Nino Mod (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
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ninoexchange2018-06-24 08:06 am
nino_mod) wrote in ninoexchange2018-06-24 08:06 am
Entry tags:
fic for selvage!
For: selvage
From: :3.
Title: The Exercise
Pairing/Focus: Ohmiya, implied Sho/??
Rating: PG - 13
Word count: 6952 words
Warnings: OCness. Some swearing. Lots of going on in Nino’s mind.
Summary: Who was he kidding anyway? He was in love with this man. And it was Nino’s daily exercise to hide it. How did this exercise start anyway?
Notes: Hey there @cutselvage! I’m really hoping you accept college AU. I think there’s also OOCness here and there. I tried my best but I think my best isn’t good enough. All I’m saying is, I hope you’ll like this fic even just for a bit. (But you’re free to throw this at me when you know who I am at the end of the exchange.) Thanks to Mod-san for being so considerate, and my beta who’s always warm and fuzzy and just wonderfully awesome.
Nino wasn’t a fan of exercising. He hated moving around. He hated it when beads of sweat would form and trickle down on his skin, making his clothes damp and sticky. And the smell - don’t even let Nino start about it - because he could go on and on. Okay, maybe that was an exaggeration. But, seriously, who invented exercise anyway? Wasn’t waking up and living from day to day enough exercise already?
If Aiba would hear him complaining, his best friend would do his hyena-like laugh. Aiba would be clutching his stomach like it was the funniest thing Nino ever said. Nino would definitely glare at Aiba because seriously, it wasn’t funny.“But it is, Ninomi,” Aiba would say at mid-laugh, and NIno would ask himself why he was friends with that idiot.
Sho, on the other hand, would convince him why it was important to do exercise. He would list all the benefits of it, detailing how good Nino’s body would feel after every workout.
And then there’s Jun, who would definitely provide supplementary details on what Sho just shared.
Why was he thinking about exercising anyway?
“Earth to Kazu? You still there?”
Oh right! He was exercising that very moment...by lifting some things.
“Sorry, Oh-chan… I’m just taking a breather here. You managed to take my breath away,” NIno said with a small smile. a deep breath, then huffed it out before lifting again the three medium canvases of Ohno’s paintings that he had been carrying before his little break.
They were in a gallery inside a mall in Odaiba, preparing for Ohno’s exhibit, and, for the love of god (or gods), why did Nino join the manual labor again? Well, this was Ohno’s exhibit, and Nino wasn’t going to sit around and miss out on helping Ohno realise his dream firsthand.
“Well, you didn’t need to do this stuff, you know,” Ohno said, scratching the back of his neck with a shy smile. With the light above them, NIno noticed a tinge of red color on Ohno’s sun-kissed skin. NIno realized the implication of his words earlier, and he couldn’t help but smirk, quite proud that he could still get such a reaction from Ohno even after all those years.
“Well, if you have been using that body of yours to move more frequently than just laze around in your room for hours, playing those damn video games, maybe you wouldn’t be so tired carrying just three canvases that aren’t even bigger than you,” Jun said, stopping near them.
Trust Jun to never cut Nino some slack. Nino did have a good reason why he got tired easily from lifting those canvasses. They had been coming back and forth from the truck that delivered Ohno’s art pieces to the venue of the exhibit, which was inconveniently situated on the second floor. Their pathway, that was hidden to the mall-goers, wasn’t air conditioned. And the worst had revealed itself. Apparently, the elevator chose that day to malfunction.
“I’m hurt, Jun-pon. And I thought you love those damn video games. Oh--- wait, you don’t… since you can’t beat me yet in Mario Kart,” Nino bit back, although both their words didn’t really have much of a bite. It was just like a brotherly banter between long-time friends.
“Well, these are the last ones anyway,” Jun said, pertaining to the art pieces he was holding. Nino sighed in relief. Jun didn’t comment. He just shook his head and went ahead. Ohno stayed behind, and then got the three canvases from Nino’s hold.
“Thanks for coming. I really appreciate it, knowing you really don’t like leaving your dorm room, unless it’s necessary,” Ohno said in a hushed tone.
Nino’s heart wasn’t beating faster. Nope, nope, nope. It didn’t bring butterflies in his tummy too. Nope. Nope. Nope.
Who was he kidding anyway? He was in love with his this man. And it was Nino’s daily exercise to hide it. How did this exercise start anyway?
STRENGTH
They met on Nino’s second year in university. He was taking a degree in Music, majoring in Modern Music. He had a major music block then. Or maybe it was more like lyrics block? Ever since his professor said that their final project would be a composition of any genre they liked, he just couldn’t create the lyrics that would go with the music that was stuck in his head for weeks. He didn’t have a hard time finding the right tune he wanted to make, but creating lyrics was a different story. And, with each day, the deadline was getting closer, like literally the dead line.
Nino considered asking help from Sho, since the man had been taking journalism. Although creating articles and lyrics were entirely different, he knew Sho could make it work with all the words popping out from the future newscaster’s brain. But then, the output won’t be personal, and his professor did say to “put yourself in it”. So his backup plan was scrapped even before he really thought further about it.
Since he was not fond of the outdoors, and he didn’t really like moping inside his dorm room, unless he was smashing buttons on his game console, Nino would spend most of his free time in the library at the Arts building. Unlike the libraries at the Technical building, which would be packed with students reviewing for their finals, the library at the 2nd floor of the Arts building was mostly vacant. There were times when Nino had it all to himself, aside from the librarians assigned there.
Seriously, the lyrics block was so damn strong that he would always start writing the tune on a music score without any lyrics, then end up folding it to form an airplane and letting it fly through the window he would always open whenever he was there.
He didn’t think those paper planes would land at something, or better yet, someone.
It had been one of those days when he had just finished writing the whole tune on the music score, and once again, no words would come out of his brain to go along with it. With a disappointed sigh, he folded it neatly and then let it fly. He whistled a short tune and next thing he knew, a breeze blew softly inside the room. It lifted another paper plane he just made and he let it fly outside as the wind played the tune he created.
That was what he loved most about his gift. He would just whistle a part of a tune and then let the wind continue it for him as long as he would concentrate on it. Most of the time, it overjoyed him to hear the music he created, without instruments, but just the soft tingling of the wind. But, like any other day of his lyrics block, the music dwindled and the breeze plummeted, bringing the paper plane he set off to land down somewhere outside. As always.
Nino slumped on his chair, crossing his arms above his chest and donning a pout on his face. It hadn’t been a productive day yet again, and Nino was getting restless. He was seriously considering getting Sho’s help due to the low progress he was making, but he really wanted this to be personal, and not just because his professor had told him to do so.
His ears perked up when he heard a paper rustling from outside, and the next thing he knew, the paper airplane he had ‘thrown away’ flew back, landing at the table in front of him. And when Nino said it flew back, he meant the paper plane’s wings flapped up and down like a bird. Nino blinked, quite shocked.
“How did-?” Nino muttered as he reached for the paper and unfolded it. He found small doodles around the score sheet. They were rainbows and birds inside. Nino let out a gasp, and then looked at the paper closely. He was sure its wings moved a little before it settled. Huh?
Furthermore, he didn’t make those doodles because they were done quite well, and he admitted to himself that he wasn’t that talented for such artistry. He stood up and went to the window to shed some light to the mysteries the paper brought. He took a peek outside, and, down below, he saw someone that took his breath away.
“So, it was you, huh…”
The man below probably shouted since they were a floor apart, and in some odd way, it made Nino shiver in anticipation.
“Erm… Hi?” Nino said with an awkward wave. He silently cursed himself for being a goof all of a sudden. That was Aiba’s job.
The other man let out a chuckle, shaking his head, then walked away. Nino grew nervous, not knowing what the other man was thinking, but Nino was sure that he was heading towards the entrance of the Arts building. Was the other man mad at him?
Nino then hastily gathered his things. If the man was indeed mad at him, he better hide or something. Not that the guy had a face of someone who is an asshole. If Nino would be honest, the guy was actually cute, like an angel.
“So, it had been you who were throwing those paper planes,” a curious voice interrupted, and Nino almost jumped out of fright because he was always alone there.
Nino snapped his head towards the voice. He felt momentarily dizzy with the whiplash, but it didn’t stop him from gaping at the other person in the room.
“Although I won’t really call it throwing away,” the other man added as an afterthought.
Nino, on the other hand, just ogled. He was probably drooling too, but he managed to collect his wits when he noticed that the silence was getting louder between them.
“I have no idea what you mean, Mr…?” Nino inwardly cursed at how lamely he handled the situation. He was better than this. Heck, he was the best. But there was just something with that guy standing in front of him, something entrailling that left him tongue-tied.
“Ohno Satoshi… but I’d rather you don’t call me by my full name, or I’ll think my mom is the one calling because of something bad that I did perhaps,” Ohno, as Nino learned, said with a smile. And just like that, Nino’s nervousness dissipated. Not completely, but Ohno’s smile helped in calming his nerves.
“Oh~” Nino reacted with a perfect “O”-shaped mouth. Okay, he was definitely acting like a loser now. If his friends were around, he would never hear the end of this. Good thing they weren’t. He didn’t want to hear Aiba’s endless teasing.
It seemed though that Ohno wasn’t a good conversationalist, too. He just stood there with an awkward stance, his back slouched and his hand scratching the back of his neck. But Nino found it rather cute.
There was silence again between them, and Nino wasn’t sure yet whether that silence was comfortable or not, but, standing opposite each other, with a table in between, seemed to look really ridiculous from an outsider’s perspective.
“Okay, I got to admit. I’m the one throwing the paper planes,” Nino said truthfully, raising both hands in defeat. Ohno, who had remained silent, raised a delicate eyebrow and gave a lopsided smile. “But I was doing it to train my muscle. You know, checking my arm strength by measuring how far the paper plane will go,” Nino added, silently congratulating himself because he was able to say that with a straight face. Talking about exercising was definitely something people would never hear from Nino. It wasn’t in his vocabulary. And, here he was, talking about it to a total - and beautiful, if he may add - stranger.
Nino didn’t feel dreadful at all, even if he sounded like a sore-loser. Not at all, especially when Ohno beamed at him with amusement. Nino, too, was beaming, because no matter how bizarre their encounter was that day, he felt it won’t be the last.
“Don’t worry. I think your arm strength is fine, because it hit the same spot every day. No improvements needed,” Ohno chimed, rubbing an imaginary spot on his hair to make a point.
Nino laughed at that, glad that his paper planes landed onto something, or rather, someone.
(And who would've guessed that it would be Ohno who would cure his lyrics block because after that day, Nino managed to finish his song, complete with lyrics. Still, he didn’t submit that song for his finals. He felt that it was too personal to submit. Maybe that song will come in handy for something else in the future.)
BALANCE
Just like that, Ohno became part of Nino’s life, as if he had been present all throughout the years. It was like Ohno had been the missing puzzle that Nino had been looking for, and that was an exaggeration even on his part. But it was really like that. He felt complete being with the older man, may it be in the most important moments of his life like when he finally defeated the boss on his game, or even just in mundane moments like when he aced his finals not related to music at all. (Okay, Nino really needs to set his priorities right because surely acing exams was more important than defeating boss generals on one of his games.)
Being with Ohno was a thrill he liked. It made Nino excited, but at the same time, he was frightened by it. He never felt something like this before.
“You’re staring again,” someone said from his right, interrupting Nino’s train of thoughts.
Nino looked sideways, a bored expression etched on his face. “Thanks for stating obvious, Captain Obvious,” Nino snapped, but there wasn’t really a bite on it. It seemed the newcomer didn’t take offense either since the man just shrugged.
“Come on, Jun-pon… How can you not stare when there’s something to stare at,” Nino added later on, trying to lighten the mood. Jun smirked at Nino’s words, shaking his head in amusement.
They were at the university’s auditorium because it was a free period. Rather than spending it in the library or the music room like he used to do, he was there, watching the rehearsal.
The Drama club was going to have a production for the university's festival. Despite Ohno not being a member, he was recruited to join that production because of his talents in dancing and singing. Jun made sure he was the lead, and no one dared to say otherwise because no one wanted to mess with the Drama club president.
That reminded Nino, “What are you doing here?” he inquired, raising an eyebrow towards Jun. “Shouldn’t the Drama club president be watching the run-through closely?” Nino pointed out.
Jun shrugged, leaning back on his seat. “Well, the view is better here,” he explained, pertaining to where they were sitting, at the last row of seats in the auditorium. “Plus, Keiko can handle it for now while I’m at break,” Jun added. His voice had a hint of pride for his vice president.
Nino nodded absent-mindedly, focusing his gaze back to the stage.
“You really like Ohno-san, huh?” Jun stated, looking at Nino like he was a specimen to observe.
Nino raised an eyebrow, but didn’t say any word to either fully confirm or deny Jun’s accusation. “I flirt with him, don’t I?” Nino added (un)helpfully.
“Because you don’t know what to do with those feelings…” Jun said. It was a statement rather than a question.
Nino opened his mouth to argue, but stopped himself.
Jun had a point. Looking back, from the time he had met Ohno till that day, he had been openly flirting with the older male. He would spout different innuendos here and there. What those hints meant weren’t clear yet with Nino though, and that was scaring him in ways he couldn’t explain.
Wait, why was he talking about feelings with Jun anyway? Not that they weren’t close or anything. They basically grew up together with Aiba, so it was fine, but it was a touchy topic he rather not dwell on.
“Feelings, huh?” Nino muttered with a smirk, like it was some kind of a joke that humored him. But feelings weren’t meant to be joked around. It was something to be serious about. Was he serious with this one, then?
Nino looked at Jun again after the latter clicked his tongue. He smiled, but it came as a grimace. “It’s fun to flirt with him,” Nino said, but it didn’t sound convincing enough, even to himself admittedly.
“Yeah, sure. I believe you,” Jun said, patting Nino’s back with a smile before standing up. “I better get back. I need to check if the props are in full condition before the festival.” The festival would happen a day after tomorrow. That was why rehearsals were on full blast. Not that the Drama club was lacking in anything. The lead was no doubt the best in Nino’s - biased - opinion and the president - ever Mr. Stoic - made sure everything was perfect even to the last details.
Jun suddenly stopped in his tracks, turning back. Nino looked expectantly because he knew Jun would say something more, and he didn’t disappoint.
“Just…” Jun started, contemplating what he would say next, his mouth opening and closing several times. He sighed, then finally, “Uhm, tone it down. If you flirt too much, it may be quite hard to fathom whether you’re serious or not,” Jun advised, offering an understanding smile before heading out.
Nino looked at Jun with a deep thought, wondering if he overdid the flirting with Ohno to an extent. Wait, was it time to actually worry on such things? They were just friends, right?
Nino found himself thinking about it through the rest of the day. He moved automatically like a robot, whether he was attending his classes, or when he hung out with his friends at a cafe to grab dinner. If anyone noticed how aloof he was, no one said a word, except...
“Is something bothering you?” Ohno asked after some time.
They were walking closely side by side, through the busy streets of Tokyo, as they headed back to the dorm. It was just him and Ohno, their arms brushing against each other from time to time. At some point, their shoulders bumped softly against each other. It wasn’t clear who started it, and no one cared, but they ended up bumping each other playfully until it was a silly game with shared laughter and playful banter until they’ve reached the university’s vicinity.
“Nothing’s bothering me,” Nino finally answered, stopping to have a proper look at Ohno. Nino took notice that they were standing by the tree beside the Arts building. Nino shook his head, amused. It figures.
Ohno shrugged, but he seemed not convinced with Nino’s answer. Yet his eyes looked determined, as if silently telling Nino that he would always be there for him.
And then everything finally dawned on Nino, the realisation sinking inside him, making his heart heavy.
I’m afraid to lose all of this. Nino admitted inwardly.
Despite the short span since he and Ohno met, Nino felt vulnerable of the possibility of losing whatever he and Ohno already shared. And that was the reason he didn’t know what to do with those feelings; all of it were new to him. He didn’t want to mess everything up by acting on that feelings. Maybe that was also the reason he took the path of flirting too much, trying to make things uncomplicated, even if he knew it already was.
“It’s getting late. We should head back,” Ohno said, looking towards the dorm.
“Yeah,” Nino agreed with a nod, but he didn’t make a move to walk. Ohno did, knowing Nino would follow suit, except he didn’t. Nino grabbed Ohno’s arm, stopping him from walking away.
Ohno looked at Nino’s hand on his s arm, raising an eyebrow when he met Nino’s gaze. Nino looked away, suddenly unsure and shy.
Why am I acting like a fool again? Nino groaned inwardly. He sighed and then looked straight into t Ohno’s eyes.
“Thank you,” he said in a small voice, but each word was firm and sincere. Thank you for coming into my life.
Ohno was confused at first, but smiled nevertheless. “What’s that for?” he asked.
Nino shrugged. “Just balancing things out,” he muttered coyly, and judging from the way Ohno scrunched his nose - which was really cute by the way - it just made the older male more confused.
Nino smiled fondly as he looked at Ohno’s dumbfounded face. Ohno’s mouth was slightly open and his eyes blinked several times. Nino laughed, and somehow that coaxed Ohno to stop dwelling on it and let it go. He smiled and shook his head.
“Come on, let’s go,” Nino said, dragging Ohno with him as he walked towards their dorm. Their hands intertwined in the process, and Nino didn’t mind one bit as he felt Ohno’s warm hand against his. It was a reminder that this was real, and Ohno was with him right at that moment. It was a reminder that despite all the flirting and pretenses, what he and Ohno have was real, no matter what it was.
See, it’s balanced after all. He would have told Jun, but decided against it.
(Plus, it wasn’t easy to tone down the flirting. Ohno’s reactions were totally worth it whether it was a small smile, a shy laugh, or maybe a flirt back. Nino felt sorry to his Jun-pon. It seemed he won’t be able to follow his advice after all.)
FLEXIBILITY
Nino was satisfied with what was in front of him already. There were the shared laughter, the gestures of camaraderie, and even the smiles of mischief between them. Everything seemed to be clicking into place, and Nino couldn’t ask for more.
Yeah, keep telling that to yourself.
Sadly, even his mind was thinking otherwise.
Nino had to continue lying to himself that nothing had changed since then. His resolution (or whatever it was called) was absolute. Except that things weren’t as cooperative, and so his efforts were honestly futile. Their touches kept lingering. Their smiles were small yet full of meaning. And when their eyes met, it was deep like they were looking at each other’s soul.
Why the hell am I like some poet. I’m not majoring in Literature. Damn it!
Without even doing anything, Nino was more damned than he had let on. Just when he thought he had balanced things out, that was when the feelings went haywire.
Sigh.
“You’ve been doing that a lot, Ninomi.”
Nino grimaced at that horrible nickname, giving away who had spoken without Nino having to look at the newcomer.
“Nice observation, Aiba-sshi. Now, would you leave me alone?” Nino snapped. He trusted Aiba won’t take his words personally. It was just that he didn’t feel like socializing to anyone. He really regretted agreeing at Jun’s invitation.
The university festival had concluded. The Drama club decided to celebrate their successful show at a club nearby. Of course, as Jun and Ohno’s friend, he was invited. He couldn’t really pass on seeing Ohno being the center of attention, so he decided to come with them. How wrong he was when he chose to socialize rather than just have a date with his games back at his dorm room.
“Is something wrong? You said you’ll just get a drink, but you never came back,” Aiba said, sporting a worried face.
Nino had been lurking at the bar after a couple of drinks. He felt suffocated for some reason. And he thought it was better to just lie low by the bar than stay there with him.
Nino looked at the table he was occupying earlier together with his friends, and with Ohno. A sad smile formed on his face. Maybe it was all the alcohol in his system, but rather than a snarky reply, he ended up with an honest answer.
“I can’t be there, Masaki. It’s too much,” Nino said before gulping the remnants of his beer.
Aiba also took a glance back at their table before looking back at Nino with an encouraging smile. “What’s holding you back, Nino? Shouldn’t you just tell him?”
Nino winced at the firmness in Aiba’s voice despite the loud music booming inside the club. Despite Aiba’s good intentions, it wasn’t enough to actually make Nino reconsider his options (Well, if he did have options).
“You’re making things complicated, when it couldn’t be,” Aiba tried, and Nino stared back at the lanky man, dumbfounded.
“Wouldn’t it be more complicated if things don’t go the way I wanted it?” Nino countered, surprising his own self that he didn’t actually slur his words despite the amount of alcohol he had taken already.
“What if it didn’t? What if you guys were just running around in circles?” Aiba shot back. His eyes were gleaming with hope.
Nino shook his head, not knowing what to say anymore. He ordered another bottle of beer, while Aiba sighed in defeat beside him.
“Look…” Aiba started. He wet his lips first before continuing, looking left and right to see if someone was eavesdropping. Nino did the same, although he didn’t know why Aiba would be too conscious whether people would hear them talking or something.
“I know you won’t admit this, but please don’t let what happened to your parents determine how you should handle your feelings. If things didn’t work out with them, it doesn’t mean it would be the same as yours,” Aiba said softly, but loud enough against the beat of the music in the club.
Nino looked at Aiba, finally understanding his earlier precautions. It was a personal thing after all, and although it wasn’t like Nino was hiding the fact that his parents had a nasty divorce, he was still thankful for his friend’s consideration.
Nino sighed. He hadn’t really thought about it. Was it really the reason why everything became so complicated?
“Ah, there you are!”
Aiba and Nino looked at the newcomer.
“You’re drunk, Ohno-san,” Nino stated, pointing at him. If it weren’t for Ohno’s goofy smile and the way he was tumbling on his feet as he made his way to the nearest chair beside him, Nino would think the man heard his conversation with Aiba.
“No, I’m… hic… -not!” Ohno giggled.
Aiba chuckled while Nino fondly rolled his eyes. He got his phone and looked at the time. It was past one in the morning already, and he didn’t want to stay any longer. It seemed Ohno needed to go home, too.
“I better get going,” he announced before chugging what was left of his drink and putting his phone back in his pocket.
“You’re going home?” Ohno asked. It must be Nino’s intoxicated mind, but did Ohno sound disappointed just then? Nino just nodded, rather than dwell on it.
“I think Oh-chan had enough drinks already. Maybe he should go with you, too,” Aiba suggested. Nino raised an eyebrow, trying to understand what Aiba was thinking. Ohno, on the other hand, seemed to like the idea, nodding his head eagerly.
“Yeah! I get to go home with Kazu-chan!” Ohno cheered, making Aiba laugh again while Nino shook his head with a smile.
“Come on, you old drunk man.” Nino thought to just go with the flow, not thinking anymore that the person he was going home with was the subject of his and Aiba’s conversation just moments before.
“Let’s go!” Ohno cheered, heading excitedly towards the exit like a kid going for a journey. Before Nino could follow, Aiba grabbed his hand.
“I’m sorry if I overstepped,” Aiba apologized sheepishly.
“Nah, it’s nothing,” Nino assured the other man with a smile, patting Aiba’s upper arm before following Ohno towards the exit.
Aiba didn’t need to apologize. He had done nothing wrong. It was all Nino’s fault, his stubbornness and cowardice included.
They managed to get a cab ride back to the dorm. Nino thought that either Ohno would be super talkative or he would be asleep the whole ride. Instead, the older male was totally silent, looking through the window glass as they passed by the late nightlife of Tokyo till they reach the dorm. He looked like he was deep in thought, and Nino wondered what Ohno had been thinking then.
After arriving at the dorm, they went straight to their floor without a word to each other. The silence between them wasn’t that awkward, but it wasn’t their usual comfortable silence either. Nino thought Ohno was already sleepwalking, despite him walking straight towards his room. Ohno’s room was the closest one from the elevator, while Nino’s was at the far end. Nino was about to say good night and head out to his own room when Ohno beat him to it.
“Will you sleep with me?”
Nino’s eyes widened at the question. Did Ohno just asked him to…?
When realization dawned on Ohno, he was beet red spluttering, “Wait… I mean… not that… uhm, sleep… just… uhm… you know…”
Nino laughed softly, making Ohno stop explaining.
“Afraid that monsters will take you, Ohno-san?” Nino teased. Ohno pouted, scratching his head and looking at Nino like a lost puppy who wanted to be taken care of. Nino didn’t have the heart to refuse.
Upon entering Ohno’s room, they discarded their jackets and pants on a nearby chair, leaving them on their shirts and boxers. It was a bit awkward at first when they laid down on Ohno’s single bed, trying to fit on it. Somehow, they managed to find a comfortable position, lying sideways with them facing each other.
“Sorry,” Ohno apologized sheepishly because with the limited space, they were quite squashed together. They were literally breathing at each other, the smell of alcohol lingering between them.
Nino didn’t mind though, closing his eyes while shaking his head.
“Don’t worry, I’m flexible anyway, so we’ll manage,” Nino smiled, and Ohno smiled back.
There was a pregnant pause, and Nino thought Ohno was drifting off to sleep already. He closed his eyes, hoping that his tiredness will let him forget his thoughts in the meantime. His talk with Aiba, his feelings, and everything that had to do with the man sleeping with him on the bed, he would deal with all of that tomorrow after clearing his mind. For now, he just wanted to sleep.
“Sorry if I forced you to be here,” Ohno suddenly said, making Nino open his eyes. Ohno was looking straight at Nino’s eyes. Despite the darkness, Nino could see the seriousness in Ohno’s face.
“Oh-chan…” Nino started, trying to assure Ohno that it was alright, but Ohno interrupted him.
“I was afraid you were mad at me or something, since you left the table suddenly. I kinda felt lost at that time,” Ohno continued.
Nino knew that it was the alcohol talking because Ohno wasn’t someone who was that talkative unless he was talking about art or fishing. Yet with the way Ohno’s eyes were looking at him straight, Nino could feel the sincerity with every word Ohno said.
“Please don’t leave me like that again,” Ohno said, his voice just above a whisper, and it made Nino’s heart ache a bit because of how vulnerable Ohno sounded, and it was caused by him.
“I won’t,” Nino assured the older male. “I promise.”
Ohno smiled, seemingly satisfied with Nino’s answer. He easily fell asleep afterwards. Soft snores were coming out from his mouth. Instinctively, he scooted closer towards Nino, wrapping his hand over Nino’s waist.
Nino’s heart was thumping hard against his ribcage. It wasn’t because of how close they were, that it seemed like they were occupying the same space. It was more of his words.
Nino could blame all that had happened tonight to the alcohol he had taken. Yet he didn’t. It was him all along. Now, it’s just out in the open.
Aiba was right. Seeing how his parents had always been so in love with each other until it all crumbled down to hate and despair made Nino hesitant when it came to having such strong feelings with someone.
Love was such a strong emotion, and Nino didn’t know how to handle it. He didn’t want to see himself like his parents, looking like they were each other’s world in one second, and then leaving because breathing the same air will kill them both at the next.
But then, he did say he was flexible. He would fit in Ohno’s world no matter the circumstance. He promised he won’t leave, and he intended to keep that promise.
I’ll stay. I’m flexible like that.
(And Nino was definitely flexible because, apparently, a drunk Ohno moved too much in his sleep. Nino managed not to fall off from the bed. He also managed to make Jun squeak early in the morning since Jun walked into the room, finding them in such a compromising position. Nino had so much fun teasing Jun the whole day about it.)
ENDURANCE
It had been like that since then. There were no more words about it ever heard again. There were still Aiba’s worried glances though. Sometimes, Jun would give him a squeeze on his shoulder. They wouldn’t specifically talk about it, yet Nino just knew. He wouldn’t say he didn’t appreciate it, but sometimes, it was becoming too much.
Thankfully, becoming a senior had its perks, and everyone got busier than ever with all the projects. It helped in distracting him away from dwelling with certain emotions from time to time.
Sadly, that time wasn’t today.
It was Ohno’s exhibit day already and people were buzzing with praises and awe with all of his works throughout the years, from his childhood days till becoming an adult and getting his diploma in college.
Nino was reminded of how talented Ohno was. It wasn’t just because Ohno had the gift of making his drawing move. It was the passion that you could see in every stroke of paint in his painting, every mold of his sculptures, or every line in his sketches. It showed Ohno’s love for art.
Love that I wish he would give me, too.
He didn’t want to sound bitter (even if he did), but he couldn’t help himself. And, like always, he didn’t know what do with all these overwhelming feelings.
I need to go.
Nino grimaced as he headed out of the exhibit hall. He did promise Ohno that he would stay, but he didn’t really want to taint this beautiful day with his overdramatic gloominess.
“Hey… hey… you’re leaving already?”
Nino looked up and found that it was Sho who asked. Nino looked around, hoping no one else had noticed him going away. Thankfully, everyone was busy minding their own businesses, and Ohno was nowhere to be seen. He was probably on the other side of the exhibit, touring some people.
“Uhm, yeah… I’m not feeling well. I think I need to turn in early,” Nino tried to excuse. He should really be proud of himself because he managed to say it smoothly, that it sounded convincing. Or so he thought.
“Hmm,” Sho hummed, thinking for a moment before deciding, “I’ll come with you. I need to go to the dorm anyway, to get my camera.”
Nino’s eyes widened but he didn’t say anything. He just nodded and let Sho follow him out. And he thought he could go somewhere else before returning to the dorm. Maybe he really would have to turn in the bed earlier than he thought.
The mall, where the exhibit is being held, was situated close to the university dorms. That was why rather than getting a cab, they just opted to walk. It was mostly filled with silence except for a few casual talks here and there about their future plans now that they were graduating.
Since Sho was an Economics major, his dorm building was different from Nino’s. They needed to separate in front of the soccer field.
“Are you sure you’ll be okay?” Sho asked worriedly before saying goodbye.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Don’t worry about me, Sho-chan,” Nino giggled. It was quite refreshing that someone was worried for him and not for that reason.
Sho nodded and turned towards his dorm building. Nino was about to continue walking towards his dorm when Sho called again.
“And Nino…”
“Hmmm?” Nino stopped, his eyebrow raising.
Sho heaved a sigh before approaching Nino again.
“I know we don’t usually talk about mushy things,” Sho started, sparking Nino’s interest as to where Sho’s words were heading.
“I know how you feel about Satoshi-kun, and I know what you’re going through. Just…” Sho admitted, but stopped himself, trying to recollect his thoughts before speaking. “Just be honest with your feelings even though it’s hard and you’re afraid of losing everything. Sometimes, honesty is the foundation to keep the things you want to keep,” Sho said with a smile.
Nino was astonished. Sho was right. They didn’t usually talk about things that were too mushy, so it was a surprise that it was Sho who opened that topic. But it made Nino think, “Is it that obvious?”
Sho chuckled fondly, shaking his head. “I just see myself in you.”
Nino’s mouth turned into an ‘o’, and when he realized the implications, he hastily asked, “Are you in love with…?”
“Ah, no… no…” Sho denied. “I’m in love with somebody else,” he clarified, and after some thought, “I’m going to tell him soon.” He added, looking determined all of a sudden.
Nino smiled and patted Sho’s shoulder in lieu of saying thanks and good luck. They said their goodbyes and headed in their own dorms, except Nino didn’t, and headed to the tree beside the Arts building. He sat under the tree, leaning his head against the trunk, looking at the stars glimmering above.
With all the things laid out to him, Nino was still speechless, trying to wrap his mind about everything that had happened.
Sho’s words echoed in his head. “Sometimes, honesty is the foundation to keep the things you want to keep.”
Nino began whistling a tune he knew so well. It was the same tune that started all of this (though at that moment, there weren’t paper planes involved). The soft breeze carried the tune, letting the music flow in the air like an orchestra of the wind.
“It’s too much trouble,” you say
Because you aren’t being honest
I wonder why you can’t say it?
The phrase, “I love you”?
Nino stopped whistling, looking at where the voice came from, finding Ohno singing the last lines with a smile, even if the music had died down. Nino could only smile, shy and timid, as Ohno approached him, sitting beside him and copying his position.
There was a pregnant pause, both men looking towards the sky in awe. No one dared to speak, but the loud thumping in Nino’sheart became unbearable to hear.
“Why are you here?” Nino asked cautiously, hoping he didn’t sound like he was driving Ohno away.
“You weren’t there,” was Ohno’s brief answer.
Nino looked at Ohno, who silently looked back at him.
“It seemed pointless if you weren’t there,” Ohno added, sounding so firm and honest.
Honesty huh?
Without thinking about it too much, Nino felt it was the right time to finally be honest to them both.
“I love you, Satoshi.”
It was abrupt, yet thrilling in both a good and bad way. Maybe he did get what Sho meant by honesty being the foundation. If Ohno felt the same way, then it was a jackpot for him, because his feelings were reciprocated. If not, then Nino would be allowed to move on because he didn’t have regrets. They may not be lovers, but he and Ohno would still be good friends.
But, instead of hearing either words of affection or rejection, he felt Ohno’s lip touching his. It was just a chaste one at first, Ohno seemingly testing the waters. Nino got bolder and grabbed Ohno’s nape to crash their lips firmly together. Their kiss became more passionate and deep until air was needed and they had to seperate. They kept their faces close though. Their foreheads were leaning against each other. Their breaths lingering between them.
“I love you, too,” Ohno whispered against Nino’s lips after leaving a peck there.
Nino’s eyes widened before finding himself laughing so hard that he needed to pull away from Ohno and their close proximity. Ohno had a questioning look, but a smile didn’t leave his face.
“Damn, to think I endured all of that,” Nino said disbelievingly.
Ohno was still clueless. “Huh?”
Nino dismissed it with another peck before relaxing against the tree. “It’s nothing. It’s just exercise,” he said absentmindedly.
“But, Nino, you don’t exercise,” Ohno pointed out. There was a hint of teasing in his eyes.
Nino rolled his eyes, pulling Ohno closer to him. “Yeah, I suck at it anyway” Nino admitted with a shrug.
He really sucked at it.
At least, he got his man.
(And when he thought everything was fine already, they have to endure a one-hour lecture from Jun the next morning. Although it was mostly directed at Ohno because he left suddenly, leaving the guests in Jun’s hand without preamble, Nino stayed put. He held Ohno’s hand, sharing glances from time to time. They were together, and that was what mattered the most. Jun’s lecture be damned.)
selvageFrom: :3.
Title: The Exercise
Pairing/Focus: Ohmiya, implied Sho/??
Rating: PG - 13
Word count: 6952 words
Warnings: OCness. Some swearing. Lots of going on in Nino’s mind.
Summary: Who was he kidding anyway? He was in love with this man. And it was Nino’s daily exercise to hide it. How did this exercise start anyway?
Notes: Hey there @cutselvage! I’m really hoping you accept college AU. I think there’s also OOCness here and there. I tried my best but I think my best isn’t good enough. All I’m saying is, I hope you’ll like this fic even just for a bit. (But you’re free to throw this at me when you know who I am at the end of the exchange.) Thanks to Mod-san for being so considerate, and my beta who’s always warm and fuzzy and just wonderfully awesome.
Nino wasn’t a fan of exercising. He hated moving around. He hated it when beads of sweat would form and trickle down on his skin, making his clothes damp and sticky. And the smell - don’t even let Nino start about it - because he could go on and on. Okay, maybe that was an exaggeration. But, seriously, who invented exercise anyway? Wasn’t waking up and living from day to day enough exercise already?
If Aiba would hear him complaining, his best friend would do his hyena-like laugh. Aiba would be clutching his stomach like it was the funniest thing Nino ever said. Nino would definitely glare at Aiba because seriously, it wasn’t funny.“But it is, Ninomi,” Aiba would say at mid-laugh, and NIno would ask himself why he was friends with that idiot.
Sho, on the other hand, would convince him why it was important to do exercise. He would list all the benefits of it, detailing how good Nino’s body would feel after every workout.
And then there’s Jun, who would definitely provide supplementary details on what Sho just shared.
Why was he thinking about exercising anyway?
“Earth to Kazu? You still there?”
Oh right! He was exercising that very moment...by lifting some things.
“Sorry, Oh-chan… I’m just taking a breather here. You managed to take my breath away,” NIno said with a small smile. a deep breath, then huffed it out before lifting again the three medium canvases of Ohno’s paintings that he had been carrying before his little break.
They were in a gallery inside a mall in Odaiba, preparing for Ohno’s exhibit, and, for the love of god (or gods), why did Nino join the manual labor again? Well, this was Ohno’s exhibit, and Nino wasn’t going to sit around and miss out on helping Ohno realise his dream firsthand.
“Well, you didn’t need to do this stuff, you know,” Ohno said, scratching the back of his neck with a shy smile. With the light above them, NIno noticed a tinge of red color on Ohno’s sun-kissed skin. NIno realized the implication of his words earlier, and he couldn’t help but smirk, quite proud that he could still get such a reaction from Ohno even after all those years.
“Well, if you have been using that body of yours to move more frequently than just laze around in your room for hours, playing those damn video games, maybe you wouldn’t be so tired carrying just three canvases that aren’t even bigger than you,” Jun said, stopping near them.
Trust Jun to never cut Nino some slack. Nino did have a good reason why he got tired easily from lifting those canvasses. They had been coming back and forth from the truck that delivered Ohno’s art pieces to the venue of the exhibit, which was inconveniently situated on the second floor. Their pathway, that was hidden to the mall-goers, wasn’t air conditioned. And the worst had revealed itself. Apparently, the elevator chose that day to malfunction.
“I’m hurt, Jun-pon. And I thought you love those damn video games. Oh--- wait, you don’t… since you can’t beat me yet in Mario Kart,” Nino bit back, although both their words didn’t really have much of a bite. It was just like a brotherly banter between long-time friends.
“Well, these are the last ones anyway,” Jun said, pertaining to the art pieces he was holding. Nino sighed in relief. Jun didn’t comment. He just shook his head and went ahead. Ohno stayed behind, and then got the three canvases from Nino’s hold.
“Thanks for coming. I really appreciate it, knowing you really don’t like leaving your dorm room, unless it’s necessary,” Ohno said in a hushed tone.
Nino’s heart wasn’t beating faster. Nope, nope, nope. It didn’t bring butterflies in his tummy too. Nope. Nope. Nope.
Who was he kidding anyway? He was in love with his this man. And it was Nino’s daily exercise to hide it. How did this exercise start anyway?
STRENGTH
They met on Nino’s second year in university. He was taking a degree in Music, majoring in Modern Music. He had a major music block then. Or maybe it was more like lyrics block? Ever since his professor said that their final project would be a composition of any genre they liked, he just couldn’t create the lyrics that would go with the music that was stuck in his head for weeks. He didn’t have a hard time finding the right tune he wanted to make, but creating lyrics was a different story. And, with each day, the deadline was getting closer, like literally the dead line.
Nino considered asking help from Sho, since the man had been taking journalism. Although creating articles and lyrics were entirely different, he knew Sho could make it work with all the words popping out from the future newscaster’s brain. But then, the output won’t be personal, and his professor did say to “put yourself in it”. So his backup plan was scrapped even before he really thought further about it.
Since he was not fond of the outdoors, and he didn’t really like moping inside his dorm room, unless he was smashing buttons on his game console, Nino would spend most of his free time in the library at the Arts building. Unlike the libraries at the Technical building, which would be packed with students reviewing for their finals, the library at the 2nd floor of the Arts building was mostly vacant. There were times when Nino had it all to himself, aside from the librarians assigned there.
Seriously, the lyrics block was so damn strong that he would always start writing the tune on a music score without any lyrics, then end up folding it to form an airplane and letting it fly through the window he would always open whenever he was there.
He didn’t think those paper planes would land at something, or better yet, someone.
It had been one of those days when he had just finished writing the whole tune on the music score, and once again, no words would come out of his brain to go along with it. With a disappointed sigh, he folded it neatly and then let it fly. He whistled a short tune and next thing he knew, a breeze blew softly inside the room. It lifted another paper plane he just made and he let it fly outside as the wind played the tune he created.
That was what he loved most about his gift. He would just whistle a part of a tune and then let the wind continue it for him as long as he would concentrate on it. Most of the time, it overjoyed him to hear the music he created, without instruments, but just the soft tingling of the wind. But, like any other day of his lyrics block, the music dwindled and the breeze plummeted, bringing the paper plane he set off to land down somewhere outside. As always.
Nino slumped on his chair, crossing his arms above his chest and donning a pout on his face. It hadn’t been a productive day yet again, and Nino was getting restless. He was seriously considering getting Sho’s help due to the low progress he was making, but he really wanted this to be personal, and not just because his professor had told him to do so.
His ears perked up when he heard a paper rustling from outside, and the next thing he knew, the paper airplane he had ‘thrown away’ flew back, landing at the table in front of him. And when Nino said it flew back, he meant the paper plane’s wings flapped up and down like a bird. Nino blinked, quite shocked.
“How did-?” Nino muttered as he reached for the paper and unfolded it. He found small doodles around the score sheet. They were rainbows and birds inside. Nino let out a gasp, and then looked at the paper closely. He was sure its wings moved a little before it settled. Huh?
Furthermore, he didn’t make those doodles because they were done quite well, and he admitted to himself that he wasn’t that talented for such artistry. He stood up and went to the window to shed some light to the mysteries the paper brought. He took a peek outside, and, down below, he saw someone that took his breath away.
“So, it was you, huh…”
The man below probably shouted since they were a floor apart, and in some odd way, it made Nino shiver in anticipation.
“Erm… Hi?” Nino said with an awkward wave. He silently cursed himself for being a goof all of a sudden. That was Aiba’s job.
The other man let out a chuckle, shaking his head, then walked away. Nino grew nervous, not knowing what the other man was thinking, but Nino was sure that he was heading towards the entrance of the Arts building. Was the other man mad at him?
Nino then hastily gathered his things. If the man was indeed mad at him, he better hide or something. Not that the guy had a face of someone who is an asshole. If Nino would be honest, the guy was actually cute, like an angel.
“So, it had been you who were throwing those paper planes,” a curious voice interrupted, and Nino almost jumped out of fright because he was always alone there.
Nino snapped his head towards the voice. He felt momentarily dizzy with the whiplash, but it didn’t stop him from gaping at the other person in the room.
“Although I won’t really call it throwing away,” the other man added as an afterthought.
Nino, on the other hand, just ogled. He was probably drooling too, but he managed to collect his wits when he noticed that the silence was getting louder between them.
“I have no idea what you mean, Mr…?” Nino inwardly cursed at how lamely he handled the situation. He was better than this. Heck, he was the best. But there was just something with that guy standing in front of him, something entrailling that left him tongue-tied.
“Ohno Satoshi… but I’d rather you don’t call me by my full name, or I’ll think my mom is the one calling because of something bad that I did perhaps,” Ohno, as Nino learned, said with a smile. And just like that, Nino’s nervousness dissipated. Not completely, but Ohno’s smile helped in calming his nerves.
“Oh~” Nino reacted with a perfect “O”-shaped mouth. Okay, he was definitely acting like a loser now. If his friends were around, he would never hear the end of this. Good thing they weren’t. He didn’t want to hear Aiba’s endless teasing.
It seemed though that Ohno wasn’t a good conversationalist, too. He just stood there with an awkward stance, his back slouched and his hand scratching the back of his neck. But Nino found it rather cute.
There was silence again between them, and Nino wasn’t sure yet whether that silence was comfortable or not, but, standing opposite each other, with a table in between, seemed to look really ridiculous from an outsider’s perspective.
“Okay, I got to admit. I’m the one throwing the paper planes,” Nino said truthfully, raising both hands in defeat. Ohno, who had remained silent, raised a delicate eyebrow and gave a lopsided smile. “But I was doing it to train my muscle. You know, checking my arm strength by measuring how far the paper plane will go,” Nino added, silently congratulating himself because he was able to say that with a straight face. Talking about exercising was definitely something people would never hear from Nino. It wasn’t in his vocabulary. And, here he was, talking about it to a total - and beautiful, if he may add - stranger.
Nino didn’t feel dreadful at all, even if he sounded like a sore-loser. Not at all, especially when Ohno beamed at him with amusement. Nino, too, was beaming, because no matter how bizarre their encounter was that day, he felt it won’t be the last.
“Don’t worry. I think your arm strength is fine, because it hit the same spot every day. No improvements needed,” Ohno chimed, rubbing an imaginary spot on his hair to make a point.
Nino laughed at that, glad that his paper planes landed onto something, or rather, someone.
(And who would've guessed that it would be Ohno who would cure his lyrics block because after that day, Nino managed to finish his song, complete with lyrics. Still, he didn’t submit that song for his finals. He felt that it was too personal to submit. Maybe that song will come in handy for something else in the future.)
BALANCE
Just like that, Ohno became part of Nino’s life, as if he had been present all throughout the years. It was like Ohno had been the missing puzzle that Nino had been looking for, and that was an exaggeration even on his part. But it was really like that. He felt complete being with the older man, may it be in the most important moments of his life like when he finally defeated the boss on his game, or even just in mundane moments like when he aced his finals not related to music at all. (Okay, Nino really needs to set his priorities right because surely acing exams was more important than defeating boss generals on one of his games.)
Being with Ohno was a thrill he liked. It made Nino excited, but at the same time, he was frightened by it. He never felt something like this before.
“You’re staring again,” someone said from his right, interrupting Nino’s train of thoughts.
Nino looked sideways, a bored expression etched on his face. “Thanks for stating obvious, Captain Obvious,” Nino snapped, but there wasn’t really a bite on it. It seemed the newcomer didn’t take offense either since the man just shrugged.
“Come on, Jun-pon… How can you not stare when there’s something to stare at,” Nino added later on, trying to lighten the mood. Jun smirked at Nino’s words, shaking his head in amusement.
They were at the university’s auditorium because it was a free period. Rather than spending it in the library or the music room like he used to do, he was there, watching the rehearsal.
The Drama club was going to have a production for the university's festival. Despite Ohno not being a member, he was recruited to join that production because of his talents in dancing and singing. Jun made sure he was the lead, and no one dared to say otherwise because no one wanted to mess with the Drama club president.
That reminded Nino, “What are you doing here?” he inquired, raising an eyebrow towards Jun. “Shouldn’t the Drama club president be watching the run-through closely?” Nino pointed out.
Jun shrugged, leaning back on his seat. “Well, the view is better here,” he explained, pertaining to where they were sitting, at the last row of seats in the auditorium. “Plus, Keiko can handle it for now while I’m at break,” Jun added. His voice had a hint of pride for his vice president.
Nino nodded absent-mindedly, focusing his gaze back to the stage.
“You really like Ohno-san, huh?” Jun stated, looking at Nino like he was a specimen to observe.
Nino raised an eyebrow, but didn’t say any word to either fully confirm or deny Jun’s accusation. “I flirt with him, don’t I?” Nino added (un)helpfully.
“Because you don’t know what to do with those feelings…” Jun said. It was a statement rather than a question.
Nino opened his mouth to argue, but stopped himself.
Jun had a point. Looking back, from the time he had met Ohno till that day, he had been openly flirting with the older male. He would spout different innuendos here and there. What those hints meant weren’t clear yet with Nino though, and that was scaring him in ways he couldn’t explain.
Wait, why was he talking about feelings with Jun anyway? Not that they weren’t close or anything. They basically grew up together with Aiba, so it was fine, but it was a touchy topic he rather not dwell on.
“Feelings, huh?” Nino muttered with a smirk, like it was some kind of a joke that humored him. But feelings weren’t meant to be joked around. It was something to be serious about. Was he serious with this one, then?
Nino looked at Jun again after the latter clicked his tongue. He smiled, but it came as a grimace. “It’s fun to flirt with him,” Nino said, but it didn’t sound convincing enough, even to himself admittedly.
“Yeah, sure. I believe you,” Jun said, patting Nino’s back with a smile before standing up. “I better get back. I need to check if the props are in full condition before the festival.” The festival would happen a day after tomorrow. That was why rehearsals were on full blast. Not that the Drama club was lacking in anything. The lead was no doubt the best in Nino’s - biased - opinion and the president - ever Mr. Stoic - made sure everything was perfect even to the last details.
Jun suddenly stopped in his tracks, turning back. Nino looked expectantly because he knew Jun would say something more, and he didn’t disappoint.
“Just…” Jun started, contemplating what he would say next, his mouth opening and closing several times. He sighed, then finally, “Uhm, tone it down. If you flirt too much, it may be quite hard to fathom whether you’re serious or not,” Jun advised, offering an understanding smile before heading out.
Nino looked at Jun with a deep thought, wondering if he overdid the flirting with Ohno to an extent. Wait, was it time to actually worry on such things? They were just friends, right?
Nino found himself thinking about it through the rest of the day. He moved automatically like a robot, whether he was attending his classes, or when he hung out with his friends at a cafe to grab dinner. If anyone noticed how aloof he was, no one said a word, except...
“Is something bothering you?” Ohno asked after some time.
They were walking closely side by side, through the busy streets of Tokyo, as they headed back to the dorm. It was just him and Ohno, their arms brushing against each other from time to time. At some point, their shoulders bumped softly against each other. It wasn’t clear who started it, and no one cared, but they ended up bumping each other playfully until it was a silly game with shared laughter and playful banter until they’ve reached the university’s vicinity.
“Nothing’s bothering me,” Nino finally answered, stopping to have a proper look at Ohno. Nino took notice that they were standing by the tree beside the Arts building. Nino shook his head, amused. It figures.
Ohno shrugged, but he seemed not convinced with Nino’s answer. Yet his eyes looked determined, as if silently telling Nino that he would always be there for him.
And then everything finally dawned on Nino, the realisation sinking inside him, making his heart heavy.
I’m afraid to lose all of this. Nino admitted inwardly.
Despite the short span since he and Ohno met, Nino felt vulnerable of the possibility of losing whatever he and Ohno already shared. And that was the reason he didn’t know what to do with those feelings; all of it were new to him. He didn’t want to mess everything up by acting on that feelings. Maybe that was also the reason he took the path of flirting too much, trying to make things uncomplicated, even if he knew it already was.
“It’s getting late. We should head back,” Ohno said, looking towards the dorm.
“Yeah,” Nino agreed with a nod, but he didn’t make a move to walk. Ohno did, knowing Nino would follow suit, except he didn’t. Nino grabbed Ohno’s arm, stopping him from walking away.
Ohno looked at Nino’s hand on his s arm, raising an eyebrow when he met Nino’s gaze. Nino looked away, suddenly unsure and shy.
Why am I acting like a fool again? Nino groaned inwardly. He sighed and then looked straight into t Ohno’s eyes.
“Thank you,” he said in a small voice, but each word was firm and sincere. Thank you for coming into my life.
Ohno was confused at first, but smiled nevertheless. “What’s that for?” he asked.
Nino shrugged. “Just balancing things out,” he muttered coyly, and judging from the way Ohno scrunched his nose - which was really cute by the way - it just made the older male more confused.
Nino smiled fondly as he looked at Ohno’s dumbfounded face. Ohno’s mouth was slightly open and his eyes blinked several times. Nino laughed, and somehow that coaxed Ohno to stop dwelling on it and let it go. He smiled and shook his head.
“Come on, let’s go,” Nino said, dragging Ohno with him as he walked towards their dorm. Their hands intertwined in the process, and Nino didn’t mind one bit as he felt Ohno’s warm hand against his. It was a reminder that this was real, and Ohno was with him right at that moment. It was a reminder that despite all the flirting and pretenses, what he and Ohno have was real, no matter what it was.
See, it’s balanced after all. He would have told Jun, but decided against it.
(Plus, it wasn’t easy to tone down the flirting. Ohno’s reactions were totally worth it whether it was a small smile, a shy laugh, or maybe a flirt back. Nino felt sorry to his Jun-pon. It seemed he won’t be able to follow his advice after all.)
FLEXIBILITY
Nino was satisfied with what was in front of him already. There were the shared laughter, the gestures of camaraderie, and even the smiles of mischief between them. Everything seemed to be clicking into place, and Nino couldn’t ask for more.
Yeah, keep telling that to yourself.
Sadly, even his mind was thinking otherwise.
Nino had to continue lying to himself that nothing had changed since then. His resolution (or whatever it was called) was absolute. Except that things weren’t as cooperative, and so his efforts were honestly futile. Their touches kept lingering. Their smiles were small yet full of meaning. And when their eyes met, it was deep like they were looking at each other’s soul.
Why the hell am I like some poet. I’m not majoring in Literature. Damn it!
Without even doing anything, Nino was more damned than he had let on. Just when he thought he had balanced things out, that was when the feelings went haywire.
Sigh.
“You’ve been doing that a lot, Ninomi.”
Nino grimaced at that horrible nickname, giving away who had spoken without Nino having to look at the newcomer.
“Nice observation, Aiba-sshi. Now, would you leave me alone?” Nino snapped. He trusted Aiba won’t take his words personally. It was just that he didn’t feel like socializing to anyone. He really regretted agreeing at Jun’s invitation.
The university festival had concluded. The Drama club decided to celebrate their successful show at a club nearby. Of course, as Jun and Ohno’s friend, he was invited. He couldn’t really pass on seeing Ohno being the center of attention, so he decided to come with them. How wrong he was when he chose to socialize rather than just have a date with his games back at his dorm room.
“Is something wrong? You said you’ll just get a drink, but you never came back,” Aiba said, sporting a worried face.
Nino had been lurking at the bar after a couple of drinks. He felt suffocated for some reason. And he thought it was better to just lie low by the bar than stay there with him.
Nino looked at the table he was occupying earlier together with his friends, and with Ohno. A sad smile formed on his face. Maybe it was all the alcohol in his system, but rather than a snarky reply, he ended up with an honest answer.
“I can’t be there, Masaki. It’s too much,” Nino said before gulping the remnants of his beer.
Aiba also took a glance back at their table before looking back at Nino with an encouraging smile. “What’s holding you back, Nino? Shouldn’t you just tell him?”
Nino winced at the firmness in Aiba’s voice despite the loud music booming inside the club. Despite Aiba’s good intentions, it wasn’t enough to actually make Nino reconsider his options (Well, if he did have options).
“You’re making things complicated, when it couldn’t be,” Aiba tried, and Nino stared back at the lanky man, dumbfounded.
“Wouldn’t it be more complicated if things don’t go the way I wanted it?” Nino countered, surprising his own self that he didn’t actually slur his words despite the amount of alcohol he had taken already.
“What if it didn’t? What if you guys were just running around in circles?” Aiba shot back. His eyes were gleaming with hope.
Nino shook his head, not knowing what to say anymore. He ordered another bottle of beer, while Aiba sighed in defeat beside him.
“Look…” Aiba started. He wet his lips first before continuing, looking left and right to see if someone was eavesdropping. Nino did the same, although he didn’t know why Aiba would be too conscious whether people would hear them talking or something.
“I know you won’t admit this, but please don’t let what happened to your parents determine how you should handle your feelings. If things didn’t work out with them, it doesn’t mean it would be the same as yours,” Aiba said softly, but loud enough against the beat of the music in the club.
Nino looked at Aiba, finally understanding his earlier precautions. It was a personal thing after all, and although it wasn’t like Nino was hiding the fact that his parents had a nasty divorce, he was still thankful for his friend’s consideration.
Nino sighed. He hadn’t really thought about it. Was it really the reason why everything became so complicated?
“Ah, there you are!”
Aiba and Nino looked at the newcomer.
“You’re drunk, Ohno-san,” Nino stated, pointing at him. If it weren’t for Ohno’s goofy smile and the way he was tumbling on his feet as he made his way to the nearest chair beside him, Nino would think the man heard his conversation with Aiba.
“No, I’m… hic… -not!” Ohno giggled.
Aiba chuckled while Nino fondly rolled his eyes. He got his phone and looked at the time. It was past one in the morning already, and he didn’t want to stay any longer. It seemed Ohno needed to go home, too.
“I better get going,” he announced before chugging what was left of his drink and putting his phone back in his pocket.
“You’re going home?” Ohno asked. It must be Nino’s intoxicated mind, but did Ohno sound disappointed just then? Nino just nodded, rather than dwell on it.
“I think Oh-chan had enough drinks already. Maybe he should go with you, too,” Aiba suggested. Nino raised an eyebrow, trying to understand what Aiba was thinking. Ohno, on the other hand, seemed to like the idea, nodding his head eagerly.
“Yeah! I get to go home with Kazu-chan!” Ohno cheered, making Aiba laugh again while Nino shook his head with a smile.
“Come on, you old drunk man.” Nino thought to just go with the flow, not thinking anymore that the person he was going home with was the subject of his and Aiba’s conversation just moments before.
“Let’s go!” Ohno cheered, heading excitedly towards the exit like a kid going for a journey. Before Nino could follow, Aiba grabbed his hand.
“I’m sorry if I overstepped,” Aiba apologized sheepishly.
“Nah, it’s nothing,” Nino assured the other man with a smile, patting Aiba’s upper arm before following Ohno towards the exit.
Aiba didn’t need to apologize. He had done nothing wrong. It was all Nino’s fault, his stubbornness and cowardice included.
They managed to get a cab ride back to the dorm. Nino thought that either Ohno would be super talkative or he would be asleep the whole ride. Instead, the older male was totally silent, looking through the window glass as they passed by the late nightlife of Tokyo till they reach the dorm. He looked like he was deep in thought, and Nino wondered what Ohno had been thinking then.
After arriving at the dorm, they went straight to their floor without a word to each other. The silence between them wasn’t that awkward, but it wasn’t their usual comfortable silence either. Nino thought Ohno was already sleepwalking, despite him walking straight towards his room. Ohno’s room was the closest one from the elevator, while Nino’s was at the far end. Nino was about to say good night and head out to his own room when Ohno beat him to it.
“Will you sleep with me?”
Nino’s eyes widened at the question. Did Ohno just asked him to…?
When realization dawned on Ohno, he was beet red spluttering, “Wait… I mean… not that… uhm, sleep… just… uhm… you know…”
Nino laughed softly, making Ohno stop explaining.
“Afraid that monsters will take you, Ohno-san?” Nino teased. Ohno pouted, scratching his head and looking at Nino like a lost puppy who wanted to be taken care of. Nino didn’t have the heart to refuse.
Upon entering Ohno’s room, they discarded their jackets and pants on a nearby chair, leaving them on their shirts and boxers. It was a bit awkward at first when they laid down on Ohno’s single bed, trying to fit on it. Somehow, they managed to find a comfortable position, lying sideways with them facing each other.
“Sorry,” Ohno apologized sheepishly because with the limited space, they were quite squashed together. They were literally breathing at each other, the smell of alcohol lingering between them.
Nino didn’t mind though, closing his eyes while shaking his head.
“Don’t worry, I’m flexible anyway, so we’ll manage,” Nino smiled, and Ohno smiled back.
There was a pregnant pause, and Nino thought Ohno was drifting off to sleep already. He closed his eyes, hoping that his tiredness will let him forget his thoughts in the meantime. His talk with Aiba, his feelings, and everything that had to do with the man sleeping with him on the bed, he would deal with all of that tomorrow after clearing his mind. For now, he just wanted to sleep.
“Sorry if I forced you to be here,” Ohno suddenly said, making Nino open his eyes. Ohno was looking straight at Nino’s eyes. Despite the darkness, Nino could see the seriousness in Ohno’s face.
“Oh-chan…” Nino started, trying to assure Ohno that it was alright, but Ohno interrupted him.
“I was afraid you were mad at me or something, since you left the table suddenly. I kinda felt lost at that time,” Ohno continued.
Nino knew that it was the alcohol talking because Ohno wasn’t someone who was that talkative unless he was talking about art or fishing. Yet with the way Ohno’s eyes were looking at him straight, Nino could feel the sincerity with every word Ohno said.
“Please don’t leave me like that again,” Ohno said, his voice just above a whisper, and it made Nino’s heart ache a bit because of how vulnerable Ohno sounded, and it was caused by him.
“I won’t,” Nino assured the older male. “I promise.”
Ohno smiled, seemingly satisfied with Nino’s answer. He easily fell asleep afterwards. Soft snores were coming out from his mouth. Instinctively, he scooted closer towards Nino, wrapping his hand over Nino’s waist.
Nino’s heart was thumping hard against his ribcage. It wasn’t because of how close they were, that it seemed like they were occupying the same space. It was more of his words.
Nino could blame all that had happened tonight to the alcohol he had taken. Yet he didn’t. It was him all along. Now, it’s just out in the open.
Aiba was right. Seeing how his parents had always been so in love with each other until it all crumbled down to hate and despair made Nino hesitant when it came to having such strong feelings with someone.
Love was such a strong emotion, and Nino didn’t know how to handle it. He didn’t want to see himself like his parents, looking like they were each other’s world in one second, and then leaving because breathing the same air will kill them both at the next.
But then, he did say he was flexible. He would fit in Ohno’s world no matter the circumstance. He promised he won’t leave, and he intended to keep that promise.
I’ll stay. I’m flexible like that.
(And Nino was definitely flexible because, apparently, a drunk Ohno moved too much in his sleep. Nino managed not to fall off from the bed. He also managed to make Jun squeak early in the morning since Jun walked into the room, finding them in such a compromising position. Nino had so much fun teasing Jun the whole day about it.)
ENDURANCE
It had been like that since then. There were no more words about it ever heard again. There were still Aiba’s worried glances though. Sometimes, Jun would give him a squeeze on his shoulder. They wouldn’t specifically talk about it, yet Nino just knew. He wouldn’t say he didn’t appreciate it, but sometimes, it was becoming too much.
Thankfully, becoming a senior had its perks, and everyone got busier than ever with all the projects. It helped in distracting him away from dwelling with certain emotions from time to time.
Sadly, that time wasn’t today.
It was Ohno’s exhibit day already and people were buzzing with praises and awe with all of his works throughout the years, from his childhood days till becoming an adult and getting his diploma in college.
Nino was reminded of how talented Ohno was. It wasn’t just because Ohno had the gift of making his drawing move. It was the passion that you could see in every stroke of paint in his painting, every mold of his sculptures, or every line in his sketches. It showed Ohno’s love for art.
Love that I wish he would give me, too.
He didn’t want to sound bitter (even if he did), but he couldn’t help himself. And, like always, he didn’t know what do with all these overwhelming feelings.
I need to go.
Nino grimaced as he headed out of the exhibit hall. He did promise Ohno that he would stay, but he didn’t really want to taint this beautiful day with his overdramatic gloominess.
“Hey… hey… you’re leaving already?”
Nino looked up and found that it was Sho who asked. Nino looked around, hoping no one else had noticed him going away. Thankfully, everyone was busy minding their own businesses, and Ohno was nowhere to be seen. He was probably on the other side of the exhibit, touring some people.
“Uhm, yeah… I’m not feeling well. I think I need to turn in early,” Nino tried to excuse. He should really be proud of himself because he managed to say it smoothly, that it sounded convincing. Or so he thought.
“Hmm,” Sho hummed, thinking for a moment before deciding, “I’ll come with you. I need to go to the dorm anyway, to get my camera.”
Nino’s eyes widened but he didn’t say anything. He just nodded and let Sho follow him out. And he thought he could go somewhere else before returning to the dorm. Maybe he really would have to turn in the bed earlier than he thought.
The mall, where the exhibit is being held, was situated close to the university dorms. That was why rather than getting a cab, they just opted to walk. It was mostly filled with silence except for a few casual talks here and there about their future plans now that they were graduating.
Since Sho was an Economics major, his dorm building was different from Nino’s. They needed to separate in front of the soccer field.
“Are you sure you’ll be okay?” Sho asked worriedly before saying goodbye.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Don’t worry about me, Sho-chan,” Nino giggled. It was quite refreshing that someone was worried for him and not for that reason.
Sho nodded and turned towards his dorm building. Nino was about to continue walking towards his dorm when Sho called again.
“And Nino…”
“Hmmm?” Nino stopped, his eyebrow raising.
Sho heaved a sigh before approaching Nino again.
“I know we don’t usually talk about mushy things,” Sho started, sparking Nino’s interest as to where Sho’s words were heading.
“I know how you feel about Satoshi-kun, and I know what you’re going through. Just…” Sho admitted, but stopped himself, trying to recollect his thoughts before speaking. “Just be honest with your feelings even though it’s hard and you’re afraid of losing everything. Sometimes, honesty is the foundation to keep the things you want to keep,” Sho said with a smile.
Nino was astonished. Sho was right. They didn’t usually talk about things that were too mushy, so it was a surprise that it was Sho who opened that topic. But it made Nino think, “Is it that obvious?”
Sho chuckled fondly, shaking his head. “I just see myself in you.”
Nino’s mouth turned into an ‘o’, and when he realized the implications, he hastily asked, “Are you in love with…?”
“Ah, no… no…” Sho denied. “I’m in love with somebody else,” he clarified, and after some thought, “I’m going to tell him soon.” He added, looking determined all of a sudden.
Nino smiled and patted Sho’s shoulder in lieu of saying thanks and good luck. They said their goodbyes and headed in their own dorms, except Nino didn’t, and headed to the tree beside the Arts building. He sat under the tree, leaning his head against the trunk, looking at the stars glimmering above.
With all the things laid out to him, Nino was still speechless, trying to wrap his mind about everything that had happened.
Sho’s words echoed in his head. “Sometimes, honesty is the foundation to keep the things you want to keep.”
Nino began whistling a tune he knew so well. It was the same tune that started all of this (though at that moment, there weren’t paper planes involved). The soft breeze carried the tune, letting the music flow in the air like an orchestra of the wind.
“It’s too much trouble,” you say
Because you aren’t being honest
I wonder why you can’t say it?
The phrase, “I love you”?
Nino stopped whistling, looking at where the voice came from, finding Ohno singing the last lines with a smile, even if the music had died down. Nino could only smile, shy and timid, as Ohno approached him, sitting beside him and copying his position.
There was a pregnant pause, both men looking towards the sky in awe. No one dared to speak, but the loud thumping in Nino’sheart became unbearable to hear.
“Why are you here?” Nino asked cautiously, hoping he didn’t sound like he was driving Ohno away.
“You weren’t there,” was Ohno’s brief answer.
Nino looked at Ohno, who silently looked back at him.
“It seemed pointless if you weren’t there,” Ohno added, sounding so firm and honest.
Honesty huh?
Without thinking about it too much, Nino felt it was the right time to finally be honest to them both.
“I love you, Satoshi.”
It was abrupt, yet thrilling in both a good and bad way. Maybe he did get what Sho meant by honesty being the foundation. If Ohno felt the same way, then it was a jackpot for him, because his feelings were reciprocated. If not, then Nino would be allowed to move on because he didn’t have regrets. They may not be lovers, but he and Ohno would still be good friends.
But, instead of hearing either words of affection or rejection, he felt Ohno’s lip touching his. It was just a chaste one at first, Ohno seemingly testing the waters. Nino got bolder and grabbed Ohno’s nape to crash their lips firmly together. Their kiss became more passionate and deep until air was needed and they had to seperate. They kept their faces close though. Their foreheads were leaning against each other. Their breaths lingering between them.
“I love you, too,” Ohno whispered against Nino’s lips after leaving a peck there.
Nino’s eyes widened before finding himself laughing so hard that he needed to pull away from Ohno and their close proximity. Ohno had a questioning look, but a smile didn’t leave his face.
“Damn, to think I endured all of that,” Nino said disbelievingly.
Ohno was still clueless. “Huh?”
Nino dismissed it with another peck before relaxing against the tree. “It’s nothing. It’s just exercise,” he said absentmindedly.
“But, Nino, you don’t exercise,” Ohno pointed out. There was a hint of teasing in his eyes.
Nino rolled his eyes, pulling Ohno closer to him. “Yeah, I suck at it anyway” Nino admitted with a shrug.
He really sucked at it.
At least, he got his man.
(And when he thought everything was fine already, they have to endure a one-hour lecture from Jun the next morning. Although it was mostly directed at Ohno because he left suddenly, leaving the guests in Jun’s hand without preamble, Nino stayed put. He held Ohno’s hand, sharing glances from time to time. They were together, and that was what mattered the most. Jun’s lecture be damned.)