

"Then this is goodbye?" I said, trying to smile. Of course, I couldn't.

"Were you bitten?" Masaki asked and I shrugged.

"I didn't feel it, but look..." Masaki took my hand before I could raise it.

"Those are just scratches, could be just from falling..." Masaki took a deep breath. "Come with us and we'll figure it out."

"You can't save me every time, Masaki." I shook my head. Then I felt Matsumoto's hand on my other wrist.

"Masaki is right, it could be nothing." He tugged and made me look at him. "We're not going to give up on you now, so let's go."

I was going to refuse again. My fate had been sealed, and there was nothing they could do about it unless this senpai of his had a magical cure. And I doubted they would have exterminated those zombies outside if they had.

"Promise me," I said, "you won't let me hurt you."

"We'll have an eye on you at all times," Matsumoto said. Only then I nodded. We took Momo and left the van for the big jeep that was waiting outside. The senpai introduced himself as Sakurai Sho, but I didn't pay much attention to him or anything else. I vaguely heard Matsumoto tell them about the samples in our van. I just sat between Masaki and Matsumoto and hoped for the ride to be over before I started to feel the symptoms.


Chapter 10

During the ride, they explained to us that they had had to leave Kyoto. Hordes of zombies were constantly trying to push past their barriers, the remnants of the old city trying to get to the survivors. In a number of trips, they had moved all their equipment to a small island in the Biwa Lake and were now living there, protected by the water.

Honestly, I didn't pay much attention to any of their talk. I felt restless, tapping my fingers on my knees, thinking just about how little time I had left and how I was wasting it there. Masaki took my hand, but I needed more. I didn't want to spend my last hours among people with guns, I wanted to spend them alone with the people I loved. And maybe Momo, too.

We went inside a fenced building, and more people with big guns opened the door for us and greeted the driver. The other people left the vehicle as soon as we stopped, but Sakurai turned to look at us apologetically.

"Now we're going to take you to the doctor so he can examine you," he said. "It's just the protocol; we have to be completely sure that no infected people come into the island. It's our safe haven and it could be disastrous if just one of those monsters came in."
I felt Matsumoto and Masaki's eyes on me. I licked my lips; my whole mouth felt dry. At least I wouldn't become "one of those monsters". I just had hoped to have a few more hours with them.

"Something you need to tell me?" Sakurai sighed.

"A zombie attacked me before you found us," I said, but it almost felt as if another person was talking for me. I felt just a couple of centimetres outside of my body. "I don't think it bit me, but... I have gashes."

"I see..."

"Back in Chiba we never learnt if anything other than a bite could turn you," Masaki interceded, talking even quicker than usual. "And he fell to the ground, it could all be just that."

"Aiba, you know we can't risk it. So many people depend on us." To his credit, Sakurai sounded sincerely sorry.

"We're not telling you to let us onto the island immediately," Matsumoto said, a bit calmer, but also sounding more defeated. "We know that most infected people turn within the first twenty-four hours. Put us in a place where we're safe and we'll take care of him."

"I'll talk to doctor Ohno, see if we can do something." He looked alternately between the three of us, many questions clear in his eyes. In the end, he sighed. "You're lucky we both are your friends."

"I already knew that." Masaki was grinning and I felt like crying. He probably really believed I still had a chance, that the three of us would somehow get our happy ending.

Sakurai dismissed the other people that were going to follow us and took us himself inside the building. I couldn't imagine what it had been back then. It was just a small two-story building with a long corridor and doors at either side. Through some open doors I saw bunk beds and provisions. He opened one of the closed doors for us.

"Usually we put a person per room, but since we're already breaching protocol... I guess you'd rather be together." Sakurai looked at us with pity. I just turned and walked inside, Masaki and Momo close on my heels. It was a bare room: white walls, tiled floor and nothing to sit on.

"Thank you," Matsumoto said in a exhale of emotion and shook his hand before going inside with us.

"Be back in a second," was Sakurai's only answer before turning around and closing the door. We heard a key turning and we were effectively locked in.

"You didn't have to do that. The sooner we get this done this, the better," I said as I sat with my back to the wall opposite to the door.

"Shut up and enjoy our damn company," Matsumoto snapped and sat beside me, our shoulders and legs touching.

"Don't talk like that. It could all be nothing," Masaki said in a soft voice, sitting beside me and kissing my cheek. "Satoshi is a good doctor. He'll know better than I would."

We barely got a minute alone before the door unlocked and Sakurai came back with a smaller man in tow. Matsumoto greeted him with a smile, but Masaki stood up and rushed to take his arm.

"Satoshi, I've missed you. You have to examine Nino first, we don't know..." I stopped paying attention to his ramblings and locked eyes with the doctor.

"A shame to meet you in these circumstances, Doctor Ohno," I said as a manner of greeting. He just nodded.

"Do you feel safe doing this alone?" Sakurai asked the doctor and he nodded again.

"It's been just a couple of hours since the incident, right?" he talked as if every word was an added effort. He pointed to the gun that hung on his hip. "I'll be fine."

With that Sakurai left and locked the door. He was probably standing outside anyway; I could not imagine that he would abandon their precious doctor like that. I stood and took my shirt off to show him my wounded arms and back.

"I need to examine you completely," he said, scratching the back of his head.

"Don't you have enough with this?" I huffed. "I have wounds all over me."

"Yes, but not a single bite," he answered, pointing at my arms.

"I didn't have so many wounds before. This can't all be because of falling to the ground."

"Oh, no. That thing scratched you good," he added quickly, "but I need to see if you have any bites."

I turned to the other two and Matsumoto just shrugged. Masaki was looking at me with hope in his eyes. For him, Ohno saying that was probably as good as a confirmation that I would live. I took my shoes and pants off.

"Just more scratches..." Ohno crouched to look at my legs up close, then looked up at me. "Go on."

"Are you serious?" I snorted.

"I need to see if you have any bites," he repeated, this time a bit more impatiently. With my face completely red, I took my underwear off. It didn't help that Ohno examined the rest of my body as closely as he had my arms and legs. Finally, he stood up. "You can get dressed. No bites."

"Does that mean he'll be okay?" Masaki jumped to ask.

"We don't know," Ohno shrugged. "A bite would have a one-hundred percent virus transfer probability, but I've seen mixed results with scratches. Some do, some don't; we don't know yet the deciding factor."

"So, we just have to wait?" Matsumoto asked carefully.

"Well..." Ohno scratched his nose awkwardly. "The people outside with the big guns will want to put you down now, but it's not the first time I've had to knock some sense into their heads. They are too scared to be curious and that never brings anything good. I also have a thing... Aiba, do you want to go next?"

"Okay." Masaki jumped to his feet and started undressing without a trace of shame, not even when Ohno started walking around him with his nose just a couple of centimetres away from his skin. Since the doctor had fallen silent again, Masaki prompted him. "What thing do you have?"

"A vaccine..." Ohno muttered, but he opened his eyes wider at the sight of Masaki's smile. "It's gotten mixed results too. We really don't understand yet exactly what it is that causes the infection to spread. No bites, get dressed."

"What kind of mixed results?" Matsumoto asked, getting to his feet and crossing his arms.

"Undress," Ohno instructed him, scrunching his nose.

"Not until you tell me, Satoshi." Matsumoto gave him half a smile that made Ohno sigh.

"I've applied it to people with both scratches and bites. No effect if applied after the first five hours. A number of people with scratches didn't turn. About fifteen of the people with bites didn't turn, so we know it does sometimes work. The side effects left some on the verge of death."

"But none of them died because of the vaccine?"

"Not a single one. We took good care of them."

"Go and get it," he practically ordered Ohno, which made him frown with his whole face.

"I have to examine you for bites," he protested.

"You can do that after vaccinating Nino."

Ohno huffed, but turned around and knocked on the door. Without a word, he left as soon as Sakurai opened the door. Without hesitation, Sakurai went inside and closed the door after him, but didn't lock it.

"What have you told Ohno?" he asked with a curious smile.

"Jun told him how to do his work," Masaki answered. Since being found, his mood had risen, but now he was glowing. I couldn't feel that optimistic, so I went back to the wall and sat down. We didn't know it would work and, seeing my luck in the past, we had high chances that it wouldn't.

Matsumoto was complaining in the background about priorities and Sakurai was just laughing out loud. Too loud, I thought as I let my forehead rest on my knees. I felt a warm arm around me, soft lips on the top of my head. Masaki was by my side and, at least, his presence was comforting.

"It's going to be okay," he whispered in my ear. I shook my head.

"You don't know that," I whimpered.

"I do," he answered with more confidence that I had ever felt. "Fate brought you to us so we could be happy together. You can't die now."

Flawless logic, at least to Masaki, I supposed. It made me smile, at least.

"So... I didn't want to ask, but..." Sakurai's voice came to us. Masaki looked up, but I didn't. I felt too good with my head nestled on the space between his shoulder and neck to move, "Ninomiya is..."

"He's our boyfriend now," Masaki said brightly. I groaned a bit, but didn't contradict him.

"Yeah, we found him in a dumpster," Matsumoto added.

"You didn't." I raised my head to glare daggers at him, which only made him laugh. I turned to look at Sakurai. "They saved my life when I was about to die of exhaustion. You... you have good friends."

"I know." Sakurai smiled softly at me. "And Masaki is mostly right, Ninomiya. We've had an acceptable rate of success with the vaccine in cases like yours. It won't hurt you to get your hopes up a bit."

At that moment, the door opened again and Doctor Ohno came inside carrying a small box in his hand. Without a word, he opened it and started to fill a big syringe in some vials and mix them up inside. He motioned toward one of the walls.

"I recommend you put your hands on the wall," he said, and I immediately got up and did as he had said. "This is going to hurt."

At those words, I felt a whirl of motion on either side of me. In a second, Masaki and Matsumoto were both holding my hands.

"You can squeeze as hard as you want," Masaki reassured me.

"Just don't break any skin," Matsumoto added, but gave me a quick peck on the lips. "You're going to be fine, you're in good hands."

By which he probably meant Doctor Ohno, but I squeezed their hands softly. Yes, I was; they were there. Without any preamble, Ohno pulled my pants down enough to expose half of my butt cheek and stuck the syringe into the top part. The needle was nothing more than a mosquito bite. It was the thick liquid that made me writhe in pain.

I clenched my teeth, instinctively squeezing both hands, but it wasn't enough. The pain dragged on and I grunted, used all my self-control not to start kicking the wall. When Ohno took the syringe out I threw myself onto the floor and it still hurt.

"What the fuck is that?" I shouted at no one in particular.

"It's parts of..."

"I don't think he means that, Satoshi," Sakurai interrupted him. "Just tell them what to expect."

"The pain will recede in a few minutes," he continued talking in his calm voice. "But then it will flare throughout your whole body. I'll leave some painkillers for that, but don't expect them to take all the pain away. You'll probably get feverish and fall unconscious. That's all normal. In twelve hours you should start feeling better."

"And how will we know if it works?" Matsumoto asked.

"Twenty-four hours will pass and he'll still be human." I wasn't looking at him, but I bet he shrugged. "The secondary effects of the vaccine are very similar to the virus' symptoms, so it will be hard to tell. I'm leaving medicine with you to give him; it's all labeled for lay people. If he doesn't start feeling better in twelve hours, it probably means it failed. Now get undressed."

"Thank you," Masaki and Matsumoto said at the same time. Matsumoto left my side to get his check done quickly. In less than a minute I heard Ohno's "no bites" and the door closing, and Matsumoto was again holding my hand.

"Someone will be posted at the door," Sakurai said. "I'll make sure food and water are sent to you. You two can go out if you want to stretch your legs, but..."

"Unlikely."

"We won't."

"That's what I thought," Sakurai sighed. "Good luck. I look forward getting to know you better, Ninomiya."

I couldn't answer, I was just kneeling on the floor writhing in pain, holding my lovers' hands and hearing their voices close to my ears. I couldn't make their words out, but just having them close was enough.

* * *

As promised by the doctor, after a few minutes I stopped hurting. Masaki and Matsumoto used that time to go to the door and ask for pillows, blankets, jackets... anything they had around to make provisional bedding for me. In the meantime, I lay on the floor with my head on Masaki's thigh.

When the door opened again, I let them put blankets on the floor and cover me with a coat, but I didn't let go of Masaki's thigh. It felt much better than any pillow could ever have. And I thought that if there was a moment to be selfish, that was the one. That was my last thought before my blood started burning inside my veins. Then I felt a small puncture on one arm and nothing more.

When I came to again, the pain was more manageable, but I was sweating and shivering. I felt so cold, I turned to cuddle to a source of heat that was touching my arm. It covered me completely. I still felt cold under my skin, but I smiled. The touch on my skin comforted me.

"Nino, can you hear me?" It was Masaki's voice on my ear. Then the warmth moved a bit only to return.

"Kazu, you can do this," Matsumoto said. I wanted to hug them tighter against me, but my arms wouldn't move. I opened my mouth to speak, but no words would come out. I managed to open my eyes and I could only see Matsumoto's face nearly touching mine.

"We're here with you," Masaki's voice came from behind me. I wanted to tell them that they didn't need to hug me right now, that it was disgusting with all the sweat that covered my skin. I managed to move my head. I wanted to look at Masaki too. Something else in the room caught my eye.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I shouted. Of course, my lips didn't move, but I heard my voice clearly. "Get out! Get him out!"

Masaki and Matsumoto ignored me, just cuddled me tighter and whispered encouraging words into my ears. Why didn't they do anything about that bastard? Who had let my ex into the room, anyway?

"I'll always find you, Kazu-chan. You can run, but you know you're mine," He smiled cruelly. I tried to crawl away from him, but my lovers' embrace was too tight for me to move even a bit. Then he laughed. "You can play the whore for those two all you want. I'll give you what you deserve."

I was breathless, trying to call for help, but unable to. I couldn't breathe. Good, I would die before I went back to that bastard. No. I shook my head.

"If you get close to me, I'll kill you," I whimpered. He laughed. "You don't have any power over me anymore! Go away!"

Suddenly, I could move one of my arms. I used it to straighten up; I was going to get up and punch the lights out of that bastard. Then everything turned black again.

I felt a lot cleaner when I woke up again. I felt soreness all over my body, but at least I wasn't sweating anymore and my skin smelled clean. I opened my eyes and saw that I was alone on the improvised bed. With my heart beating fast out of panic, I turned to my side to look around the room. Masaki was sitting not far away from me, drinking something with clouds of steam coming out of it. He left it on the floor and came to my side as soon as he saw me moving.

"You're awake again, thank goodness," he said and brushed the fringe out of my eyes. "How are you..."

"Where is that bastard?" my voice was hoarse and talking hurt, but it didn't matter.

"What? Why are you calling Jun a bastard?"

"Not him, not..." I coughed. Masaki rushed to bring me his cup and carefully put it to my lips.

"Drink, you'll feel better. The last time you were awake you were thrashing around and breathing so fast... we had to give you another tranquilizer. Jun is just out to stretch his legs a bit, he'll be back in a minute," Masaki explained patiently while I took small sips from the cup. It was tea and it felt so good both in my throat and in my whole body.

"I saw my ex here," I told him. "Was I...?"

"Only the two of us have been here. They won't even let Doctor Ohno in until twenty-four hours have gone by. They even examine us if we want to go out." Masaki put the cup aside and bent to kiss my forehead. "And we would never let that bastard near you again. We would kick his ass until he couldn't walk."

"So my boyfriend has a dark side, eh?" I smiled. "And here I thought you were all sunshine and rainbows."

"Only with the people who deserve it." Masaki lay down beside me and started to trace the shape of my face with his finger. "You called me your boyfriend."

"It's what you two are to me, right?" I shrugged and immediately regretted it. I was starting to feel the soreness of my muscles. "How long has it been?"

"Ten hours, you're nearly there."

"It could still not work," I said. "Don't get your hopes up."

"You're feeling better, aren't you?"

"It could be all the drugs you've given me." I swallowed. "If I have to go... forget about me. You two just go on with your life like you did before."

"As if we could ever forget you." Masaki frowned. "You're going to get better and, if you want to, we'll fucking marry you. Because we love you and I know you love us."

"I don't think they're going to let us get married." I laughed a bit and then started coughing again. Masaki rubbed my back until I could breathe again.

"Jun and I didn't marry officially, you know? We couldn't back then in Chiba," Masaki talked to me, his voice soothing again. "It didn't matter to us."

"How was it?" I asked. I couldn't speak much more, but I needed to hear him talk.

"Best day of my life. My parents are cooks, you know? They closed the restaurant that day and worked hard to prepare a lot of delicious food for us. All our friends were there. Well, Sho-chan and Ohno were living in Tokyo back then, so it was easier, but they would have come even if they had been in Kyoto. I wanted something simple, but you know Jun..."

I couldn't make out much more of his speech, but it all sounded beautiful. I wasn't asleep, but I felt very tired. It was absurd. I had never imagined getting married. It wasn't an option for me, so I convinced myself it wasn't something I wanted.

But then I imagined Matsumoto and Masaki in pristine white suits, walking by my side, people smiling at us, celebrating our love. It was an absurd thing to think about when I was on the verge of death. It was also my last thought before I fell asleep one last time.

* * *

Someone was holding my hand. I also heard a sobbing and then something wet fell on my cheek. Something was wrong. I opened my eyes and tried to stand up in the same movement, but I could barely lift my shoulders from the ground before falling back.

"Nino?"

"Nino!"

"Are you okay?"

The two voices started to ask one question after another and I could not make out a single word. Momo was also licking my face. I held my hand up for a second, before it felt too heavy. At least that made them silent and even Momo stopped drooling all over my face.

"Something happened?" I asked in a raspy voice. Both of them had streaks of tears falling down their faces. I hadn't seen Matsumoto cry like this before, didn't even think he was capable of it. Masaki, who was sitting next to me, threw himself to the floor and crushed me in an embrace.

"It's been fourteen hours, you idiot!" he said and started to sob again, this time against my chest. "You weren't waking up."

"How dare you make us think you were going to die?" Matsumoto crawled until he was kneeling beside me, still not touching me. "Masaki said you were feeling better and then just fell unconscious. I didn't even get to see you."

"Sorry," I muttered and tried to push Masaki a bit away from me. It was hard to breath. "I'm sorry to both of you. Masaki, I need to breathe."

"How do you feel?" Matsumoto asked as Masaki loosened his grip, but kept his face buried against my chest. I thought about it for a second.

"I'm tired," I said. "I feel as if I had run across the country in one go."

Matsumoto then touched my forehead and held my eyelids open to look at my eyes.

"You don't have a fever anymore," Matsumoto sighed. "Those assholes should be satisfied with this and let you rest on a real bed now."

"So I'm not infected?" I asked weakly.

"We already knew that a couple of hours ago," Matsumoto huffed. "We thought we would lose you to the secondary effects. Why wouldn't you wake up?"

I extended my arm towards him and, at last, he lay beside me and hugged me too, burying his face in the curve of my neck. Immediately, I started to feel his tears falling against my skin. I probably shed a couple of my own too, but who would notice among the rivers these two men were crying?

"What now?" I asked after all of us had calmed down.

"Now you rest and get better," Matsumoto chastised me.

"We'll go to a safe place," Masaki answered instead, rising a bit to meet my eyes. "They have brought the samples and they will examine them in their laboratories. Sho-chan doesn't want to promise anything, but he thinks the data we brought is going to be very useful. Our job is done, Nino."

"So, like I said, the only thing you have to worry about now is to get your strength back." Matsumoto sniffled, but also got away to look at me. "Sakurai has told me that he will gladly house us when we reach the island. But there are many houses that need to be repaired."

"Jun and I will work hard on it while you recover," Masaki said, his bright smile slowly insinuating in his face.

"Are you two proposing that we live together?" I asked, mouth open in a small circle of fake shock. The both of them looked at each other for a moment. "Because nothing would make me happier."


Epilogue

It's a curious thing how sometimes time goes by so slowly and, others, it flies away. The year I lived in the survivor's camp felt like a decade. The five years I spent on the island with Jun and Masaki barely felt like a sigh of time.

We were busy, for sure. At first, we had to clean and restore one of the many abandoned houses to be able to move in. Sho-san was a good host, taking into account all the time he spent in the laboratory, but very soon we started craving a bit of privacy. In about a week I was at the top of my strength and not even a week later we moved into our brand new home. Masaki cried and I saw Jun's eyes sparkling with tears. And maybe I dropped a couple of them. For the first time since my childhood days, I was in a house that felt like home.

After that, things got even busier. Satoshi's vaccine wasn't perfect yet, but it was better than nothing and people needed it. We didn't doubt it for a second and became part of the couriers that delivered it and every new version to the camps around us. When we weren't out on the road, I also spent some time in the communications tower, trying to get in contact with or, at least, bring a message of hope to camps farther away.

We were still in the middle of the apocalypse, but we found our routine and it made things feel nearly normal. We took turns making breakfast, walked Momo together in the mornings and spent the days helping the best we could. When the sun went down, we said goodbye to our friends and the four of us would go back home. After dinner and making sure Momo was settled to sleep, we went together to bed. The first months we made love every night, but after that, some nights we only had enough energy to cuddle. For some reason, both felt equally good.

Between the vaccines and poisons that our team of scientists made and our armed group's sacrifices, we eventually took Kyoto back. The three of us didn't move there, didn't see any reason why we should. We had enough to do on the island and it was our home now. Our courier network got stronger as people got bolder. We started to get answers from people farther away. Other teams had their own vaccines, replicated our own, fought back for their cities.

And, like that, five years flew by. We had been talking about making this decision before, but there was so much to do that it always came to nothing. But we nearly had eradicated the plague and we could stop the virus from spreading even if we were bitten. We had done our job and it was time for Jun and Masaki to go back home.

We had secured a jeep in the city and had our few belongings packed outside. Sho and Satoshi had taken a few hours off to help us take everything onto the boat and, then, into the car. I walked through the empty rooms while the others loaded our things onto a cart to take to the port.

"It has been a good time." Masaki smiled at me from the doorway. "I'm going to miss this place too."

"This town is a shithole. I'm sure your place is way better," I huffed and walked toward him. He took my hand and stopped me.

"This is the home we built together." his voice was full of emotion. "This is the place where we became a family. Of course, we're going to miss it."

"I know that," I sighed and threw myself into his arms. Soon, we felt another pair of arms surrounding us.

"Come on, don't cry." Jun's own voice sounded tight. "Puppy, you're going to love Chiba and Masaki's parents are going to adore you. And there is this field where Momo can run loose... it's going to be better there."

"We know," both Masaki and I cried at the same time. Some minutes later, we said goodbye and closed the door after us.

"Good thing we chose to move the things so much earlier than when the boat is leaving," Jun muttered as we started to push the cart. Sho laughed at that. The short trip on the boat and the slightly longer to Kyoto were spent in comfortable silence. We were going to miss our friends too. At that moment, my heart couldn't understand why we were leaving at all.

We went to where we had left our jeep, loaded our things in silence, made sure to leave on the back seat the stuff we would need during the trip and closed the doors.

"We'll go visit you soon," Sho said. "We have been in contact with people in Tokyo and are planning to go there to help. They seem to be having trouble in some areas."

"We'll make sure to have a guest room ready for you." Jun bowed slightly, with a smile on his lips.

"Just... try to contact us when you are home," Sho said. And then hugged each of us in turn. "Things are still not great out there, but I understand..."

"It's your time to go back home," Satoshi nodded, not getting any closer to us. I went and crushed him in a hug.

"I'm going to miss you, Satopi," I said. We had absolutely nothing in common, and yet we had grown pretty close during these five years. "Make sure Sho eats good food every day."

"And you make sure Satoshi sleeps properly." Jun pointed a menacing finger at Sho. "I don't want to hear about him going back to sleep on the floor."

"It's more convenient than going back to the apartment," Satoshi muttered.

"We'll be fine," Sho assured us. "You too, take care of each other."

"Always," Masaki said.

With a last round of hugs, the four of us got into the jeep and drove out of the city. It was nearly absurd how fast kilometers went by now that the roads were in a more or less acceptable state and our car wouldn't fall apart if we sped too much.

In little more than three hours we were around the area where we found Momo, but we didn't see the exact resting area. We stopped in the first one we saw around to eat something before changing drivers. Being on the road like that felt at the same time familiar and uncomfortable.

"We're halfway through," Masaki said excitedly as he opened his bento. "In less than three hours we'll be home."

"Don't expect everything to be how we left it," Jun said and squeezed Masaki's knee. "It's been a while and so many things have changed."

"It will be even better than it was," Masaki smiled brightly. "We'll probably have to look for a house again. It's going to be fun."

"Fun is a relative concept. I'd rather we found one that we could just move into," Jun muttered around a mouthful of rice.

"Will we be living with your parents until then?" I asked casually, not taking my eyes from Momo eating scraps out of my hand, my own food untouched.

"Yes, maybe my brother and his family will be there too. Oh dear, our niece must have gotten so big now. I wonder if she'll remember us..."

"Don't worry, Kazu. They're really good people." Jun reached for my face so I looked him in the eye. "And you're a charmer. In an hour, you'll be their favorite son."

"Sure," I laughed, but felt a bit of relief. It wasn't going to be easy for me to find my place in a family that already had a long history together. Then again, it hadn't taken me more than a week to find my place with these guys. If they were anything like Masaki, it would be fine.

When we finished our meal, we went back to the jeep and connected the communication radio again. We had contacted Chiba a few days before leaving, but had been unable to talk to them since.
While Jun rested on the backseat with Momo on his chest, Masaki and I went around the frequencies where we had been able to speak with them before.

"Hello Chiba, this is Aiba Masaki, can you hear me?” he said time and again, waited for an answer and changed the frequency. Nothing yet.

"Ninomiya Kazunari here, can you hear us?" I asked on the next number, already bored of this. The sound of static crackled. I raised an eyebrow. "Chiba, can you hear us?"

"Ninomiya-san?" The voice of a woman came choppy from the other side. "This is Chiba."

"Mom?" Masaki shouted excitedly. "It's me! We're halfway through! In some four hours we'll be home!"

"Masaki? Darling, are you guys okay?" Mrs. Aiba started screaming on the other side, as excited as her son. "This stupid machine broke on us, we're still repairing it."

"Thank goodness you're all okay," Masaki said before his mom could even finish speaking. I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Good morning, Mrs. Aiba," Jun greeted her. "Hope you're excited to get these three moochers back in your house."

"And Momo," Masaki added.

"You can't imagine how happy the whole town is to have you back." Mrs. Aiba sobbed a bit, or maybe it was just static. "And the Aiba family can't wait to meet its new member."

"Thank you..." I said, a bit out of breath, when Masaki and Jun both turned to look at me, as if it hadn't been clear who Mrs. Aiba was referring to. "I can't wait to meet you too."

"I wished this thing worked better, we could..." Whatever came next was lost to jumps of static. "Be careful and come home safe!"

Those were the last words we could hear before the connection broke. I turned the radio off. The other two were looking at me with a smile; even Momo seemed to have a smug face for me. But they didn't say anything about being right. Masaki prepared to turn on the ignition key.

"Are you ready to come home?" he asked me. I laughed out loud, out of pure happiness.

"More than ever."

Comments

[yukitsubute]

My spot ❤

Dear Anon-san, first of all, thank you soooooo much for writing this perfect story for me. ❤❤

I saw the summary and I thought: OMG, OMG, the zombie prompt. You don't know how much I wanted to read an apocalypse story. 😄

And then I saw the pairing and I was like: OMG...OMG....really? All three of them? My two precious otps? ❤❤❤ *freaksout*

To be honest I am not a big fan of 1POV, BUT you created a perfect story and all characters are so perfectly described. I don't like the first person much, because a lot of people can't catch the other characters well, but you knew how to make a perfect mood and how you catch the others even though we only have Nino's POV. I was sooooo into reading every bit of it. 😍

I love the difference between the three of them and how their life had been before, and how different they are, but how well they work together. I loved the established JunBa relationship and how Nino kind of slipped into their life and he immediately fit for them. ❤ the idea that Nino can give Jun something Aiba can't is sooo interesting and it fit so perfectly.
First I thought Jun would never get along with Nino, but in the end he loved him like Aiba did. ❤❤

I can't imagine that you haven't seen walking dead, because the whole world you created was soooo perfect, really. And it was so easy for me to get lost in your story and the world you have created.

I loved the idea that Ohno and Sho found a way to stop the apocalypse and slowly the world turns into a normal one again. ❤ and of course I loved that they decided to stay together in the end ❤❤❤

The smut parts fit so well in the flow of the story and they got closer and closer. I loved how they accepted Nino and their bond grew stronger with every day they spend together. Poor Nino had a hard past, but now he gets what he needs and what I really wish for him, Aiba and Jun will take good care of him. ❤

The three of them were so balanced and mature, I really loved that. ❤ Aiba and his good-hearted character, and Jun the cold but inside weak one, I have a soft spot for that. ❤❤ I loved that Nino was kind of a brat (or I don't know how to call it...his attitude that he takes what he wants) but he stops with it, when he is with JunBa.

I have already read the story twice, and I think I will reread it again 😄 I am really lazy reading at the moment, but your story is on my reading list on the phone to find it immediately ❤❤

So, I think I can't say more than: thank you soooooo much anon-san, I soooo loved the story, and I am so happy that I got the prompt I really wished to get one day, but I never thought that I would really get it.
And then you wrote me aimiyamoto, something I never dreamed to get one day. ❤❤❤ I love you a anon-san, thank you ❤❤❤

[kami06fr]

Hi !

This was everything I've ever wanted omg. Survival AUs are one of my favorite things because what brings people closer than trying to survive together ? Zombies are a first for me, never read or saw anything with them so it was really refreshing and I like that it brought a little touch of anxiety. The dynamics of the couple were amazing, I find it very beautiful that an established couple takes a liking to someone else and incorporate this person in its life <3 The balance between angst and sexy times was also on point ! (bonus for Jun's kink eheh).

Thank you for writing this, I enjoyed it a lot ! :D

[amh1988]

Ah, honestly, I don't think I've read a first person POV since Meg Cabots Mediater series. But I know they are so much more difficult to do in fanfic, where if you don't get the character _just_ right, the whole story can sound odd. But you got inside Nino's head so perfectly. It was so well written, and such a tight story. Thank you for sharing anon.

[nicefinalbeam]

I know this is Nino Exchange, but I love that you captured Aiba's love of all things in this story. Even at a time when being trusting is a risk, he's so willing to help Nino and eventually Momo too, recognizing that even animals need help in the zombie apocalypse!!

I really liked that Nino respected Jun and Aiba's relationship enough to be cautious about coming into it, though I'm sure his prior experiences also made him a little untrusting at first. But maybe the hardship he'd faced before helped him survive too! Glad that he was able to let himself believe in Aiba and Jun and that in the end they were able to make it work all together. ♥

[reveetoile]

This was such a great story. Thank you so much for sharing it. The relationship between the three of them was so well written. It was easy to see that Jun and Aiba are so much in love and perfect for each other and that Nino fits in quite easily. Even if Nino doesn't belief he does it was easy to see that from the outside.
I'm so happy that they are together and so very much in love in the end ^^

[bluelight89]

As a fan of the Walking Dead i really liked this setting! I liked the mix of adventure and romance, Nino Jun and Aiba are beautiful together^^ Thanks for sharing=)